I went out to a party with my friend on New Years! We used to be close this time last year and ended up becoming an couple after last New Years which only lasted 2 weeks because he was not over his ex and was stressed out over a new job and taking it out on me . I finished it before we went slept together to avoid ruining our friendship. A few months ago we started to go out as friends again which we hadn't done for ages and after a good New Years we ended up having sex (Which was amazing) Now i can't stop thinking about him and want to tell him how i feel as he thinks i just want to casual sex with him as both of us don't want to get into a relationship! He is not into the casual sex thing as he knows people get too attached and i agree. I am scared to tell him how i feel and dont want to ruin our friendship through doing so. Please help!!
2007-01-02 22:03:33 · 25 answers · asked by Vamp82 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds a bit confusing. Do you know what you really want from this guy? If so speak to him about it and be honest...that's the only way to resolve this properly.
Not that easy though I know and sometimes ignorance is bliss and you can make up scenarios and outcomes in your head without it being real!!
If he is such a good friend then surely talking it through is a good idea? Good luck with it and I hope things are resolved really easily for you.
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2007-01-03 01:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by girly girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, realize that sex does not = love. Because you are just now feeling these things after you slept with him, I think it is most likely infatuation.
Imo, I think it would be good for you to sit him down and just have a hypothetical discussion about where your friendship is, what you both feel about you having sex and how you think it will change your friendship, or if it will at all. Then if that goes well, tell him how you feel, but don't go telling him you are in love with him. Love takes time, and if you have just slept with him, your emotions and hormones had taken over and you need time to come down from that high to see it as it really is. Sex is a very intimate and special thing, don't get me wrong. I just know from my own experience that Real Love takes time. You might care about him more, and be infatuated with him. Your attraction to him might be deeper now. If you still feel the same way in 4- 6 months then I would say you might be falling in love, but even then make sure you really are "In Love" before you just say it.
I was told "I Love You" after the first time having sex with the guy who is now my boyfriend. Back then, close to a year ago, I knew it was too soon for Love and that he was just feeling things because of the sex, not real love. I didn't allow myself to get pulled into that at the time. If I had, I would have been hurt real bad.
Use your own judgement too as far as if you can name reasons why you love him. If not, then it is just infatuation at this time. That is the first phase and it is good, just don't mistake it for love when it is so new, because of having sex. The infatuation will get less after a while, and then that is when real love and a good solid relationship should take its place. :)
Good Luck!
2007-01-02 22:22:29 · answer #2 · answered by foreverdark2004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you telling him the truth. Why play games? you know what you want, and if the sex was good, and you can't stop thinking about him, you have to do something. Just tell him how you fill and ask him if he's feeling you too? I mean you could wait to long and some other woman could snatch him up. And he would never even know what you were feeling about him. Life's to short, I say lay your cards out on the table and just hope for the best. What's the worst that could happen?
2007-01-02 22:14:51 · answer #3 · answered by Sha T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had sex. Your friendship has changed. Don't buy the line of "friends with benefits". either you are dating, or you are not dating. If you are not dating, then just act like friends and don't have sex.
If you like him, you have to tell him. If you don't want to have a relationship, or he doesn't, then stop with the sex!
He is probably on your mind because the sex was really good. If you don't end up getting together, these thoughts will pass.
2007-01-02 23:16:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anna K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as quickly as upon a time there grew to become into this guy who grew to become into so surprising to me, he ought to besides have been an angel who fell right now from the sky - an angel with a 5 inch tall mohawk and an surprising smile sent to make me snort, instruct me to sit down down back, and allow me understand that i'm enjoyed....i grew to become into in basic terms waiting to be with him for a quick time, then he joined the army and that i in no way even have been given to declare see you later :( i think of approximately him on a daily basis and desire that he's nice yet i understand he in all probability is nice, with the aid of fact regardless of each and everything he's an angel...
2016-11-26 00:21:02 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt really matter what you want as long as both of you want the same thing out of the relationship, it'll work out. but before telling him how you feel, you should think about whether he's gonna take his frustrations out on you again. if he does, then it wont last long, no matter what kind of relationship it is. and if you cant stop thinking about him now, and you let him do that to you all over again, you're gonna start regretting it sooner or later.
2007-01-02 22:12:12 · answer #6 · answered by dumb.doll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
best thing is to tell him in person. sometimes guys just say they dont want a r/ship becoz he thinks you dont want one since u ended it the last time around so just ask him and be straight up none of this hinting u ladies get up to some guys are dummer than u think lol
on that note
Good Luck
P.S tell him b4 he finds some1 else then u might really get hurt
2007-01-03 00:53:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It'll take a bit of work but from someone that has done similar in the past, your chances of long term success if you do get together are slim. But you might be the exception and you don't want to die wondering. But before you do, decide if it's love, not like and lust. If the former, give it a bash, ask him if he's interested in taking "it" further.
2007-01-02 22:09:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, look sweetie. you should definitely tell him....it looks like that's what your heart is telling you to do! If he doesn't know, you'll just keep suffering.
But this is the WAY that you tell him. Tell him what you want and not what you need. A guy hears the word "need" and runs. If it looks like he wants to fulfill your desires and what you need, then it's perfect!
however, if both of you don't want a relationship, don't tell him anything and occupy yourself with other stuff to get him off your mind. You should only go after what you truly want. It just seems to me like what you want is a relationship with him...even though you kind contradicted yourself in your question.
good luck!
2007-01-02 22:10:16 · answer #9 · answered by julka323 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him how you feel.
Whats the worst that could happen? You lose a good friend.
At least your mind will be a rest.
Just know that your feelings could be hurt, so be prepared.
Rule of thumb: never ask a question that you don't want to hear the answer too.
i.e. how do you feel about me.
2007-01-02 22:08:13 · answer #10 · answered by Guess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋