I've dated this girl for about 3 years. I at one point a few months ago, thought about breaking up because she was getting a bit crazy. I had my doubts and so during that time I started emailing other girls. A few weeks ago she logged into my personal email account (she knew my password) and found all the emails. I never did anything with the girls...I didn't even call them. But she was really upset and says she it's going to be hard to trust me. I still really care for her and love her a lot but I don't know if this is going to work anymore. She not only logged into my email accounts but also all my cell phone online...which really irritates me but I still love her and think we can get through it. What should I do? Is it possible to win her back? Help.
2007-01-02 19:23:16 · 17 answers · asked by James W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It depends on what you mean when you say she was getting a bit crazy.
2007-01-02 19:26:06 · answer #1 · answered by john 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once the trust is gone its extremely hard to get it back. I think you should think about whether you want to win her back or not. If you do then the next few months are going to be hard for you but there is a good chance that you will win her over. After going out for three years there is a strong connection between you two that will be hard to break. I guess it all depends in what the emails said. Now this is going to be extremely stressful for you and you should think about whether or not its easier and better for you to just finish it and move on.
2007-01-03 03:31:08 · answer #2 · answered by pmthen30 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what you mean by getting a bit crazy, but it doesn't sound good. Especially if you felt the need to back off and talk to other girls.
However, love is love, and if you feel like you can put up with her craziness (and now lack of trust in you) then I say you should take her out to dinner and movies and have a long talk about your feeling, your likes and dislikes. And tell her you would like to know the same about her.
Best wishes...And change your password!
2007-01-03 03:33:16 · answer #3 · answered by puddingirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think you can win her back. Just be completely honest about everything with her. I understand why she is so upset - and you need to be patient with her if the two of you are going to come through to the other side of this together.
It's most mportant for the two of you to talk about WHAT specifically led you to seek the company of other women online. You need to discuss WHAT was the crazy behavior that bothered you - and WHAT she can do to make things better on that front. If you work TOGETHER on this, your relationship should be able to weather the storm. When you identify the WHAT - the HOW will fall into place on its own. Good Luck!
2007-01-03 03:38:28 · answer #4 · answered by Moxie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you still have a chance. Tell her that she can look at your cell phone and email anytime. Act calm and she will not think you are guilty of anything. What you do mean by crazy? She is not looking for a reason to break up, do you think? Probably not, but just thought I would mention it. Good luck.
2007-01-03 03:40:49 · answer #5 · answered by Maddie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she invades your privacy the way she did, without your permission, I'd say move on and find another girlfriend. She has no right to invade your space. It's like digging through your dresser drawers in your bedroom looking for something to nail you with. It's an unhealthy relationship, my friend. You can have her as a friend, but I wouldn't really get serious with her anymore. She will be a thorn in your side because evidently her trust for you is non-existent. But if you really love her, you need to tell her a few things. First, don't invade your private spaces. Second, she has to trust you, and that goes both ways. Third, she needs to grow up. If she objects to this, I'd say "see ya".
2007-01-03 03:30:14 · answer #6 · answered by gone 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you shouldn't have attempted to make friendly chat with other girls even if it's completely harmless, as those other girls might think otherwise of your intention of mailing them. plus, it suggests to your girl that you're getting bored with her and wants to get to know other girls. if she emails other guys, i'm sure that's how you would feel, right? instead of doing this, you could have sat down with your girl and have a heart to heart talk to solve the problem (your doubts). you merely complicated the situation. i understand that having spot check done to you by others is annoying be it your girlfriend or parents, but she just wanna give herself assurances that you aren't cheating on her. unfortunately your actions gave her insecurity. only time and your actions could prove that you really care and love her, only her.
2007-01-03 03:28:27 · answer #7 · answered by Melody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
James, I'm having trouble with your question. If she is upset with you it must mean she has feelings for you. If she truly likes you, then ask yourself is it really matters what she has seen. If she doesn't like you anymore, then she doesn't like you and you should move on with your life. We all have private lives, even those of us who are married. The test is whether we are committed to each other. Are the two of you committed to each other? Ask her, ask yourself. If you get two positive answers, talk about it and move on together.
2007-01-03 03:28:41 · answer #8 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can she say she cant trust YOU when it was HER that went into YOUR private emails?
How can you trust her?
Do you really want to be with a girl who will be breathing down your neck every second of every day?
2007-01-03 03:30:55 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste your time thinking too much on such issues. This is an usual fight between you two. Talk to her, talk to her clear and solve all issues by frank talk. Anything more than that is pure waste of time and energy.
2007-01-03 03:28:58 · answer #10 · answered by Infinite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋