Having great difficulty in finding the one...... have found lots of almosts but never anyone that is perfect....
I am comprimising alot now...... but should i comprmise and lower my standards..... ?
2007-01-02 20:39:06 · 38 answers · asked by Fox Hunter 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't lower your standards too much, but all relationships have some compromise there really is no perfect person as we ourselves are not perfect. Decide what you will or won't compromise on think about where you want to draw the line, what is most important to you.
Don't lower your standards too much or you will end up resenting the person in the long run. And that is not good for anyone.
2007-01-02 20:44:38 · answer #1 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never settle for 2nd best because you will never respect 2nd best.
You will never find a perfect wife. There is no such thing. You are not perfect and if you found one then she would be with someone 2nd best. So forget this notion of finding a perfect mate. Instead focus on finding an excellent mate. Now bonehead, you don't do that by dithering with less than excellent mate potentials. While you are "lowering" yourself with these 2nd bests, Miss Excellence is no doubt waltzing right by you. If you want an excellent mate, then you will have to wait for her. If you don't wait, you don't get. It is that simple. In this I WANT IT NOW generation, I give it .01 % that you'll wait. No you will settle for 2nd best and be and make miserable you and your mate. Wake up bud. After the sex, what is left? You want that? Time for you to make a decision and stick with it. Might even take some cold turkey discipline. My, isn't that a sore thought!
2007-01-02 20:57:46 · answer #2 · answered by pshdsa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly there is no such thing as perfect. It sounds as if you have impossible standards that absolutely nobody will ever be able to meet. Are you sure you're not afraid of commitment? It seems to me that you set impossible standards so that no-one will ever meet them & you never have to get close to anyone. Relationships are all about compromise, give & take, loving someone because of their faults 7 not in spite of them. The sooner you realise there is no perfect the better & you need to deal with your own issues. Ultimately though, you should never just settle for second best or you'll never be truly happy. You should always be true to yourself. Good luck !!
2007-01-02 21:24:20 · answer #3 · answered by EmmaB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your own value ? Are you of less value that you would lower your standards ?
Think if you lower your standards. Now imagine waking up next to that woman some years from now ? Can you visualize and feel what would be in your soul and heart at that moment because you lowered your personal standards ?
You mentioned the one " that is perfect " . . . Perfection is boring. Seek one who balances with your heart.
And as far as finding all those " almosts " . . . While dating, a person is not only discovering what they want, they are also discovering what they don't want.
2nd best . . . Would you want a woman to ' settle ' to marry you because she settled for 2nd best ? Well, don't put a woman in that position in marrying her.
The truth of your heart is too precious not to be patient for . . . patience...and never ' settle '.
.
2007-01-02 20:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by onelight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what feels right for you, if you feel like the current option is second best, then you'll never be truely happy in the relationship, and if you do settle for second best, it wont take long till you take second best in every catagory, such as desputes; your feelings about a situation are voiced but not actioned against, and youll accept this. Life choices; she may decide to want to buy a house or have a family, and you'll just go along with it without thinking if its what you really want. Make your choice wisely my friend.
2007-01-02 20:46:43 · answer #5 · answered by Need_to_know 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't compromise, this will only stop you from being available when "the one" finally appears. Also imagine how your partner will feel being "second best" while you wait for "the one" to come along!
I can only gve you this advice, which happened to me. Stop looking and the person will find you. I decided I wasn't having any more boyfriends after a few bad spells, when my now fiance turned up out of the blue. We've now got children and are getting married next year! Wait and try not to worry about it - it will happen! Good luck !
2007-01-02 20:51:01 · answer #6 · answered by JoJi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if your looking for perfect you will be sitting on a shelf forever. Set your standards high but don't expect perfect or you will always be let down. You are looking too hard and expecting too much. Relax enjoy life and things will happen for you. You will know.
2007-01-02 20:42:59 · answer #7 · answered by holliemay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think of your partner as second best, then that relationship will never work long term.
For a relationship to work out long term, you have to consider yourself to have got the better end of the deal...to be the lucky one to have found such a good partner. Your partner needs to feel he / she got the better end of the deal too...and is the lucky one to have found you!
Try not to over analyse the situation, and don't be too critical of prospective partners early in a relationship. Relax, try to enjoy yourself and don't get so heavy about it. As soon as you master this, you'll find the perfect partner.
2007-01-02 21:23:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well lets see. No one is perfect. Why are you compromising? Why should you lower your standards for the almosts? If there are three things you cannot live with. You know the things they do, that you don't llike. You shouldn't settle. Be picky!
2007-01-02 20:45:03 · answer #9 · answered by CURTIS TERI C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make sure what you are looking for is real. You should not lower your standards, but maybe change what you are looking for, make a list of things that are really important to you and don't comprmise on them, but there are things that are somethimes less important and you can talk about those things.
2007-01-02 20:41:51 · answer #10 · answered by jm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋