cut down on our number of personnel.
Under the plan the older employees will be asked to go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future plans.
Therefore a programme to phase out older personnel by the end of the current financial year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately. The programme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early.)
Employees who are RAPED will be given the opportunity to look for other jobs outside the company, provided that they are being RAPED they can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This phase of the operation is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers).
All employees who have been RAPED or SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management. This will be called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termintion). Under the terms of the new policy employees may be RAPED once, SCREWED twice, but be SHAFTED as
2007-01-03 03:20:52 · 11 answers · asked by JillPinky 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
times as the company deems appropriate.
If the employee follows the above procedures he or she will be entitled to get HERPES (Half Earning for Retired Personnel's Early Severence). As HERPES is considered a benefit plan, any employee who has received HERPES will no longer be RAPED or SCREWED by the company.
Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy to ensure that employees are well trained through our Special High Intensity Training (****). The company takes pride in the amount of **** our employees receive. We have given our employees more **** than any other company in the area. If any employee feels he or she does not receive enough **** on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the **** you can stand.
Does the above sound like your company !!!
Serious replies only please ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
2007-01-03 03:25:55 · update #1
Not serious replies only. It's a joke, albeit a long winded one.
2007-01-03 04:10:41 · update #2
yes just like my company!
2007-01-03 04:13:05 · answer #1 · answered by Mr Cynical 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cute but funny! 8/10!
2007-01-03 18:16:13 · answer #2 · answered by cats 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try this
life at work is like a tree full of monkeys
all on different limbs at different levels
some monkeys are climbing up, some down
the monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.
the monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but
@s*h*les.
2007-01-03 12:21:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I see that some answerer's were not keen on this tale ,but it is not to far from the truth is-it.Anyway I did find very amusing9/10.
2007-01-03 11:59:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
good one typical upper management
2007-01-03 11:48:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep, that sounds about right!!! That's pretty good!! :)
2007-01-03 12:54:12 · answer #6 · answered by babiangel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW...U GOT TOO MUCH TIME N UR HANDS....
U SHOULD WORK ON BEIGN FUNNY
2007-01-03 12:43:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
bit too long mate
2007-01-03 13:07:26 · answer #8 · answered by monkey boy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
magic :)
2007-01-03 14:32:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you trying to be funny? because you failed miserably!!
2007-01-03 11:33:45 · answer #10 · answered by xiss 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋