Our 13 month old is in our bed!?

Question

Im not sure how we let it happen as i was quite strict with our first child that she would sleep in her own bed, but she never really put up a fight!
My husbands very weak with the kids and as soon as he starts to cry in the cot he gets him back out and we end up rowing while our boy happily falls asleep in our bed!
I know the usual advice, let them cry it out, but he gets so worked up that i get worried hes going to have an asthma attack, he even holds his breath on occasions when weve tried, which has lead to 3am A + E trips!
I dont mind him in the bed but ive fallen pregnant with my third so its only a matter of time before theres no room for him. My husband seems to think that if we tell him at two yrs that father christmas wont come unless hes in his own bed then he'll happily sleep in his room! Anyone got any better ideas!!!

my sons in his crib still so i dont think me and my husband can sleep with him! nice idea tho! Im only a couple of months gone and not showing so i dont think its risky sleeping with my son at the mo, plus he doesnt kick or anything he sleeps dead still, but obviously that is why im wanted to sort things out now.

Thanks everyone for ur advice apart from the person who told me to get a spin! Either your not a parent or just plain rude! I know its something i have to do now before it gets any harder, I have tried most things other than sending my husband away, i might try that! : )

Answer 1

My daughter had started sleeping with us when she had gotten a cold and then followed by teething around 6 months. We were worried about her sleeping alone, so she started sleeping with us. It then got harder and harder to get her in her own crib. We started out rocking her to sleep and then putting her in her crib. However, if she got up during the night, she didn't know how to pacify herself to go back to sleep on her own. Our pediatrician recommended continuing our nightly routine of bath and bedtime stories, then put her in her crib awake and sing a few lullabies, then tell her it's time for bed and leave the room. Doc said to talk in a firm but calm voice and be brief - don't stay too long and give her sweet baby talk. My daughter is a very headstrong girl. She fought me every step of the way, but little by little it worked. I would start out by sitting next to her crib and put my hand through the rails so she could hold it. I would sing her lullabies until she fell asleep. This was to get her used to falling asleep in her own bed. Then, to help her learn to fall asleep on her own, I gradually started leaving the room before she was asleep. I would let her cry for 10 minutes until I went back in. I would calm her down (without picking her up) and then quickly leave the room again. Each time I would wait another 10-15 minutes before going back in. It took some time and discipline on our parts, but it eventually worked. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Is there room enough for his crib in your room? If so, then there's no reason to put him in your bed. Put his crib alongside your bed so he's laying next to you. You can even put your hand through the bars to comfort him. Once he gets used to being in his own crib again, you can move him away from your bed, against the wall. Then you can work your way into putting the crib back in his room. If it doesn't happen until baby arrives, then you can have the crib on Dad's side and the bassinett on your side. Moving him to his own room AFTER the baby arrives will give him the idea that the baby is pushing him away from you, so be careful with the timing. Your room will be crowded, but everyone will have their own sleeping space. I wish you the best of luck...
Blessings

Answer 3

I had the same problem and everyone told me to put his bed next to mine in my bedroom. So we did and naturally he was against sleeping in his own bed but we worked through it with him, after all it was our fault for putting him in our bed in the first place. After about two weeks he was already used to sleeping in his bed and he even stopped the crying and fits. After a while he would go to bed on his own! For Christmas we bought him a bed room suit because just like you were having another baby also and needed to turn his toddler bed back into the crib. He loved his new bed but i was worried how he would take being in a different room. As soon as his bed arrived i put a new bedding set, the Cars theme and showed him how nice his bed was, he loved it! The very first night we put him in there he cried a little bit and wanted to go back to his old bed but we said "no this is your bed now". My husband sat with him for only a few minutes then kissed him good night and told him to go to sleep. Being persistent is very important. As long as you don't give up he'll learn and eventually he'll be sleeping on his own, hopefully by time the new baby arrives! It's going to be hard enough with a new born.

Answer 4

You may want to try sitting in his room while hes in bed. Then he wont feel as if he is alone. But you must make him lay in his bed alone. NO talking either. Just sit in a chair or on the floor. He may fuss a little but I doubt you'll get the tantrums that you would get if you just dropped him and ran. Then every night he will take less and less time to fall asleep. Eventually he will not need you in the room at all with him.
Good Luck.

Answer 5

Boy does he have you buffaloed. He knows just how to work you both and he is only a year old.
It is time to show him who the parents are and get him back into his bed in his own room...now.
If he holds his breath he will start breathing when he passes out...he wont pass out.
Put him in bed...kisses and a story and night night love ya. Walk out and let him scream it out....it works even if it is heartbreaking.
If your husband is too weak then tell him to go visit mom while you take back control of your lives.
Make sure you dont allow your new baby in your bed or room or you start this all over again.
Get a spine and become the parent.

Answer 6

I understand the place you're coming from. I surely have an eleven month previous that wakes up 3-10 circumstances a night to nurse. i do no longer ideas the nursing section, yet now and lower back the beating/punching/kicking interior the process the night are a difficulty LOL. i presumed i wanted to wean her from night feedings too, till she went on a 10-day nursing strike final month as a results of an extremely undesirable sore throat. each and every night of that 10-days she slept by way of with out waking to nurse. each and every morning I cried my eyes out approximately it! be careful what you like for, now while she wakes to nurse at night I cuddle her close, scent her candy toddler hair and prefer it better than something!!! Your toddler would be weaned quickly sufficient (whether it is yet another 3 hundred and sixty 5 days or extra) and while it is long gone, it is long gone continually. do no longer hear to those who say to wean her because of the fact she "has no choose for it", they for sure on no account nursed a toddler and don't understand the unique bond. in case you permit her wean on her very own I wager which you the two would be plenty happier interior the long-term. superb needs and congrats on breastfeeding!!

Answer 7

we kinda had this problem but it didnt start until mine was old enough to crawl out of his crib .. the only thing that worked for us is to make sure you dont give up and just keep putting him/her in their own bed .. YOU MUST BE CONSISTENT .. eventually they get the picture!!!
Ii know it is hard but you gotta stick with it .. good luck

Answer 8

u know one thing about parenting that i learned is that a child does not just throw a tantrum by screaming their heads off. they also hold their breaths until they pass out or they pass out completely. my son used to do this to me and it scared the heck out me.

i can only think of one way to do this without hearing his tantrums and that is to let him fall asleep with u and than transfer him to his own bed.

Answer 9

[do this on a friday night so you have time to catch on sleep on Saturday night]
If you and your husband start sleeping in his bed he will see his bed as great and will want to sleep in it too.
Once he discovers that the three of you won't fit in it he will say, "get out of MY bed"!
... fingers crossed my idea works for you.

Answer 10

so ur pregnant and the kid sleeps in the bed with yous, that's rather worrying....