...when it comes to changing a spouse.I know God is the only person who changes people....but I would like to atleast motivate him a little to be more responsible.
2007-01-03 00:44:49 · 18 answers · asked by aprilblossom 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
lots of fish in the sea
2007-01-03 00:46:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
You be the motivator! The best teacher is the one up at the front of the classroom and not behind the desk. If you really want to help someone help themselves out of this character, the best thing for you to do is be the example and just fight the battle silently. Show them you're not the same way and stay busy and motivating. Good luck, and hope things take a turn for the better!
2007-01-03 00:49:51 · answer #2 · answered by HotInTX 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short answer... you can't.
Pray for the person. Communicate with the person. Tell him how you are feeling. Explain how his laziness is making you feel and the stress that it is putting on the relationship. If it is finances remove his ability to spend. If it is housework then deny him some sort of priviliege (but don't use sex as a weapon here...) You have punish bad behaviour and reward good behaviour. I know he is not a pet but the same principles apply.
Ultimately, the person has to be the one to make the change.
Kick him in the a r s e.
2007-01-03 00:50:26 · answer #3 · answered by Emperor Insania Says Bye! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What has been working for me is telling him instead of asking. For example "Today we are going to clean out the basement." instead of "Can you clean out the basement today?" Asking the question implies that there could be a myriad of different answers while telling him signifies that that is the plan and WE are doing it. It also helps, believe it or not, to have a schedule. My guy was just telling me the other day that he likes having a wee bit of structure vs. just hanging around, waiting for something to happen. Start small!
2007-01-03 00:53:29 · answer #4 · answered by latinadiabla_1976 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would start by trying to decide if your spouse is ill or depressed. I know two people who are like this, and they do not know, or will not admit, that they are in a depression.
Try to get your spouse to go to a doctor for a check-up, first. If he will not go---there may be little you can do. If it is not a medical case, he just may be lazy.
I'd bet my money on illness or depression.
2007-01-03 00:55:12 · answer #5 · answered by Shossi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you married your spouce for a reason, look to see if that reason still exists. Change your own translation of what you see now, and build up your own bonfire that keeps the marriage vitalized.
If you change your works, that might inspire him to be more responsible.
I kow Dr Laura has influenced many marriages with similar words. and many women call in and Say How great their marriage has become if they just changed their own perspective first.
2007-01-03 00:48:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Psychics say if a person bullcraps too much. The
Universe will put a BOMB under their Butt and motivate
them. Don't wait for that bomb to be ending up
homeless. It's very hard to get back up from that point.
2007-01-03 00:48:09 · answer #7 · answered by Hermes Trismegistus 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Baby steps.....it is hard to change a person and they want to change. I suffer from depression and for years did not want to even leave the house. My husband has been patient and now we go out evenings together.....starting with baby steps...be patient, loving and thoughtful :)
2007-01-03 00:46:42 · answer #8 · answered by Mazzy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
stop enabling him...if he does not do for himself than he does not have. Make him responsible for his own actions. Remind him that God placed man to be the head of his household and one day he will have to answer to God for that household
2007-01-03 00:46:45 · answer #9 · answered by Robert K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
regular schedule help people to be more active.
talk to him,and don't let him feel that u r advising him or giving him lecture. U can calmly explain him your point of view.
2007-01-03 00:52:10 · answer #10 · answered by ananya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Some people are naturally like that. The only thing you can do is accept the fact.
For your own sanity, simply tell him that you will no longer bail him out of situations that will eventually arise from his procrastination.
.
2007-01-03 00:46:50 · answer #11 · answered by FozzieBear 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋