I'm 41, and my wife plan on moving out of state for the change of scenery, more reasonable housing costs, and new career opportunities. I have been living basically in the same general area of southern California since birth, and I'm ready for something new! But, there is a part of me that feels guilty about moving away from my parents. The are in their mid-70s, but in good health. I feel like I should have moved away a long time ago, and now the window of opportunity is closing because they are getting older. Any advice?
2007-01-02 17:29:29 · 16 answers · asked by Randy V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My advice would be that if you and your wife have similar thoughts, for awhile now, about moving out of state, and have possibilities of a career move, then do it! If your parents are in good health, they can always come to visit you. It sounds like you are a good son and care about your relationship with your parents, and who will take care of them. Maybe you want to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with you and your wife present when you do. Just make sure it is what you want, you know the area, the jobs, all of it, before you go telling them or talking to them. They'll be fine. Any other siblings that will be nearby who can help them if needed? Or even offer if they want, and you all are close, to move with you, as in live near where you and your wife will be moving to? Just a thought, don't know your circumstances nor your wife's thoughts. It is about your life, your family too and we are to do the best we can and enjoy our life, so go for it!!! I know that once our youngest has graduated high school, life is going to change. Will be moving out of state and on to a lower housing, lower electric, less traffic, all of it, am very much looking forward to it all and have most of my family right now within a half hour or so of me/us. So, you have to do, what you have to do! Be happy!
2007-01-02 17:40:39 · answer #1 · answered by Laurie S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I lost both parents. One in 1994 and one last year. I am 43.
My advice to you, is to move and enjoy your life. Your parents are blessed with good health right now and that is wonderful. With the internet, cell phones, etc., there should not be a lack of communication between you and your parents. How do your parent's feel about it? I am sure they want only that you are happy. If you can afford it, why not obtain housing that has an extra bedroom in the event your parent(s) need to stay with you for any extended period. That would also reassure them. Good luck and enjoy yourself. Once you do, it will become home and second nature after a while.
2007-01-02 17:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to live your life and do what is best for you and your wife. You sound like a very nice son to be concerned about your parents, but you cannot miss an opportunity to better your life because of them. They would probably agree with that. Try to visit them often after you move, and have them stay with you, also. And if they ever need your help, perhaps they would consider moving near you.
2007-01-02 17:35:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anniesgran 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say that it is wrong to move away from your parents because you have your own life to live and I understand that you have your own family now too, but considering your parents are in their mid-70s. Maybe you should reconsider on whether it's more important to live the life that you want...or to live with someone you care about...considering...your time with them may be limited. Moving to another state can always wait a few more years right? But that's just my opinion...hope I helped a little...even though i dont' have my own family yet! Good luck and happy new years!
2007-01-02 17:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by 2Quinn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am also 41 and hate leaving my family and friends, yet my job makes me, well, I did join them, so it is my fault too... I work for Delta Airlines and have to be relocated every few years. I love the new scenes and the new friends I make and the nice thing is I never lose my true friends at home, so, move on and have a blast. Your parents are healthy and can visit you and then they can also enjoy the new views they may never get to see.... Go for it!
2007-01-02 17:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not if there ok w/out you, your a good son for being so concerned, just keep in touch frequently,it would be good to have a trusted friend or relative check on them weekly more or less for peace of mind but other than that you're an adult as are they, live your life, they are!
2007-01-02 18:16:32 · answer #6 · answered by pink00kiton 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should feel free to do whatever you wish with your life. If your parents need you after that then maybe you could arrange help for them or move closer or back. But never allow guilt to hold you back from creating a life for yourself. For this reason does a man LEAVE his mother and CLEAVE to his wife.
2007-01-02 17:34:02 · answer #7 · answered by MeHurdu 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most parents move away to Floriday in thier ripe old ages. They may live another 15+ years each. Pack it up. Come back if they get very ill.
2007-01-02 17:32:42 · answer #8 · answered by C J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it over with your parents. They may give you their blessings to move.My boyfriend wants to get married and me move to Florida and my parents are happy that they can come visit or live with us. Our door will always be open to them. And if they need me I can fly to them. But you are afraid they will need you and you won't be there.My parents are in their mid 70's also and how many years do you have left to be with them? I feel for you. Good luck
2007-01-02 18:22:03 · answer #9 · answered by gabeymac♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm 28 but my Dad is 80 & my Mom is 63. I don't have any desire to leave and want to stay with them. but then again they are not in good health like your parent's are. still if i were you i would stay nearby or at least visit often if you move.
2007-01-02 17:33:00 · answer #10 · answered by Sleepyguy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋