should i let my teenager drink in the house?

Question

i was wondering what people think about me letting my son/daughters drink in the home. the youngest of my kids is 16. I know that they are going to drink and it just seems like it would be better if i let them do it at home with me there to supervise. Wouldnt you rather you're kid and their friends pass out drunk with an adult to help them or at some random kids house where everyone is wasted and there is no one to help? WHat should i do?!

Answer 1

NO!

Why not try being the parent? Who is raising who?

Who has the authority? If you gave up your parental authority long a go, don't start looking for respect now!

You can get attention quickly when you start taking things away!
Don't want to listen, Trash the computer and put it in the trash can! Daughter don't want to listen, take away all cloths except what is on her back!

Got a big mouth, stop giving out money! Assign and DEMAND that house chores be done, with YOU working with them.

Slam the door, take the door down, (Off the Hinges).

Stop winning and start being the ADULT, (PARENT), even though it is a bit late! If they threaten to run a way, or leave home,
tell them they don't have to run and remind them where the door is. No, you don't get to pack a bag, you keep what is on your back! Too, if they go to anybodies house, call the police since they are supporting juvenile delinquency!

You ain't mad, this is strictly child respect, parent authority!
Your business! You might want to try TAKING CARE OF IT!

Answer 2

While I understand your logic, you really can't use it if you are to be an effective parent. Remember, you are their parent, not their friend. Even if you know they are going to do something illegal - immoral - dangerous - or fattening, it is still up to you as the parent to set the standards (a line in the sand, so to speak), and they will have to understand consequences of crossing the lines. By using your logic, I suppose you are going to let them have their boyfriends/girlfriends/sexual partners come over and sleep in their bedrooms, since you know they are going to do it anyway? Would we really all be better off if our parents had been our pals rather than our parents?

Now, don't get me totally wrong. I have let my 16 year old drink a beer on occasion (like Superbowl Sunday), or a glass of wine with dinner, but I would never supply alcohol and a place to drink it for him and his friends. That is illegal, and the liabilities are outrageous - - the other parents could sue (or worse) if something bad were to happen. Also, I am very open with my kids about sexuality, and of course, I have informed them of the importance of condoms and contraceptives, but I won't go out and buy it for them. If they are old enough to have sex, they should be mature enough to walk into a pharmacy and take care of it themselves.

Nothing good can come of condoning teenagers drinking until they have "passed out drunk". Our goal is to teach them responsibility and self-reliance. Substance abuse in any form is the antithesis of those goals. Give them the impetus to get a job and their own place to live where they can be as stupid and as reckless as they want to be. Then, when they f*** up, your conscience will be clear.

Answer 3

Your logic isn't totally unfounded, When we were growing up my mom let us drink at home, for the same reasons you do, it made sense, what you need to do is show them the consequences of abuse, ( passing out is a major problem ) If you bring them up right you shouldn't have a problem, my sister and youngest brother grew up in the same house with me and they don't touch alcohol,( personally, I love the stuff), so in the end its up to your kids and directly related to how you raise them.
Its good that you're so involved in thier lives, but you need to make it clear why you do what you do, and that even though you are a friend you are primarily a parent.
You have good instints, and that underage drinkin' talk is not really valid, ask any one when they had their first drink.
Its about character and control. They're testing their limits , you have to show them where they are.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Well, it is hard to say what I would do if I had kids, but I agree with you somewhat. I think it is fine for people under the legal age (especially in the U.S. with its highest drinking age in the world) to drink, and I personally do drink, but I would think you would discourage drinking to the point of passing out. I have seen many people grow up in various conditions from drinking with their parents to their parents attempting to ban alcohol completely. From personal experience I have seen that people that learned about drinking from their parents have healthier drinking habits than those who were "prohibited" alcohol by their parents. If you were to say "no drinking" then that increases the chances that they will drink with most kids. I do see what you are saying when you would rather your kids and their friends pass out in your protection, but I think the solution is to teach them better drinking habits so that they don't pass out. I personally think that a 16 year old is old enough to drink.

As for your kid's friends, I personally think I wouldn't want to accept the legal responsibility of them getting drunk on my property, but that is me, if you have no fear of legal repercussions then that isn't as much of an issue. Just know that the law is pretty strict in that regard.

Also, not all people choose to drink. I know several people that have been offered many times, sometimes forcefully, that have turned down so much as a sip of beer and still haven't while nearing the end of college and still going to parties.

Answer 5

I can see both sides. I think it is smart to supervise your kids drinking and I even think that the US should liberate the drinking laws to allow 16 + to drink with their families in moderate amounts. But under laws you are technically supplying a minor. I really wouldn't chance giving liquor to your child's friend either. That is just playing with fire, and law suits. Just continue to use your best judgment.

Answer 6

Hello everyone.......we're talking about underage drinking. If you think that's OK, then you've got a real problem. Sure, go ahead and teach him how to be an alcoholic. Good mom! Send a note with him to school and let them know your kids have permission to drink at home before class. Send a note to the police officer too, so he'll let him/her go after stopping them for DUI. You're going to regret your decision.

Answer 7

you'll be teaching your kids that the law does not matter. you should be the responsible parent here and teach them there are consequences to their actions and if they drink at home or someone elses home there will be hell to pay. when i learned my daughter (15 at the time) was allowed to try a vodka drink at her best friends house i forbid to to go there again and if she wants to hang out with her it will be at our house since the parents there could not be trusted. at age 16 her ex-best friend now smokes pot and they are no longer friends because of it. she gave up her very best friend of many years because she doesn't want to live that life. she loves life, is not a depressed child does not have stress to mask therefore has no use for mind altering substances. my daughter did not get into trouble for having her first taste of alcohol that part was expected to happen sooner or later instead we talked to her about the dangers of drinking while her mind brain and body were still growing and how easily she can become an alcoholic starting so early and coming from a long line of alcoholics. she also knows that if drinking/drugs is going to be a part of her life she will not have driving privilages, an allowance or any other freedoms that will enable her. i got a dui right before her getting her license. it had been 5 hours since i drank. i almost did not tell her of it but thought it could be a learning experience for her as well. she drives me to my dui classes and this first hand experience has kept her from taking even one sip since. she is quite a homebody now since some of her friends have discovered partying and the only ones she hangs out with are just as proud to say they are alcohol and drug free. they hang at our house. her choice. in return she gets enough privacy when they are here to satisfy us both and gets to pick the entertainment and foods etc. they can stay the night. male or female. they are supervised and have 0 opportunity to get in trouble. i sleep on couch if boys stay so no chance of hanky panky. we keep 0 alcohol here. it is hard hard work to keep your kids out of trouble. allowing them to dis-obey the law and drink as a minor is only helping them to get into trouble. if you know they will drink and pass out at someone elses house do not allow them to go to that house. simple as that. i have never allowed my daughter to just "hang out" on the streets she needs a particular place to be. movies bowling shopping etc. and i do check on her even at 17. although they can sneak a drink there its harder . give em a few good choices and options and compromises and that usually is all they need to stay clean and happy. allowing them to party at home where it is safe is so wrong on many levels. alot of danger in that idea as i have learned in my class plus you are open to lawsuits if a friend drinks with them.

Answer 8

If the drinking is in moderation it's okay . You are correct, they will drink anyway. I don't think you should party or drink with them because there is a possibility your children and their friends will loose respect for you. (it sounds like you wouldn't do this, but just in case) It's sounds like you really care, so you probably have good kids anyway.

Answer 9

i agree with ur view of being around to supervise ur children and lettin them drink in the house.. its better for them to have someone there to help them and to stop them when is needed~ rather than havin the teenagers out on the street drank ...

Answer 10

a lot of the alcoholics I know started that way.
Let your kids know that drinking to the point of passing out is just plain not cool - and not what it means to "have fun"
Having fun and throwing up are not synonomous - its pathetic.
Good Luck