have been dating this middle class white guy, i'm black. we've been dating for 3 months, but i have only met one of his ex work colleague. i have never actually met any of the friends that he goes out with for a drink or any social event. he has never invited me to go out with him when he goes out with his friends, i have and he's seen my friends. i wonder whether it is too soon for him to introduce me to his friends as we have just started and things aren't the best due to poor communication on his part or that he is ashamed of the fact that he's seeing me and i'm black and his friends don't date black women? so he's kind of uncomfortable with the situation?
2007-01-03 02:53:51 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Does he deliberately avoid taking you to places where he might run into his friends? When you go out, do you ever go to places in his neighborhood? Do you know where he and his friends hang out? Try dropping in when you know they are there. (Not alone, preferably with 2 or more of your friends) See how he reacts. You will know if he is ashamed.
2007-01-03 03:09:47 · answer #1 · answered by babydoll 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not be that you are black and he and his friends are white. It's always a big step for any man to introduce a woman he's dating to his friends. Along with things like meeting one another's parents, it's a milestone for any relationship.
You might simply ask him -- directly -- if you might be able to join him the next time he goes out with his friends. If he doesn't jump at this idea, then suggest that the friends come to your home (I'm assuming you share a home).
If he shoots down both of these ideas, then it's time to talk about why he wants to keep his social life and his romantic life separate. I'm not saying that it isn't because he is white and you are black, but I am saying that you should give him the benefit of the doubt here.
If that really is the problem, then I don't think I have to tell you that this relationship has no future. Make sure you're certain.
2007-01-03 02:59:44 · answer #2 · answered by Jeff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had the opportunity to date three black women. I am a white man living(grew up) in South Dakota. I have cherished almost every experience(one lady said her favorite movie was Dirty Dancing....one of my friends that is a black guy said that "she really ain't black"...) I would not hestitate to incorporate any of those girls into my social events or just hanging out. I found that i have more in common with women that are black than I do with women that are white. Having a relationship with a person intimately and socially should go hand-in-hand. As long as she conducts herself like a lady in public what else can a guy ask for. If you have doubts there is probably a reason for them.
2007-01-03 03:06:37 · answer #3 · answered by str_atKnowledge 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What does your gut instinct tell you?
Three months isn't a very long time and it might be too early to tell however, it's not the same as meeting someone two days ago either, so it seems pretty natural that you should have (by now) met some of his friends or have had an opportunity to hang out with them.
You probably already know the answer to your question... so you either need to move on or deal with how he treats you.
2007-01-03 03:06:44 · answer #4 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you know the answer. There is a saying about fat women (not nice); Fat women are like mopeds. They're fun to ride, but you wouldn't want to be seen on one.
This is the case, but substitute black for fat. Obviously, if he was really into and didn't have issues with the racial thing, he would be showing you off to his friends.
You are in the classic Friends With Benefits relationship (you're just very slow to catch on or in denial). You have to decide if it is worth continuing.
Know that he will definitely dump you if you push for more.
2007-01-03 03:00:52 · answer #5 · answered by arin1330 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your guy COULD be cool, but his friends and/or family may not be so receptive to his dating a sister. Face it, racism still exists and while some people seem to be over it or dealing with it, others are not doing so well in that department. He may be trying to protect you and your feelings.
But, the only way to know for sure is to have a heart to heart with him. Let him know that regardless of how his friends and family feel you will still want to be with him (even if you tell him that just to get your answer). Best wishes.
2007-01-03 03:04:02 · answer #6 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and ask him about it. If you've been dating for three months and he won't let you meet his friends (but he goes out with them anyway), there's something a little wrong here. Three months is more than just a casual fling. Tell him you don't have to meet the whole gang all at one time. Just one or two of them at a time, just to break the ice. Since he spends time with them, they're obviously important to him. If he tries to weasel out of letting you meet them, there is obviously something about the situation that he'd rather not confront. Ask him what's up.
2007-01-03 02:57:00 · answer #7 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not soon, its weird that he's not asked you. Maybe he just likes his alone time with the guys. But I would ask and if he just doesn't want you there, and he doesnt' agree on some way to meet them, then I would be suspicious. But one way to meet them is to throw a get-to-gether or party where everyone can meet one another. But like I said, if he's not for you seeing his friends at all, I would raise an eyebrow.
2007-01-03 02:59:06 · answer #8 · answered by julygirly22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yikes. I'd find a new guy - one that's PROUD to have you on his arm and can't wait to tell everyone you're his girl.
If you've been dating for three months, he's had PLENTY of time to adjust - I don't see why he'd need to adjust in the first place - but any akwardness or shyness should have passed a long time ago.
Don't wait for this small minded freak to come around - you deserve better!!!!
2007-01-03 02:57:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually have an noticeably undesirable answer for you: do not tell them. i can not anticipate your age, so i will talk hypothetically. if you're over eighteen, it does not, not be counted what your father and mom' reviews are about the individuals you date. i do not propose to sound chilly, yet when that's the case, improve a backbone and tell them to butt out and close up. if you're less than eighteen, do not tell them, and then wait until eventually you're previous adequate to legally make your own judgements and then tell them to butt out and close up. Your father and mom, at the same time as they propose the finest for you, at the instantaneous are not continuously correct. they basically imagine they are. I talk from adventure: at the same time as i became in my late youthful ones, my grandmother, who's a religious Catholic, were given note that i became seeing a Jewish boy. She blew up in my face and advised me that God received't enable me into heaven for relationship a Jew, that lets under no circumstances get married because it wasn't portion of Jesus's plan, blah blah blah. it really is insensitive to anticipate that folk of different faiths or races (to make sparkling, i'm not a religious Catholic and he became not a religious Jew; we did not care about faith, we basically cared about one yet another) can not stay harmoniously. that's that type of archaic lack of know-how that receives human beings battling. yet i'm not about to get political about this. the point is that when your father and mom come to words with the actual undeniable truth that they are helpless in replacing your determination, they might have more desirable respect for you and for your guy. I desire you the finest of success. And interior the propose time, bypass supply your guy some smooches. :)
2016-10-16 23:13:24 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋