Question on change of day care?

Question

My 18 month old changed day care yesteday-he was at his previous center since he was 10 weeks old. We had an hour long commute each way and needed to send him to a center closer to home. The center he is at is very good, well recommended, the staff is great to him when we have gone to visit. When I am there he has a great time-plays, snacks, interacts with the other kids. But when I leave-melt down. He cried all day yesterday. Today, when I left it was a bad scene-him screaming while his teacher held him and suggested playing with the other children. I have stayed a bit in the morning, then tell him "mommy has to go to work but I will come back for you" and give a kiss and leave. I am going to go pick him up early the next few days so it is a shorter day for him. He loved his old school so much-but it wasn't practical to keep driving him 120 miles a day plus I can't look for a job close to home until he is settled in day care closer. Just feeling guilty for leaving my sad little guy!

Answer 1

This is perfectly normal behavior for his age. At 18 months, he has discovered "object permanence", which means that he understands that when you leave, you are still out there in the world somewhere, even if he can't see you. This is a big cognitive leap, and it fuels separation anxiety for him. Just keep doing what you are doing- tell him you love him and say goodbye. The longer you drag out the goodbye process, the more anxious you will make him, so make it short and sweet. "Here's Teacher Penny. She'll take you to go play with your friends. I love you and will see you later. Bye, bye!" Give a kiss and hug and scoot out of there. Yes, he will cry- but it's only because he loves you and understands that you will be gone for a while. I guarantee that once he settles in (changing daycares is a big deal to a little one) the crying will cease. Sometimes there is nothing we can do as parents but do what we have to. Sometimes it means changing situations that will affect our children. He will have an adjustment period- and that will be hard for a little while, but you'll make it through it together.

Answer 2

"Time heals all wounds." Live by and believe those words. I used to work at a day care center. A lot of kids would cry when Mommy left but they'd stop as soon as she was out of sight. They do get over it. I think it's harder on the parents than the kids. They are in great care at a most day care centers which in addition to snacks provide T.L.C. and so many distractions to keep your child pre-occupied. In time, your child will adjust- change can just be scary.

Answer 3

I know what you mean. I cried the first time I left my oldest at daycare.

He's just scared from the change. Just keep leaving him, just drop him off and go. Don't hang around. The more you do it, the more he will get used to it. It may take a couple of weeks, but he will get used to it. And he will stop having melt downs.

Answer 4

Give him some time to get used to it. With the other center, they knew him and most importantly, he knew them. This center and the people are strangers to him. It will take time for him to get used to it.
To help the process, I wouldn't linger on with the goodbyes. I would make it quick and try not to show you are upset. I know it's hard, but it only makes it worse if he can see you are upset also. I think you are doing a great job!
Hang in there. It WILL get better. ((HUGS))

Answer 5

Children don't deal well with change. It takes them time to get used to a new place, people, etc. Try not to prolong it by staying TOO long, it just makes it worse. Just be supportive and loving and let him know you love him and will be back after work.

Answer 6

Just hang in there! Change is so hard for little ones but you just need to reassure him that you will be back to pick him up at night. Slowly things will get better once he realizes that you aren't deserting him with strangers. I went through this same issue with my daughter and it gets better!