Relationship over??

Question

I think my bf is getting ready to walk again,and i don`t know why,i don`t think i have done anything wrong.I am to scared to ask incase he tells me it`s over again.I don`t think i can go through this again.

We split during the summer for about 6 weeks and then decided we`d get back together and not just for our son as i told him i didn`t want that although it was agony and i thought i was going to go insane!

Things were good for the first couple of weeks and we got on great and then he started staying out all night every time he went out.We went on a night out last friday and got in around 7 on the saturday morning,he sneaked off whilst i was still in bed around 9 and didn`t come home till 2pm on the sunday,he`s been acting all quiet again.

I don`t know whats worse sitting in silence alone or when the person you love with all your heart can`t find anything to say to you.
I`m trying to keep things normal for our 4 year old son who has learning difficulties.I`m at my wits end!!

Answer 1

It sounds like you'd be better off without this guy. He is not mature enough to raise a son with you. You should just collect the child support and use it to better your son's life. You are worth more than this guy is giving you.

Answer 2

It sounds like an awful situation. Unfortunately some people are just not meant to be together. I would recommend facing facts - speak to him.

Whatever the answer, knowing the truth is always better than what you are imagining, living each day scared is no way to live.

And if the answer is not what you wanted to hear - although it will be painful you lived through it once before - you will again. There is no point delaying the inevitable.

Your son is getting to an age where he will soon understand, if he doesnt already. You need to teach him about self worth, respect and healthy relationships the same as you need to teach him other life skills.

If he thinks this on/off relationship thing is normal he will grow up with a warped idea about love and life.

Take the plunge yourself. Regardless of what your BF is planning or thinking he is not making you happy at the moment. Dont hold onto a relationship because of 2 happy weeks sometime in the past, or because it used to be good, or because you have a son together. Walk away because you have a son together.

I know this is painful, but I think you need to face up to reality. You can sit around miserable for another month, and then be hit with the pain, or you can have the pain now. Either way it hurts but if you do it now you know where you are and you can start the healing. You will get over it, you will move on - but the first step is to start moving now - take control.

Answer 3

It sounds as if you're 'walking on eggshells' afraid to approach him with your questions or concerns, which probably means that you feel alone. I'd feel alone in this situation. Denial will not help you face life's challenges. He seems very self-focused and his failure to tell you when he leaves or expects to returns is inconsiderate behavior. You must determine what your level of tolerance is and the likelihood that he'll make changes once this matter is discussed. Realize that staying in the wrong relationship will hold you back and prevent you from crossing paths with someone else that could provide the love and support that you deserve. It's admirable that you are attempting to 'keep things normal' for your son....but he'll eventually perceive the problems as well. He needs a mother that is happy. I hope you have a wonderful support system (friends and/or family) that will help you through this difficult time. If not, seek out that support through a church, community group, or somewhere else b/c you need guidance and love. This guy is being evasive and elusive and I can tell the suspence is killing you. You need closure in some form or another....I think facing this head on might be good for your own self esteem regardless of how things work out. You're probably stronger and more capable than even you are aware at this point. Focus on yourself and your own needs. Use the solitude to help yourself. Good Luck

Answer 4

I'm very sorry to hear about the agony you are going through. I can relate to my current situation with my GF. Do you find that if you constantly ask him what's going on, you feel like you're nagging him when all you want is reassurance? When you got back together, were you able to discuss what the issues for the break up were and work on resolving them? I've come to the realization that my GF may not be ready to be in this relationship, even though she states that she is in love with me. There may be issues that haven't been resolved on his behalf and you need to discuss this with him. Have you gotten back in the same routine you were in before you broke up? When ppl get back together, it has to be for the right reasons, and only they will know what that it and if it will work. Going through a break up with someone who you love (again) is so very much heartbreaking. Try to talk to him and as childish as it may seem, take control and let him know that, don't let him take advantage of you by walking out when he wants...how would he take it if you were doing the same? Good luck.

Answer 5

You gotta do what is right for YOU and your child. Being in this kind of situation is not good for either of you. Your son KNOWS and FEELS the pain you are in. Dont let him grow up and think that the way his daddy treated his mommy was Ok, because it isnt. You need to end this, and move on. Find someone who you can trust, and wont have you feeling lonely when he is sitting right next to you. Thats not what love is. This life is WAY TOO SHORT to be in such an unhappy relationship where you are always waiting for him to make his move. Make YOUR move. Kick his @ss out and DONT EVER give him another chance. He is doing something he shouldnt be doing to you- and its not right.

Dont wake up 6 years from now in a love less relationship and realize how much time you've wasted on NOTHING.

Good luck

Answer 6

ask him. if he says that it is over, maybe it is the right thing. If you've split up before maybe its the best thing to split up forever. Do you really want your son to see you crying, miserable or upset all the time? He is taking this all in and may try to do something about it when he is older if your still together, which could make things worse.
If I were in your shoes, I would get someone to babysit your son and follow your boyfriend to where ever he goes at night. Spy on him!!!
Its not a nice thing to think about but do you think that he is seeing someone else??

Answer 7

There seems to be a growing trend where children are increasingly becoming the victims of one`s break up I hope you manage to get back try,getting yourselves to a counsellor maybe to find out why there are problems within.

Answer 8

You need to sit down and talk with your boyfriend.
Even if you are scared of the outcome it has got to be better than worrying yourself crazy about it.
Whether he leaves or not, you have got to be strong for your son, and the longer it goes on you not knowing the worse it will be.

Answer 9

don't worry just ask him whats wrong and he gets funny with u an even mentions ending your releationship he wasn't much of a boy friend at the start don't let your self go throught this again your worth more than that

Answer 10

Well just be friends with him maybe you guy's hooked up to early and had a kid to fast without learning about what ya'll really wanted to do. Just remain in good relations it is good for your kid, but don't stick around if your man is always being sneaky