Friend threatening Suicide. How do I handle this.?

Question

A very good friend of mine in her thirties, very pretty and vivacious person normally, has been having a lot of bad luck with friendships and especially with men. This due to the fact that she is not interested in them, and one in particular who has threatened her and is now stalking her. Sitting in his car outside her home till 1-2am in the morning shining his car lights into her bedroom. She has become paranoid and yesterday said she just wants to end it all. He has been at this for 4 days, and she is too scared to leave her home. What is the best way to handle somebody as emotional as this. Knowing her as I do, she would do it as well. I am desperate please help.

She has called the police. We are in Cape Town!. They said unless he has made contact with her they cant do anything. Doesnt seem right.

He also has friends in the police force here. I think this is why she is so scared. he is corrupt and a nasty piece of work. I am going to her now. She is crumbling.

Answer 1

Sorry to hear about that but first call the cops next time she sees him or especially if he sits there shineing th light at her house. SHe need to get control of her emotions and go out and don't let nothing dictate her life. She should be happy and enjoy life. ANd fro the stalker why haven't you intervene and talk to him. He shoudl be stopped now. And even if you need a court order to keep him away do it. But tell her life is precious and she shouldn't be thinking about that. AND also if she needs to go to a shrink, or just pray. But with her not doing nothing it will not slove the situation. SO you go to the guy and tell him if he doesn't stop your going to the cops and get a restaining order against him. ANd if he breaks it he goes to jai. But also tell her if she needs to talk about it she can or you can IM me anytime and good luck. And tell her if she does do it what will happen to all her friends they will suffer her loss tremendosly.

Answer 2

First thing is to call the police and/or file a restraining order to deal with the stalker issue.

The next issue is to get her some help. If she's actually threatening suicide, it's probably a cry for help rather than a serious threat - if she was serious she would just do it without the threats.

The relationship issues may be the result of depression on her part or because she's seeking relationships with incompatible people. Help her focus on knowing herself and developing friendships centered around common interests rather than a person she just met at random.

Answer 3

If your friend won't call the police...then you as her friend NEED to do that. Don't be messing around with someone like that who will sit outside a persons home, flashing lights into their room for 4 days......HE needs HELP so let the POLICE help him. Also, with your friend, she needs to go speak with someone...it's not as easy as it sounds as SHE needs to want the help. Just be there for her and try to convince her to go and speak with someone to get over her demons she's carrying with her..I'm sure it's not all to do with this one fellow stalking her...If she used to be "vivacious" and now is withdrawn and paranoid from everyone.....she needs to talk with a counseller or take her to the emerg and an outreach worker will come and speak with her to figure out how deep her depression is. GOOD LUCK*~

Answer 4

It can't be stressed enough. IF SOMEONE MENTIONS SUICIDE IT MEANS THEY HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT. And if its being thought about that's bad. Listen to her, talk to her, let her tell you all the reasons why she thinks this is a good option. Ask her about the repercussions. Does she have kids, a family, other good friends like you. You guys need to be with her and don't take what she says lightly. Check up on her every now and then so she knows that you care, make yourself available to her at all times if possible. Watch for signs like listlessness and a failure to care, esp. about her appearance. Notice I still haven't said get her a therapist. Therapists don't work if nobody cares. Maybe by showing her you care for her and what she does with her life will help her to start caring again, then... you get her a therapist. After that or somewhere in between get the license plate number of the stalker, his name and anything else she knows about him and call the cops.

When she gets through this help her find things to do with herself other than trusting men to make her happy and keep her occupied. Go out with her to places she loves, help her find a hobby or a course that takes up a portion of her time...And pray for her, she needs your prayers. Encourage her to pray for herself too.

Answer 5

First she needs to report this guy. Get him arrested. Second you as her friend need to get other people, friends , family and and crisis centers involved. She sounds like she is desparate and depressed. I would certainly take her threats seriously. I had a close friend ( male) who once told me how he would kill himself. He actually discribed the way he would do it. i told him to stop talking about such things and kindof laughed it off. He was not young either, almost 40. Well two weeks later he was gone. He did it. I was devastated and felt guilty for not believing he would kill himself. Believe your friend and get her some help now......If it is possible for you to stay with her, do it, the guy out side her house won't stick around if he knows she is not alone. Safety in numbers, remember? Once he is gone,get your friend professional help . Iam sure the guy outside is not her only problem. Good Luck

Answer 6

Oh no this is very sad news.
I hate ppl like that man who is trying to hurt your friend by scaring her. Well what are you waiting for man call the police and GET RID OFF HIM! after that problem is solved make sure yiur friend knows and i mean KNOWS that he's gone, and that u r here for her.
Next of all, it sounds like you are close to her. Pamper her and show her that you care--yes even by staying inside the house you can have fun doing childish things like baking cookies, pillow fights.
TRUST ME, nothing makes you feel more like living than feeling like a child. Most of all, follow your heart, help her, care for her, and love her.
Time is a great healer, but till the scars are gone, plz b there for her.
Thank you for hearing me out.

Answer 7

Unless there is a CapeTown somewhere here in the United States that I don't know about, we're talking about South Africa, which makes it very difficult to offer advice, since we do not know the laws there. Other than letting her immediate family know what's going on, the only suggestion I would have is to consult a lawyer there and get his advice.

Answer 8

If she hasn't done this already, she needs to file a restraining order against her stalker. Just let her know that you care for her and that if she chooses to lose her life, it will affect everyone that loves her. She will definitely need to talk to a counselor, or possibly you can talk to a counselor on how to handle this situation if your friend isn't stronger enough mentally to do so herself.

Good luck... I hope she'll pull through this OK.

Answer 9

First of all she needs to call the police. The only thing you can really do is just be there for her, maybe talk to her family. If you really think she will do it maybe try an intervention meeting with all of her family and friends. I hope everything works out for you and her.

Answer 10

Oh my God call the police, I can't beleieve she hasn't already. I feel for her it's such an awful vulnerable feeling. If you can't get her out of the house, get her to talk to a suicide hotline.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.

Why should I call the Lifeline?
From immediate suicidal crisis to information about mental health, crisis centers in our network are equiped to take a wide range of calls. Some of the reasons to call 1-800-273-TALK are listed below.
Call to speak with someone who cares
Call if you feel you might be in danger of hurting yourself
Call to find referrals to mental health services in your area
Call to speak to a crisis worker about someone you're concerned about
Find out more

Good luck.

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If that's the situation.... get her to leave her home until things settle down. Why stay and make it easy on the psycho to harrass her.