My Boyfriend told me I'm Naive in relationships.....what's he trying to tell me?!!!?

Question

My bf thinks I'm naive in relationships, what does he mean?
And how can I make him think otherwise?! I don't want to come off as naive with him or he'll start taking advantage of me.
I think he might mean when it comes to how to treat a man.....cuz we had an incident where he didn't call for a while and I blasted him for it. And I think he's trying to tell me "If you want to keep a man, then you need to maintain the mental challenge and act like you don't care too much" But I'm wondering about your take on what he means....

I don't blame him for telling me this, cuz he's probs doin me a favour. I told him how I was used by my ex.

Answer 1

Maybe you aren't maintaining a mental challenge that he's after. Men do want to chase women, it's a natural instinct. Get on with your life, if he calls, answer act like you don't give a **** that he hasn't called you for a week, because you've had other things to take care of in your busy hectic exciting life. Maybe he does like you enuf to point out one of your bad points in a relationship, cuz most men wouldn't tell you, they'd just leave without giving their woman an explanation. Don't let him manipulate you either, if he points out an inconsistency on your part, give it straight back to him!. xx

Answer 2

I presume you are quite young. if that is the case there is bound to be naivety about relationships, and that is just normal. You learn from experience. It also sounds like your BF is a bit naive if he is trying to get you to play a "game" by pretending you "don't care too much". It sounds as though he would prefer the chase, more than the actual day-to-day trials of a real relationship.

Time teaches you many things, especially about dating. It also teaches you self-confidence so that you do not come across too needy in a relationship. Most men do prefer a woman who is self confident enough to be alright if her man doesn't call for a little while. I have also found that we women look at time differently then most men do. We think that a man should call us moreso than they think they should. If they don't call everyday or close to it, we think that is wrong. Most men just don't look at it like that.

With time, age, and experience, you will let go of the need to have them call exactly when you feel that they should. You will feel confident enough and trust enough in the relationship to know that even if he is traveling and can't call for a whole week or so, you will be alright. Think about it, what if he were deployed to Iraq or had some other circumstance where he couldn't call for a while, he would want to feel that he wouldn't be made to feel guilty about it when he can finally call you.

Good luck and hang in there. Take it from someone who has quite a bit more experience and age, you will eventually get there. No one will need to ever use "naive" when it comes to you and relationships eventually.

Answer 3

Don't overanalyze. He will take advantage of women's tendencies to overanalyze as well and manipulate you into having low self esteem.

Do not blast him. Do not get mad at him. Instead, if you really want to get his attention, start dating other people the next time he doesn't call for a while. That will definitely get his attention. If you don't understand this, then you are in way over your head with this guy. It's called playing the game, and right now, he is playing you.

Answer 4

Can we get over the cave man mentality for crying out loud. Good job, girl. I'm glad to see that their women who aren't totally naive when it comes to men. Don't let him call the shots. You have equal power here.

Answer 5

Hey,
I think he is trying to tell you that you don't know what to do in a relationship and that you have no experinece. He is trying to tell you that you have to play hard to get. Maybe next time instead of yelling at him for not calling you just play hard to get and act like you don't care. Just be like whatever and don't yell at him, but don't be nice to him. Just be like I dont care, and maybe he'll like it more. If you don't want to do that then just be more romantic towards him, but if you don't feel comfortable then don't do it. He seems like he thinks he is the boss, so personally, if he keeps this up don't fall for his stupid lies and dump him. I hope that helps, if you don't get what im saying just e-mail me and ill try to explain it.
Good Luck! ;)

Answer 6

I had the same problem. But I've given up on him. I'm not telling you to do the same, 'cause he might not deserve it like mine.
Let's see. Boys like edges in relationships. When you act like you don't care much for him, he will sense a difference in his life, a missing thing that he was used to.
Try to act, but...be careful! Drop him a eye sometimes, and talk to him only when HE comes to you.
Hope my advice helps you.
Good luck!!

Answer 7

Tell your boyfriend that instead of trying to "play the game" he should start being real.

Your boyfriend seems to be the inexpreienced one, it's those types of people who try to "play the game" and fail miserably. I'd rather not have a man than keep ones by being fake.

Answer 8

i fink he is already takin advantage of you by callin u that, if he sez it infront of his friends then they know what he means,* as in something may of happened which u hav no clue about n they fink your being stupud for not knowin*
if he sez it when ur alone, he doesnt fink ur a gd girlfriend, maybe he finks your selfish? selfcentred? not caring enough for a relationship?
i would suggest that u should put him in your shoes, go out have fun dnt do nothing stupid *obviously* dnt call him n see what happens, if he reacts the same way as u then u can throw it bk in face, but if he doesnt care one bit, maybe u need a more carin boyfriend who see's everything the same way as you do.

Answer 9

he is doing a favor on u
there is no such thng as favor in love or frndship
u have full rights 2 scold or shout at him
and if he is angry also let him be but nvr thnk tht he is doing a favor
if he is pressurising u thn select someone else
bcos evry person has to be caring towards anothr person

Answer 10

Dump this loser. Don't EVER let a man tell you what you are. And if he wants to play mind games, tell him to first get a mind (the one included in his penis does not count....)