The girl (23) is very mature for her age, a college grad, has a good job... has been through alot in life... always lived w/father so is def not seeking a parent, she wants to have a family one day and a loving husband
The guy (43) chose the career path after the military in hopes he'd find a wife somewhere along the way... women he'd been with cheated.. he took time to figure himself out and what he wanted and focused on work. now owns a house and has a good stable job and wants a family.they both agree on many things, life, children, relationships, love, have some of the same friends... The girl is friends with his mother and two brothers, helped move him into his home and set up/organize it. There is a flirtation between them nothing more than friendship... the girl wants to wait till marriage or engagement for sex and the guy knows this... could this become a good relationship/marriage?
2007-01-02 17:17:33 · 28 answers · asked by mk2004 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
20 years is a tough hump....by the time she is his age he'll be looking for his Social Security. 20 years makes a generation.....they belong to different ones.....this will be tough after a few years of marriage.......
2007-01-02 17:21:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For how long they have known each other to be able to "agree on many things, life, children, relationships, love" that takes years to figure out? And what a girl of 23 years of age can possibly know about life, no matter what she has been through?
Those are just the thoughts that came first to my mind. You really do sound very, very young.
From what I have seen, well, I saw three families like that, they all failed after approximately 5-10 years of living together. Mainly because the girls felt emotionally neglected. Mostly because the guys who are 20 years older are simply not as fun to be with, the emotional levels are way too different. Maybe your experience will be different.
Whatever you decide to do, the absolute mistake will be to not know him in sex before marriage. This will be the biggest mistake you can ever make. Most men that have never been married before their 40's have some sort of sexual dysfunction (low sex drive). The reasons that they commonly name for not being married for so long are : "he took time to figure himself out and what he wanted and focused on work. now owns a house and has a good stable job", exactly what you have said. You are young, and that is why you will not understand for a while that when a man takes about 20 years of his life "to figure himself out" and "decide what he really wants", and by the end of that time he makes a conclusion that what he wants is a 23 years old girl - something is terribly wrong with that man. You are too young to understand the previous sentence, but I really hope you will at least try to.
In your situation, if you are really in love (!), the best thing to do would be to live together for about two - three years, and see what he is really like. Most likely, by that time you will want to get out of there. Just remember, you have a college degree, you are a very smart woman, and you cannot be emotionally controlled and manipulated. You will be needed this re-assurance to get out of there on time.
2007-01-03 02:01:54 · answer #2 · answered by OC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Age ain't nothing but a number... till you both get older and he developes ED and you're still ready to go. I say that more as a joke than anything else...
The age dif will do nothing but seem to get smaller over the years. Nobody freaked out when my grandma married a man 12years older than her when she was like 30 but everyone had a fit when I started dating a guy 10years older at 16. They had just cause, though. But serious, it seems like a big deal now, but that's because aying that you're only a little more than half his age sounds bad, even though it's not.
You're in your 20s, which is beyond the ages pedophiles look for, so you're in the clear. I'd say give it a shot and good luck, but if you see that it's not working out, and he doesn't, end it for his sake. You've got a whole 20more years to put yourself backtogether than he does.
2007-01-03 03:00:28 · answer #3 · answered by mandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that they are on the right road. Love is strange thing. Some or willing to do anything for it. If they feel that is where their life is taking them then they should more on up to the next step. One Life, that is all we get. One. A great age difference and different life experience. Some much that is different. But love can conquer all of that . Now can the kids see dad in his old age and bring how the girls to meet him before his bedtime. Just kidding. Bottom line. Love is what it is. If you are in love, true love then don't ever stop loving each other.
2007-01-03 01:27:04 · answer #4 · answered by freesample1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe so as long as you guys can understand that age does play a part in a persons way of thinking.. i am 25 and have been married for almost 8 years, even though it is OK at times i still feel like i want to be a teenager which causes some disagreements. if the guy is good to you and will still let you wonder a little it will probably work out just fine. 23 is still young you may find yourself still trying to find yourself at times but so long as he is willing to be there for you i am sure thing will be great.
2007-01-03 01:28:39 · answer #5 · answered by Dallas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe in love has no age limitation but I also believe in the phrase "We will grow old together". I would be careful if the age thing stressed too far apart. If this girl is serious about this relationship and really believe in "death do us part" thing then she should fast forward 17 years from now. She would be 40 years old at the peak of her life. He would be 60 years old and on his way to retirement. Hopefully he will still be in good health but what if old age caught up to him and he is not doing too well. Would she willing to give up her career to take care of him?
It might sounds a little selfish but that is the reality. My friend married her college professor while she was attending college. They are still happily married but she is working so hard to take care of him as she is approaching her 60th birthday and he in his mid 80.
Good luck.
2007-01-03 01:43:19 · answer #6 · answered by steve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear 23 year old, your I understand you are very mature for your age but you are still growing, learning, and changing. As mature as you are, you will reach the point in your life and think back about how young and immature you we're. If you're worried about the age gap take things slow and don't forget the novelty will ware off sooner or later.
2007-01-03 01:34:38 · answer #7 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only the girl 23 and the guy 43 knows for sure.
2007-01-03 01:20:03 · answer #8 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a relationship made in heaven! Personally I always liked older men because of their maturity and class (so to speak). I don't think there's anything wrong with the age difference at all!
2007-01-03 01:24:52 · answer #9 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would for the most part say no, but if she want to wait until marriage and he's ok with it you got a real chance. The one thing you didnt say was if you argee on God. Most 23 who want to wait till marriage do it because God, and if you dont believe in that together it often wont work.
2007-01-03 01:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can always work, as long as the two people put their best foot foward...but that is a lot of age difference...Military men are pretty hard to live with too...but generally love does win out. need to make a list of pros and cons...good luck
2007-01-03 01:22:43 · answer #11 · answered by Brenda Soooooooooooooooooooooooo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋