I'm 16 he is 46 and he has children older than me.
I know I sound niave but I don't look or act my age and its been over three years since he was with my mum, we only met up to talk about a job and we ended up getting drunk and sleeping together and its been going on for about three months.
The trouble is, he will never go public with me and I really, really love him and I dont know what to do.
Our relationship would never be accepted and he is right when he says it would mess up his entire life, his children would disown him and the mothe of his younger children would never allow them to see him. Surely if he is risking all this for me I must mean something to him? He isn't a pervert, I am at legal age in my country but I don't know what to do next. I may even be pregnant.
I love him but if I was pregnant he has told me he would leave round here, and he would do the same if it ever came out.
What are we defined as? Friends, partners?
Please help.
2007-01-03 03:08:57 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hes a pervert,your stupid.end of story
2007-01-03 03:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW, that's a new one. Well I've dated a guy that was 14 years older than me, but 30 years, oh my god hun, what's wrong with you?! Okay, think about this next time, or every time you think about him. When you're 25 He's going to be 55! When you're 30 he will be 66, do you really think you will love him for the rest of your life? Do you really think he'll be there for you forever? Or is he just getting his Jolly's (like almost all the older men I've talked to online) being able to get a girl more than half of his own age. Come on now, put this into perspective. You need to find someone your own age sweetie, even though he's intelligent, treats you like no other man has (I'm sure, because the older the wiser, I've come to find out) So just really, think about it, is it worth it. And what would your mom think, when she finds out her baby, is dating an grown man(who should know better) And It really is kinda gross if you think about it, that he has kids older than yourself. Ask him what he would think if his teenage daughter were dating a guy his age, see what his reaction is. And really you still are a baby hun. You have a TON of growing to do, and you really need to think the whole situation through, rationally. Hope that helped, didn't mean to be mean, but that's just my thorough answer.
2016-05-22 22:52:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By me - he is defined as a huge JERK. You are defined as naive and gullable. Friends? Partners? Please. He's the penis and you are the vagina. That's it. You say you must mean something to him. Yes - what you mean is that he has a willing vagina from somebody who he gives NOTHING to in a relationship. He says that if you are seen in public together that it will mess up his entire life. What about YOUR life!?!?!?! Get away from this man.
I don't know if you LOOK your age - but you for sure - do not ACT your age. My kid just turned 12 today - and she is much more mature than you. She would NEVER get drunk and sleep with her mother's ex boyfriend. You think that is mature? Your behavior goes above and beyond immaturity. You may feel like you're grown up - but you're just doing "grown up" things - and not ready to take the responsibility that goes with all of it. (like BIRTH CONTROL!!)
Get away from this man. Start hanging out with well behaved, moral people - if you know any. Move on. Start over. If you are pregnant - find a nice family - move in with them -and give them the baby. You are not smart enough to be a Mom. You will raise a daughter to get drunk and sleep with older men. - because those are your morals right now. That's not good.
You cannot control ANYTHING that this man does. All you can control is what YOU DO. So it's important for YOU to start DOING smart things. Being involved with this man is NOT smart.
I know this advice is blatant and cold. That's the best way I know to help.
2007-01-03 03:23:42 · answer #3 · answered by liddabet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friend this is a very difficult situation,it's even difficult for me to help u but anyway I'll just try and give u an advice.u said ur mom's ex boyfriend gal that's a very big mistake of ur lyfe that's not love this man is taking u for a fool how can he came to u after he was involved with ur mom and baby u are so young to be in this situation,this is clear that that's what this man always do cheating after cheating.Oh,u said maybe u are pregnant that's even worsening the situation anyway it's not too late for u i advice u to leave this beast before it eats u alive if u are worried about the pregnant it's even better to arbort it good luck
2007-01-03 03:35:28 · answer #4 · answered by richardsmercy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I read was the first sentence... What the hell is the matter with you and that man! I hope your mom finds out and reports it so this sick f*ck get some serious charges thrown against him! That is absolutley disgusting! What are you doing gettting drunk at 16... I hate to break it too you but you are not only nieve but ignorant. You are his sex toy and that is it! You mean nothing to him you are a nieve little girl that is letting someone who should be an authority figure take advantage of what was once your innocence! Of course he would leave you if you were pregnant... Thats promised jailtime for him! Help is an understatement for what you need... you obviously are seeking a lack of parental guidence in your life!
2007-01-03 03:13:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The line was crossed when you started dating your mom's ex-boyfriend. Like any older guy, I believe he just wants someone young to fool around with. guys take major risks for other reasons than love. You'll risk your life and loved ones for pure lust and a good time. So you shouldn't buy into that. I wouldn't exactly say you guys were in a relationship, but just sexual partners. it needs to be cut off and quick, because in the end you're gonna be the one crying from a broken heart.
2007-01-03 03:18:13 · answer #6 · answered by maheloni 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you sleep with someone you sleep with everyone they have been with, so that's your mom! He does not love you and you mean nothing to him... legal or not he is a pervert and you are only sex to him. If a man would leave you because his actions along with yours get you pregnant, then you know he is not right for you. Stop being his call girl and look for someone that loves you enough that they will be open about the relationship... hiding a relationship means you feel guilty about it or are ashamed.
2007-01-03 03:13:59 · answer #7 · answered by 2007 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is using you for a thrill. Like one of those its so wrong but so hot things. If he truely cared about his children he wouldnt be fooling around with someone so young that he doesnt even want to go out in public with. He should be more responsible. You are much younger and newer to the game he should know better. You really need to look out for yourself. If he doesnt want to go out into public with you he is obviously ashamed not because of you but of the age difference. Also screw his life what about how he could mess up your life. Be selfish if he cant be with you like someone should be in a relationship he is not good enough for you.
2007-01-03 03:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is taking advantage of a 16 year old. You should stay away from him. Even if you don't look or act your age the fact is that you are still only 16 years old. He sounds like a sick man just for sleeping with someone underage.
2007-01-03 03:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by williamcoulson 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You want a definition....try victim of sexual abuse. And if you think you have problems now wait until you're pregnant. You seem so naive....I'm hoping none of this is actually true and you're just a lonely person needing attention. Your mom (after she gets over the initial shock) will help you out of this mess when you decide to confide in someone.
2007-01-03 03:13:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok since you aren't public about the relationship you would be classified as fwbs {friends with benefits} and honestly if your mom knew i bet she would be angry and just think if you have a baby at 16 that is hard on you and the baby i'm 15 and i have a sister that is 1 its hard on every one thta lives in our house but i mean if you love him then he should care for you to since he doing all of this for you so i think that he does care and if he lives around you then he can help with your baby if you are pregant but everything will work out it might get worse before better but i know that everything has a funnny way of working themselfs out so good luck and take care of yourself god bless you!!
2007-01-03 03:16:50 · answer #11 · answered by love strong with no regrets! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋