I would really like to have more children and my boyfriend will be 40. He wants more as well but in the next year or so. I do want to get married before I extend my family but my boyfriend is really scared of commitement. Just a few days ago he emailed me saying,"I love you and wish we were married, Iwant you to have my children and I'm dreaming of our honeymoon together." Then when I asked him about it he laughed and said," who sent you that not me ha ha ha." I take it that he did'nt want to have that serious conversation so I left it alone but I know in the back of my mind ...he sent it. What should I do or not do? Seriously!!!!
2007-01-02 22:18:09 · 9 answers · asked by o'juiccy1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Seriously? He's playing games. He sent that message then made it into a joke. Bet you're just tickled to death! All the degrees and great jobs aside you need to have some common sense. Marriage and children are nothing to be trifled with. Either are your feelings. Your wants and dreams are valid desires. He doesn't seem to take you seriously enough so he makes fun in order to hide his fear of commitment. For starters you should demand an explanation. Tell him that you know he sent you the message. Furthermore he knows that he sent it and he knows that YOU know he sent it. So stop messing with your head! That's kid stuff and you're not going to put up with it. You don't deserve it and it's unbecoming of him to be acting like a jerk. Next, sit him down and have good long talk. If he says one thing but indicates another then maybe you are wasting your time with him. Then you probably need to put a hold on investing anymore energy into this relationship. You seem to be a well grounded stable person who knows what she wants out of life and he is plenty lucky to have someone like you in his. And it's OK for you to tell him this. You've more than earned the right to do so. If he can't appreciate what you have to offer or he can't handle the commitment then he should tell you and just be on his way. But from now on, one way or another, he better be up front with you; no more stupid pranks. If need be give him some time to sort out his feelings. Reassure him that you care what he has to say. Anxious, in fact. But whether he wants to or not he needs to have this serious conversation, SOON! This whole incident is still resting in the back of your mind and it isn't going to go away.
2007-01-03 00:30:02 · answer #1 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and try to find out why he's afraid of getting married. Maybe if you two talk about this thing together you can work it out. I don't think he's ready for commitment and enjoys having sex with a girl 10 years than he is and probably tells you what you want to hear so he can stay with you. Send him an e-mail saying you want to break up because you found a hot 20 year old guy who wants to marry you and give you children. When he asks you about it say ha ha ha ha, it was just kidding
2007-01-02 22:27:11 · answer #2 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-06 09:12:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yup, he OBVIOUSLY has a commitment issue.
He's playing games, can't you see that?
If I were you, I would NOT marry him. You can't assume and prove he sent that email, I'd leave that one alone! But I would suggest talking with a close friend for moral support cause I'm assuming that he'll just laugh in your face if you have concerns and have them brought up to him.....he sounds like he doesn't know what he wants because of the commitment issue that he seems to have.
lose the loser!
2007-01-02 22:25:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really think that he sent U this email and i think u shouldn't have other child befor marriage ur 30 and have 1child but 2get marry is somthing important ur kids will keep asking about there dad and i really think that haveing father make the child stronger with the personality and mentely and more happy , ur bf is 40 now how old he want 2get till he get marry and have familly and get stable he's life , you marry some1 who care's about you if ur bf say he didn't send u this email that mean he didn't even mean it when he wrote I LOVE YOU in the email , you really should get him into seroise talk .
2007-01-02 22:30:09 · answer #5 · answered by mohame 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste your time with a man that will not give you what you want in life you can do better, don't force him to do anything that he can't because it can come back to hurt you latter. Do what is good for and and get what you want out of life.
What he wants and what he can give are not always the same thing, stop dreaming and find someone with the same dreams that you have.
2007-01-02 22:20:26 · answer #6 · answered by jm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be married before you bring anymore children into this world. Tell your boyfriend that and if he wants to laugh and doesn't take you seriously than leave him.
2007-01-02 22:26:27 · answer #7 · answered by mamabag06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but he's just scared about it. try to keep e-mailing and that might lead to more conversations. start your conversations lightly, though. Start by saying what a wonderful time you have with him and how much you love certain things you do. don't just pounce on him with the marriage question.
good luck!
2007-01-02 22:26:50 · answer #8 · answered by julka323 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not make someone want to commit..It will not work..Have a talk with him one on one, tell him of you concerns...Hopefully you can get your problems worked out..
2007-01-02 22:20:53 · answer #9 · answered by Brenda Soooooooooooooooooooooooo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋