My mother in law, was staying with us and we fought and she pushed me and called be a B**CH,?

Question

Then she actually said my husband loves his business more than me. Oh and lets not forget that she said me and my family are nothing but an excuse!! And why did she say all this? B/c I told her that I didnt want to be a part of her business. My own opinion, and she blows up, but she was drinking........my question is, should i forgive her? we have been around each other after that happened but it was soo awkward..she wont apoligize....but how should I and really should I be the one to say sorry??

Sorry so long!! Any help would be great!
Oh and of course my husbands on his moms side, and he thinks I am at fault b/c she was drinking and I wasnt, so I should have "been the bigger person"

Answer 1

Its become so routine that people blame their bad behavior on alcohol. While its true alcohol may have fueled her rage, chances are her wrath was there all along and it took this drunken incident to unleash it all. If she has had other encounters with you like this then its clearly not the alcohol. As far as your hubby taking her side....what do you expect? In my case it doesn't matter how wrong my mother-in-law is, my husband always takes her side. That's just how it is. By no means should you apologize. She was clearly wrong.

Answer 2

I think that the bigger problem here is that your husband took her side. Yes she was drinking and you should have been and could have been the bigger person but that gave her no right to do or say any of that to you and yes she should apoligize and your husband needs a reality check. I would apoligize now yes you did nothing wrong but it makes you the bigger person it shows your more mature than her. just simply tell her I'm sorry if what I said upset you I didn't mean for it to. Because I know one thing by not apoligizing your being just like her immature plus she probably took it the wrong way.

Answer 3

Your husband is an ***! Drunks using the drinking excuse to explain their abhorrent behavior all the time. Did you make her take a drink?
Your husband should be on your side and expect his mother to make some effort at seeking your forgiveness. Being in or out of a business is not an excuse to assault someone.
And, in many states, her pushing you could be the basis of a criminal assault charge -
Tell the mommas boy to grow up and protect his wife.

Answer 4

wow. Well, you could forgive her, but then that sort of excuses her behavior. Drinking or not, she basically assaulted you. I guess if I were you, I'd confront her over lunch (invite her) and tell her you'd like to sit down and discuss what happened. Tell her you believe you are owed an apology and also explain why you want no part of her business. If she doesn't apologize then nicely explain that there will be ties cut because of this and see her next Christmas....maybe. Also, take along a few phamphlets from Alcoholics Anonyous to give to her -- it sounds like she has a problem above and beyond you.

Answer 5

The big problem is your mother in law. Is your husband some kind of whimp that he cant stand up for his wife. Its his mother that has the drinking problem love,not you.

Why should you say sorry & be the 'bigger person' for her calling you a B**tch. She is the one who was drinking in your & your husbands house.

If your husband loved his work more than he loved you...why did he marry you? The way i see it,he is working to make you happy & give you a comfortable life for you & him to live happily. As long as you & your husband.

Im sorry to say this bu sometimes all guys are mommies boys no matter what. Tell your husband to grow up.
Good Luck Love

Answer 6

Several problems to address here.
1. The issue between you and your husband. Especially that
he took her side when she was drinking and physically and verbally assaulted you. You need to have a long talk with your spouse. "Honey, I love you. However, right now, I am feeling
very hurt and let down. I feel that you don't really love me. I feel this way because you think it was ok for your mother to
call me names and push me around for expressing my own opinion, when she was drinking. Drinking that results in that type of behavior is wrong. I could have called the cops and had her arrested for physical assult. I didn't out of respect for our family.
I believe she has a serious problem and needs counseling. In fact,
I believe we all need some to help deal with these issues.
Will you go with me to the appointments when I arrange them, please ? "
If the answer is no. "Then, I guess, you really don't love me. Your mother was right about you loving your business more than me. I don't see any point in continuing this marriage, knowing how you really feel about me. Then, (if your name is on the mortgage or lease or title to the house), there's the door."

If your name isn't on the mortgage or house title or lease....pack and leave yourself. Either way file for a divorce and get out of the siituation.

2. If your husband agrees to counseling, then you both sit down with his mother (if it's your house) "Mom, we love you. However, your drinking and resulting behavior are creating a lot of problems.
I could of had you arrested for physical assault. I didn't because I think you need help. I'd like us all to go to counseling together to work through this. Will you please go with us? "
If no, then (if it's your house) "Mom, I don't understand why you refuse to go. But, I won't live with that type of behavior, any longer. There's the door. You have 24 hours to pack your stuff and get out. If you remain after that time, I'll call the cops."

Answer 7

Please do take it easy. I know it is very difficult in such a situation. Try and pray to God to help you by giving more patience. Patience pays. Let your husband take all the side he wants with his mom.One day when she lashes her tongue at him, he will know what the pain is.
One more thing is just becasue a dog bit you, you will not bite the dog back, so the same logic applies here. Just because she called you the b word, does not make you one and you need not use that word. It is very uncivilized and immature.
When she tries to pull you into a word war, just get out of the place, go to a mall or a store or wherever you feel relaxed...good luck

Answer 8

Its just one of them situations.
Your husbands doing what every bloked does he dont wanna hurt his mum and deep down he knows u know that if he cud hed take ur side over anyones its just a front for his mum.

It shud blow over if it bothers her that much dont apologise just agree to disagree and move on let nothing more be said ur not in the wrong for saying what ud di but maybe the timming cud of been better and she shudnt of siad what she did and the drink isnt an excuse.

Answer 9

Being a husband I know it’s hard to choose sides between wife and mother. If I were you I would try to be the bigger person and apologize and try to smooth things over. Still try to really explain why you don’t want to be part of her business. May she will understand. Be careful some older people are really set in there ways and it’s no changing there minds about how they see things.

Answer 10

He can be the biggest a$$ because he should have taken your side. Being drunk isn't an excuse for such behavior and if shes an alky an apology isn't in the books, such people think they can say and do whatever they want just by getting drunk and somehow, magically, the damage they cause should be overlooked. Why should you apologize for what she said? You have a right to work where you want. And I wouldn't want to work for someone who treated me like that either. Neither of you will apologize, but for the sake of family, stay cool to her, but see her when you have to, and not alone, make sure she knows shes not welcome on other than invitation, but be polite and distant when you see her. And DO NOT go to work for her.