Stay-at-home mothers, how do you do it -- raising children?

Question

I salute all stay-at-home mothers for having the courage to raise their children and sacrificing their jobs hoping for nothing from their children in return. I have been helping my neurotic mother and abusive father take care of my nephew who is 2, and it is the hardest most annoying, unbearable thing I've faced apart from dealing with horrible family members, friends, neighbors and colleagues. How do you do it? I honestly want to know how you manage to keep your emotions in check and where do you get that unfound patience from whenever the baby cries for hours on end? Being a stay-at-home mom is indeed the most difficult job in the world.

I'm really touched by your answers, because I'm trying to come to some reconciliation with my mom who has been driving me insane for years... and having experienced helping to look after my baby nephew for some time made me wonder how stay-at-home moms deal with noisy babies or kids and still feel emotionally balanced, because my nephew has a habit of screaming for hours and hours and it's incredibly a tedious task to try to pacify him.

I'm really touched by your answers, because I'm trying to come to some reconciliation with my mom who has been driving me insane for years... and having experienced helping to look after my baby nephew for some time made me wonder how stay-at-home moms deal with noisy babies or kids and still feel emotionally balanced, because my nephew has a habit of screaming for hours and hours and it's an incredibly tedious task to try to pacify him.

Answer 1

The only thing I can say is to make sure you have a little time everyday to yourself. Even if it's just a half hour in the bathtub. Also take a little time each week to go out by yourself. It makes a world of difference to get out of the house once in a while.

But the thing is, babies only cry like that when there is something wrong. A parent has to use trial and error to figure out what is wrong. Hungry, tummy ache, misses mom, whatever.

Good luck, I wish you all the best.

Answer 2

Going off your additional comments:
While you don't give any info on your mother's neuroses, it could be that she isn't cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. A lot of people do what they think they should do rather than what works for them. I think many moms are afraid to say that staying at home drives them crazy sometimes or most of the time. I look at my family history and think my grandmother must have been terribly depressed when I hear stories of how she acted when her kids were growing up. My mom is loving but has never been very mom-ish - no cookie baking, stopped doing my laundry when I was 11, etc. Too many of us think that there is only one right way to be a good mom. I think to be good moms we all need to be more honest with ourselves and with others. I love my children with all my heart but they are not my entire world. I need more than my kids can give me.

I am sorta a stay-at-home mom. I am currently taking college classes as well as being with the kids. I would go nuts if I had to stay at home with my kids all day with nothing else to occupy my mind. I love my kids but crave time for myself. They go to preschool 5 days a week for 3 hours a day. Today, I don't have school so I am just reveling in the time I have to myself. I will be glad to see the kids when they get out of school but that doesn't mean they won't be driving me crazy later. I wish I had more patience!

Answer 3

No ones going to tell you that it is easy being a stay at home mom. It's a lot of emotional stress and a lot of hard work but just when you think your at your whits end they give you a smile, hug and tell you that they love you. That is the best thing in the world. And yes you do get alot from them. The joy of them growing up and being raised the way you want them to be instead of the way a daycare worker wants. It's the hardest but most rewarding job in the world.

Answer 4

Giving up my job to be a stay at home mom was no scarifice - being a working mother would have been the sacrifice! I have wanted to be a Mommy since I was a little kid. I have just always had a lot of patience with kids, and always worked with kids. It can be very tough to be a stay at home mom - taking care of my daughter (who will have a little brother in a few months!), cleaning up the constant mess, cooking, cleaning house, paying bills, grocery shopping, all sorts of neverending tasks. But everyday I take an hour that is just for me to relax and enjoy myself. And it is not true that stay at home moms get nothing in return - we get unconditional love from our children.

Answer 5

I am a stay at home mom of 3 kids, ages 5, 3, and 2. It is not easy! I don't think I have much patience left and my emotions a lot of times are out of control! The house is always a mess, the kids always getting into things. But just when I think I can't take anymore, the look at me and say the funniest things and it makes it worthwhile. Kids are hard work, but they are hilarious.

Answer 6

Well, the reason we do it is because we DO get a lot from our children in return - well-adjusted, polite, disciplined and loving kids. The bigger picture is why we do it, and that is being unselfish and mature, knowing that raising a family is the most important, albeit hardest, job there is. Thanks for recognizing it, and all the sacrifices and hard work is worth every minute. There's nothing to match the wonderful rewards!