My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We started off very rough but now we are better than could be. Even though we're good i stll can't get over the way things were at first. I sometimes think and regret that maybe I should have left him alone time ago. I love him so much and we are so good now. But I don't know what to do. Should I just let go of the past or let go of him. We didn't have any problems like cheating but the way he was towards me really hurt me, even though he has changed into a better person. He's the sweetest person he can ever be but I'm afraid that he will do somthing that he did before. What should I do.
2007-01-03 03:01:02 · 13 answers · asked by blueeyedgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have been going through the same thing, and I am still with her. She did everything... I am trying to work it out because I do love her. You can stick it out for a little while, and see how things balance out, but if there is still no trust there, then you have to let him go. If he hasn't done anything, or shown signs of doing it again, or lied, or pushing you away in other ways then he is really trying, and you should try and stick it out with him.
2007-01-03 03:07:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no wiser voice than your inner self. You must listen to it. It knows what only you have shared, and it has only your best interests at heart. If you have a nagging feeling that something isn't right with remaining in this relationship, then believe me, something isn't right with remaining in this relationship. The biggest mistake we make in life (and we make it over and over and over again) is failure to trust ourselves. You refer to "letting go of the past" as if it were a simple thing or a necessary thing. That may not be the case. The past, after all, is all we really have to base our sound decisions on, isn't it? And history does repeat itself. Past performance is the biggest predictor of future behavior, even if there's a slight chance things could turn out differently. Am I saying that no one should be given a second chance or that people don't change? No. But I am saying that you alone are responsible for how YOUR future turns out, and when you entertwine that future with another person, you have every good reason to give serious thought to the person's track record and to give credence to the internal "vibe" you are getting about them now. Good luck.
2007-01-03 11:08:52 · answer #2 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If things are great now, and he changed into a better person you need to let go of the past, he changed and made himself a better person for you, and that is rare to find that sort of devotion, just watch what he does, be aware of what he did in the past, forgive but do not forget is what I say. If you love him so very much stay with him. Relationships were meant to be worked out not tossed asside for past reasons, you are living in the present and what you should be looking towards is the future.
2007-01-03 11:04:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advise 2 U is 2 letgo of the past and move on but if he goes back to the way he was before then let go of him 4-ever.
2007-01-03 11:07:58 · answer #4 · answered by Hilda S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a person (male) attacks his mate (female) by verbal or phsycial abusive ways...it's a sign that trouble is in paradise though, it may cease now, it is a reminder to you that it happened and yes it can happen again.
There are things such as trigger points in people that make them react violently in such cases maybe your was not so violent, but nevertheless, it's something to be very, very cautious about and I wouldn;t make any final decisons as to being with this perosn for the rest of your life. It can take several years for him to prove that it wont' happen again.
He is now on probation from you and any default on his part will be a ruling in your favor and he has lost the best things that ever happen for him (YOU)
2007-01-03 11:07:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is the basis of every relationship u seem to lack this.
If u were worried in the beginning u shud of stopped it then but u've worked at it and things are better i wud let go of the past but if he doubts u again and does anything like he used to then get rid straight away everyone deserves a second Chance let him have his.
2007-01-03 11:04:36 · answer #6 · answered by Zoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys learn over time and they slow down and relax a little, but if he is a really angry man and herts you then stay gone. Its always good in the begining this willl happen in your next relationship if your just looking for the crazy times you have in the first months your going to loose that lust feeling again
2007-01-03 11:06:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really even understand why you would ask that question. If he has changed in your eyes and is happy to be who he is and happy with you, why would you even consider leaving? This is how relationships work. They are constantly evolving around a core of love and trust. If you still don't trust him (assuming he hasn't given you any reason not to) you need to look at yourself and see what you need to change about you (either your relationship or yourself).
2007-01-03 11:07:34 · answer #8 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either have to let go of it or break up. To me, it doesn't seem like you fully trust him. I think you are waiting for the past to repeat. So you just need to decide what is best for you. Move on WITH HIM or WITHOUT HIM.
Good Luck!
2007-01-03 11:03:40 · answer #9 · answered by Tracie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If things are great now, give him another chance, but only one. If he goes back to the way he was, chances are he won't change and you'll need to find someone better.
2007-01-03 11:03:01 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋