What Should i do about this?

Question

okay, before i get into details i just want to thank everyone who actually has advice for me.
So im having a long distance relationship (which is impossible, espically for kids my age) and things at home arent so well for me. We have some troubles and stop talking for a while, but im so madly in love with her that i just cant stop talking to her. So I try and make things work again, but she tells me she screwed 2 (a lot older then me so tough competion) guys numerous times while we didn't talk. And im young and still a virgin and she used to be. I love her so much, but that really hurt me bad, espically since she always told ME that she would always love me unless i had sex with someone else. She blames most of it on me saying "I thought we were never going to talk again" but we always seem to.

what should i do? should i still love her and work things out or leave her?

thanks if you actually read this whole thing and if you have some good advice.

okay, before i get into details i just want to thank everyone who actually has advice for me.
So im having a long distance relationship (which is impossible, espically for kids my age) and things at home arent so well for me. We have some troubles and stop talking for a while, but im so madly in love with her that i just cant stop talking to her. So I try and make things work again, but she tells me she screwed 2 (a lot older then me so tough competion) guys numerous times while we didn't talk. And im young and still a virgin and she used to be. I love her so much, but that really hurt me bad, espically since she always told ME that she would always love me unless i had sex with someone else. She uses this "I thought we were never going to talk again" (but we always seem to.) for what im guessing to be an alaby or to blame me.

what should i do? should i still love her and work things out or leave her?

thanks if you actually read this whole thing and if you have some good advice

Answer 1

It is always hard to understand the entire situation, but from what you're telling me, shes not worth it. She sleeps around THEN blames you?!

I can always tell you that there are plenty of fish in the sea, or that you're young and you're hopelessly blinded, but instead I'll try to offer some insight ...

Ask yourself. Would you say you are a confident individual? Are you secure in yourself? Would some girl be lucky to have you? (instead of you being lucky to have some girl? that this girl is your everything and you hope she'll let you be nice to her?)

I'm gonna guess and say you'd answer 'no' to those questions. Well, think about it. If you answered no, it means you don't see any value in yourself. If you don't see any value in yourself, how is someone else supposed to?

What I'm trying to say is that guys will get fixated with one girl and never figure out why. I think its because they're not really that confident and they'll do anything for a girl, because it will make them feel better that someone likes them.

Well, girls don't like non-confident guys, and confident guys don't get crushed when they break up with someone that isnt even nice to them and sleeps around.

So just try to talk to more people (nothing romantic or sexual) and the more comfortable you are in social situations, the more confident you'll be and the more you'll see how 'trying to love her and work things out' with a girl who mistreats you isn't worth your time - because you should be happy about who you are, and if you start thinking that a girl is lucky to have you (instead of the other way around), you'll find yourself a happier person.

I say leave her behind, because from the looks of it she clearly isn't the right girl for you. Work on being more confident, and who knows who else is attracted to it. Maybe someone worth it. =)

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear about your sadness. You don't say how old you are but I guess mid-teen or so. Is that right?

There are several things here. First, your heart loves who it loves and when it loves and you can feel love and it's real no matter your age.

Then, even though you can feel this love and longing, the timing can be all wrong. Or in the long run, even the person can be wrong for you but you don't see it at the time.

Seems like she is going about her life and going out with people and having sex.

Meanwhile, you have some troubles at home and you're very upset and distracted by her.

Personally, I think that you should allow yourself to mourn this lost relationship, this relationship that wasn't, at least for her. Take your time and I promise you the pain will lessen over time.

Get busy with hobbies, with school, surprise your family, do fun things. Keep a journal - you might get a song, a poem, a story, or even just something to remember out of it. After awhile, when your heart has recovered some, you might find some other girl you like.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

She told you she's been with two other men right? Okay...First was there a CLEAR understanding between the two of you that you were a couple? If so, she's an idiot! If your not a couple how can you expect her to put her life on hold so you can grow up to catch a plane to go see her? When your talking to someone, it doesn't in any way, shape or form make you a couple...thats funny. Unless perhaps your telling each other that you want each other and miss each other...Im even confused? Does one consider it cheating if your telling a guy that on the phone that you hardly talk to? In my opinion no because there's no clear understanding of a relationship. From my personal experience i would NEVER expect some of the men that I've talked and flirted with and vs versa not be with someone else. But I might be wrong you know your relationship way better than me. Good Luck, and she's probably too old for you...go explore...have fun while your young

Answer 4

I am so sorry... NOW, did she really fool around, or is she trying to make you jealous? Next, if she really did fool around then it is time to let it go. You can always love her, but you have to let her go - #1 you deserve better #2 she is obviously at a different place in her life #3 you need to find someone who TRULY has the same values and beliefs as you, or you will never be happy #4 find a nice girl in your area that you can actually spend time with- and I'm not talking about over the phone conversations.
If you are truly meant to be together, then you will be, the time is just NOT NOW. You need to discover yourself, explore your world, and learn to live without this poisonous relationship in your life. Good luck!

Answer 5

Ok one if you are long distance and are too young to move to be with each other, move on with your life. you can still be friends, but it won't work. And she not waiting on you. 2 even if you are old enough now to move or vise versa, if you cant get past that your not her first its not gonna work. 3 long distance can only work for a period of time, like 6 months, a year, and you have to be will to forgive things, and mostly be honest with each other, because some one has to make a big leap of faith and most people are to scared to do that.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to tell you this but dude.. you're better off without her. Learn to let things go. She's not worth fighting for and remember 2007 is a new year, so out with the old and in with the new.

Answer 7

Seriously, seriously, I've been here, its hard, but you got to let it go. Don't talk to her, don't try to work it out, your young, there are plenty of fish in the sea, I promis as much as it may hurt now it will get better, plus I promis, with that story you can get laid! Been their, swear. Just find a good friend and your favorite drink for the next week, then move on with your life. Sucks, deal, sorry.

Answer 8

Well she's got a double standard and thinks it's OK for her to do something hat's not OK for you to do. Blaming you for it is immature.

I think that's wrong. But I also think that until you two meet, there really is no sense in committing to each other. I think you should take a step back and rethink the whole thing.

Answer 9

You are way too young to be worrying about love and being in love. You need to enjoy life right now and not worry about this girl long distance. My suggestion is to stop talking to her. Meet someone new, hang out with your friends and do the typical teen stuff.

Answer 10

You need to stop communication with her---you are obviously at different points in your lives. This is actually a good thing--you got to see what her reaction would be before you got seriously involved.
Just give it a little while and you will be able to see her differently---not judge her but see how different she is from you.