My girlfriends problem...?

Question

My girlfriend cant have an orgasm....even when she mastrubates....she is really embarassed about it and is to afraid to talk to ne one about it....she said that i could tho....so no bs plse...ne ways....i was wondering if it had ne thing to do with her childhood....she was abused physically and mentally....drs say that she was sexually abused.....but she says that she wasnt....IDK what to do...i really want her to \be able to experience an orgasm and i want her to be happy....what should i do??

Answer 1

Try giving her oral.

Answer 2

The reason she can't have an orgasm is because she finds sex repulsive. She was raped and abused. She needs counselling to get over that. I read your last post and it seems the both of you are in a really bad way.

I don't think you are getting the right help.

I can't even begin to imagine what your lives must be like, but painful as they were, don't let yourselves become victims of someone else's cruelty. If you do, you have let THEM WIN.

You can have a beautiful life but you are both carrying a huge ball and chain with you everywhere you go.

You need to cut that ball and chain loose and let it drop off a cliff somewhere, and then move forward with your life.

You hear people say they are BORN AGAIN, through Christ. He can be your salvation. Even if you don't want to believe in God, you can tell yourself today, I have a new lease on life, and I am going to make it better.

Don't look at what you don't have, at what you lost, at what was taken from you. Look at what you have and what you can become if you only allow yourself too.

There used to be this saying "Act the way you want to be, and soon you'll be the way you act."

Tell yourself "I LOVE ME", I hold the key to MY OWN HAPPINESS. I WILL be happy. I will make those around me happy, and then do it.

Don't worry about your girlfriend's inability to experience orgasm right now. You shouldn't even force her to have sex. You should just tell her let's stop for now. Let's just touch and hold each other. That is what the experts would tell you to do anyhow. You have to build a PHYSICAL TRUST between one another, and you can communicate this without words just holding on another.

Eventually when your girlfriend feels "safe" with you, she may allow herself "emotionally" to trust you and allow herself to enjoy orgasm without feeling guilty.

Don't forget she has deep feelings of shame for feeling aroused while she was being abused. This is what stops her from having an orgasm is the guilt from that. Or it could have been excruciatingly painful and something she wants no part of, yet she's human and craves love as we all do. It's not her fault what they did to her, that is why it's called abuse. Sometimes you can never pull someone back however, they have to want to, and you can only be there to help them, but sometimes in forcing them to when they are not willing, you are just making their lives more difficult which is why I say maybe you should stop for now and try a different approach which might help you both. Light candles, soft music and no pressure and see what happens when you just create an intimate world of trust there, remember, just touch, no sex, just feelings of trust you are trying to bring out...and if other feelings pour out too, that's good, they need to come out, remember it's a circle of trust and safety and security you are going for, that is what intimacy is and it's a hard thing to achieve for a lot of people.

Heal yourselves, and then worry about the world around you...it's not important nor does it define who you are.

Answer 3

First off good for you for taking the initiative in asking for her. Nobody but her can tell you if she was sexually abused. If she was - I would almost bet that is where the hang up is. If between the two of you, your unable to achieve an orgasm, perhaps try having her purchase a "toy". There are many, many different kinds and sizes and almost guarantee one if the person is open enough for this kind of thing.

I'm happy to see the man taking the time to help her out with this. She is a lucky woman.

Good Luck

P.S I love my Eager Beaver..... :0)

Answer 4

Has she been using a vibrator to masturbate? Not penetrating with it, just rubbing her clit with it? I've found that's the easiest way to have an orgasm. If not, perhaps buy her a small, non-intimidating one? As well, if you'd like to be involved, just be there with her and kiss her and tell her how beautiful she is and how much you love her...the main part of sex for women is mental, being turned on in your mind. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

Her problem is more than likely not physiological, but psychological. She really should see a doctor to find out what really happened to her growing up, and only then can she begin healing. She said she wasn't abused, but she may have just repressed those memories which are coming out now in other areas of her life. Please try to get her to see a psychologist/psychiatrist, you both will be happier in the long run.

Good luck

Answer 6

Prolong the foreplay to include more focused attention your partner (kissing neck, abdomen, inguinal areas, etc., and eventually provide oral stimulation of varying degrees to her engorging clitoris, focus on motions and intensity, and observe her responses to the changes. You can then insert one or two fingers into her vagina and GENTLY stroke the upper surface of the vagina (G-spot) 1.5 - 2 inches inward combined with circular clitoral licking.
Some women also enjoy anal stimulation and you can follow through with a third finger inserted into her anus for serious pelvic stimulation.

Answer 7

Try some toys... be patient. if she was abused she may have to work through that first. Encourage her to open up about it. Maybe some porn would help.