how to do I make two cats get along?

Question

I was recently "adopted" by a large male cat who is extremely sweet. Unfortunately I already have a cat who is, well, not sweet.
She attacks him at every chance - he out weighs her by 15+ lbs and has claws but has yet to go after her. I am at my wits end with all the howling and spitting. I have already bought "Comfort zone Feliway" and it works well on the male cat, he’s even more mellow now but the female seems to be getting more bold and aggressive. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I brought a female cat home and she immediately went after the other cat. This has been going on for 3 years. The other cat has started to fight back and the mean cat is now being chased by her own kittens now that they're bigger. She's fine when they sleep back to back w/ her but I've tried to bring them together and pet them at the same time and show that they're both important but doesn't work. She wants to be the only cat; that's just how she is. Thankfully there has not been any bloodshed that would break my heart.

Answer 2

Your female is getting more bold because your male is getting more submissive. The catnip gene is latent or dormant in many cats; this most likely includes your female. Please stop the nip until the socialiaztion-bonding process has calmed down, and the hissing is an occasional thing, as opposed to an every day thing.

Bringing a sweet male cat home will not make the female any sweeter. And generally, most male cats are more affectionate than the females.

So we've established a personality pattern for your female and male; and I agree with other answers that the introduction was probably done too quickly. Also, it probably wasn't done on neutral territory (next time you adopt an animal, carry the alpha in a carrier to the pick-up site of the new animal, so the first encounter will have no pre-established teritorial overtones).

What to do next?

Show a preference for the alpha in front of the beta. This will reinforce her role in the group, and she will not be so compelled to fight for dominance. Show your affection for the new boy AWAY, and out of sight of the old girl.

Limit interaction as best you can between the two. Increase the time as they progress.

DO NOT break up any fights. This is between the two cats, and your involvement may increase the females aggressive stance. Just make sure the younger cat has a place to hide; and if he does hide, the likelihood that she will keep him in hiding by barring his exit is high. It's just a display of dominance, like everything else.

Try rubbing a SMALL amount of fish oil on the back of the neck of the male, just above the shoulders. He will not be able to clean it off, and she may enticed by the smell to get closer, and groom him. It may take several applications (do it no more than once a week). Know that this could be a bit odorous--but it has worked for me previously.

This could go on indefinitely, so be prepared. All new cat introductions in my house have gone 50-50, with usually the females being the more obstinate.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

just going to have to give them time, you just threw a male into a environment where a female is used to being the only cat, and got all your attention. i suggest petting them at the same time when they are close together or giving them treats at the same time in the same room so they can see each other. they'll figure out that no one is the more loved cat. but give it time, it may take a while and it will take a lot of consistency on your part.

Answer 4

We've been adopted by dozens of cats, and the most you can really do is break up the fights and discipline the instigator.

Maybe a communal catnip heap? Everyone gets along better when there are drugs involved!

Cats are teritorial. We've only ever had one pair of unrelated cats that would actually play with eachother, and try to get all four of our current residents in the same room. I laugh at your foolish attempts.

*and before someone jumps down my throat for having literally dozens of cats come through our house, only one of them died and only two have wound up at shelters. none of them were cats that got pregnant while living with us, and the one that did die died while getting sterilized*

Answer 5

I experienced a similiar situation a few years ago. My sweet boy, perched himself on a box and my sassy girl tried to get him. I would sit on the floor next to her while she hissed and eyed him up. I would pet her, and talk to her and get her to calm down a bit. Then I would pet him with the other hand, while I talked to them. I would let her smell my "boy cat" hand and she would get worked up. They weren't best friends right away. But they learned to get along. Now they are super lovey-dovey. My advice: keep the attention on both of them. Don't pay more to the other, that will provoke more jealousy and territorial issues. All in all, just try to give it time. It took us less than a week. It will work out in the end for you and your cats. Good luck keeping your wits about ya! Vodka sometimes helps :)

Answer 6

Ho, boy, If you figure this one out, let us know! My partner and I tried everything mentioned and more for 5 1/2 years to make our two sweetie cats get along. We love and spoil them. They each have a pile of toys. They get petted at same time a lot. They have individual bowls, beds, pillows. They don't care. They fight anyway. Luckily, no bloodshed, an uneasy truce, but clearly disdain for each other--for years now. Perhaps truce is best we can hope for.

Answer 7

I think you introduced them too quickly. When I moved in with my bf, I brought my male cat (he owns and female cat - both cats are fixed). I kept my cat in the bedroom for a couple weeks, and let them play footsie under the door and meow at eachother. Once or twice a week, we'd introduce them to eachother for about 5 minutes....and then separated them. Did this for about a month. Now they get along pretty well....or at least they tolerate eachother.....

Answer 8

you could put them both in kennels and let them face each other and feed them treats or give them whatever the cat likes and they will learn (after time) that good things happen to them when they are near each other

Answer 9

over time they will get along
the cat that attacked feels violated so it expresses it buy attaking the other cat

Answer 10

you may find that they are working on who is 'alpha' and who is 'beta' (yup you WILL need to help the female to learn that beta doesnt mean beater!)

once that is established then they may get on better but that will take time