A little boy told my daughter he doesnt like brown girls....what should i do?

Question

It was at school. she is in forth grade. Do i let her deal with it or go to the principal?

Answer 1

I would explain to your daughter that there are people out there like that. And just have her avoid him if possible. If the problem persists or intensifies, then involve the school officials.

Answer 2

I think in this day and age it's a serious issue. You might go and talk to the prinicpal about doing something positive like a series of school activities around diversity at the school. The activities could be really simple and with a few caring and active parents it could be really neat!

You could also read some kids books to her class and others either as a part of that or seperately! I bet if you really think about it you will come up with many things you can do.

You should also look into helping your daughter deal with this because as a brown girl she is likely to run into this kind of BS in various places. Unfortunately racism is still everywhere in the US.

Check out the links in the sources section.

Answer 3

This other child no doubt got these disgusting ideas from his parents and, if you do catch him saying it, I'd have a gentle word to him about how people are all the same inside despite having different coloured-skin. You should also have a word to your daughter's class teacher to warn her what this boy has been saying. Perhaps she can have a chat to the whole class about racism to set this child on the right tracks without going as far as repriminding him personally since there is still time for him to change.

As for your daughter, you need to reassure her and let her know that skin colour doesn't matter at all. Let her discuss her worries and ask how she feels about what this boy said so nothing is left festering.

Answer 4

Sorry but what will the Principal do?

A child of that age (the boy) is obviously being influenced by the way that he was brought up by his Parents, and what he hears within his social circles.

OK, he is young, so there is still plenty of time for his thoughts to broaden, as he matures and grows up...

Best, advise your daughter that everyone in this world has different ideas and views. Everyone is different, however some views are quire narrow-minded and may not always be right or appropriate!

Best of luck, these are life experiences that will become more common as your daughter grows up! :)

Answer 5

If they are in the fourth grade, this probably means he likes her a lot, but is not used to being around people different from him. Most children don't say things like this on their own, maybe he heard something negative about black people at home and is conflicted by this. I would tell the teacher so she can monitor the behavior,but let your daughter handle it. Kids have a way of working those things out, if we don't make a big deal out of it.

Answer 6

You should talk to the boy and ask why he would say something like that!

You should also go to the principal, this is not acceptable, but you should tell the principal that you will discuss this with the boy in question.

Answer 7

I've always told my sons that it doesn't matter what other people think, and when comments like this are made, it shows the ignorance of the person making such a statement. (My sons are bi-racial, and could be "classified" as "caramel.") However, if the little boy continues to make these comments to your daughter, she needs to let her teacher and/or the school counselor know about it. All the schools my sons have attended do not tolerate bigotry in any way, shape or form.

Answer 8

If it is a one time comment then just let your daughter deal with it. We all have to deal with the fact that not everyone will like us at one time or another. However, if this boy is repeatedly making racist statements to her I would bring it up to the teacher or the principal.

Answer 9

I think this is a tricky one as you can't ignore this because that is your daughters feelings and you would feel hurt if an adult turned round to say that to you. The difference is as adults we learn to take comments with a pinch of salt from the people that are not important to us. I guess what I would do, and what I did with my eldest son would be to sit down and tell them how gorgeous, special etc they are. And tell them that through life there will be spiteful people that say things that are nasty, and to remember that those are the people that are not important in our lives and also those people may well not be as perfect themselves. I think you should monitor and make sure that it is not a regular thing and a bullying situation. Your daughter will be sensitive as she is growing up about the way she looks and boys etc . So it is only natural for her to be hurt by a comment like that. I remember only too well being at school and being called flat chested scarred me for years. But I am here alive and well and smiling...... And love my life because I had supported parents who made me feel special!!

Answer 10

Comfort your daughter and tell her you are sure she can deal with the problem.Enough!After that it's your daughter's decision what to do.It's stupid t go to the principal's office,as long as the little boy has the right to have his own opinion.It's not very pleasant to hear comments about your skin color(or hair color or eyes color) but your daughter has the right to learn how to deal with such comments.Tell her she can do some things if she wants to - she can pass by as if she hadn't heard anything;she can offend the boy after he has offended her;she can laugh at his stupidity and pass;she can tell "You don't like brown girls but I don't like silly boys!"...it's usually better if you let the child deal with it on her own and just comfort her and express how sure you are that she can cope with this.

Answer 11

Let her deal with it and teach her how to deal with it. A comment from her like, "that's your problem," and her walking away like his comments don't matter is a good way to deal with it. Tell her to hold her head up high.

You can always mention it to the teacher and tell her what you have taught your daughter to do to deal with the problem. It would be nice if that little boy could learn that his behavior is not acceptable. At his age it is likely not racism but might be copycat behavior of something the child has seen. It is important to correct the behavior.