I firstly would like to thank al of you to ans me on my question earlier, but i would like to ask for guidance, i have 3 kids and have been married with him for the past 15 yrs, i really love him alot, i do want to go thru any divource , i know my hubby loves me too but what to do he has this weakness, y cant as a lady and as my friend she has this heart to do this to me and her hubby, i am lost and going thru a lot of mental stress and sometimes scared that if i nag or ask my hubby he may choose to leave me where will i go without a job and how will i survice, i feel like killing her and kill myself for making a happy family of mine to this state. man are amn but as a lady she shoudl know she is married with 3 kids also, now that we are no longer young. i consider myself not good looking and i am fat that's y i cant get man , nut i am also not interested and i m very faithful to my hubby.
2007-01-02 16:58:15 · 15 answers · asked by susan r 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't blame her, it takes two to tango. Your husband is just as much to blame. You need to confront him about this. Find out why he felt the need to cheat on you. A little counseling is in order here. The marriage can be saved if you are both willing to do a lot of work. After 15 years of marriage things can some times get a little stale. Communications need to be worked on and a little spice put back in the marriage. Get some counseling it helps so much.
2007-01-02 17:08:28 · answer #1 · answered by sunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry, but I just could not understand what you mean. I hope I do not get this wrong. If I am right, you husband is seeing a married woman. the other woman and your husband are cheating. The other husband knows nothing about this and you do. The other lady has torn your family apart, and your afraid to confront your husband about his cheating, afraid he will leave you and you have no means of support and no experience working. You have always been a stay home mom. You should never even let the thought of killing her and yourself go through your mine. If this is the case, you need to call her husband, let him know what is going on and for how long. You have very low self esteem, which I suspect he has played a big part of you thinking that your not attractive anymore. You are a mother, your beautiful to them children. Since when is a person , not a good person and attractive just because they are fat. The heart is what counts. As far as supporting you and your children, if you go through with a divorce, he will have to support them kids are go to jail. you can get assistance through Human Resources to help pay bills and feed your children. they will also send you to school and train you in a job that you can do. Instead of being miserable, letting this happen, start checking around and getting all the information together, then kick him out. You will love a chance of pace, out of the rut, meet new people and gain back your self worth. There is also free lawyers. If this is happening, and he want straighten up and go to family counseling, get you and your children a new life. Not only are you worth it, but them children really are. Children senses a lot, do not underestimate that, they could just end up being a lot happy also. I hope I got you meaning right, if not, I am sure going to feel bad about this. Otherwise, if I did. Your worth more than to put up with that. First call needs to be to that other womans husband.
2007-01-02 17:15:01 · answer #2 · answered by m c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, You do have legal rights. when u file for divorce you do get child support and alimony, so that is no problem. however. if you feel that you want your marriage to succeed then you must get yourself in better shape, join a gym or buy a treadmill. start loosing weight and feeling good about yourself. You will look hot in no time (No fried foods plus 20 minuets of treadmill or cardio a day. no carbs as in breads potatoes. pastas after 7 pm, no excuses) You Will get your hubby back (or any man) in no time.
Get going, woman, no time to loose.
2007-01-02 17:07:04 · answer #3 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all he could have been a man and came to you and let you known that he was wanting to move on it seems you are blaming her and letting him off the hook love yourself and don't let no one make you feel the way you feel look you were married to him for 15 years and i am sure it will be hard to move on and you and your husband may be able to get past this but you cant make him want you there may be another path for you to follow you have three kids and they NEED you but you don't need your husband there is a way and as far as you being fat i am a big women myself and i have a wonderful husband get a grip and love yourself and spend time with your kids trust me they will make you strong good luck
2007-01-02 17:11:03 · answer #4 · answered by amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No excuse for cheating, but you say you are "not good looking and fat," as if that is out of your control. Perhaps you could bring some passion back to your marriage by taking better care of yourself.
Absolutely do not tolerate his cheating. Tell him he needs to break off all contact with this woman and if he does not, leave him. It sounds like you only want the marriage for safety and security.
2007-01-02 17:02:26 · answer #5 · answered by schweetums 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe the lady has the same weakness as your "HUBBY' if thats what you want to call him. he's got you where he wants you. you may as well get a good hobby to pass all the lonliness you may be about to face. unless he has had a sudden cure from this weakness. give him another chance is all fine and good but dont play it down for him and hold the lady responsible for both of them. one timers dont have finances together as u said b4. u need to b giving out demands of expectation not kissing up. but whatever, he's your "HUBBY"
2007-01-02 17:25:53 · answer #6 · answered by sdwhippie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right now where your husband wants you, thinking the way you are, stuck...You can stay in the mess and lose you mind, or try to get out and salvage you well being and you children's happiness..Your husband will do what he is doing as long as he gets by with it...throw a divorce and child support his way and he may change his tune...I have been where you are, you will stay a victim as long as you choose to...
2007-01-02 17:05:28 · answer #7 · answered by Brenda Soooooooooooooooooooooooo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well susan i went through smething similar like 2 years ago but instead of another woman it my my mother in law that was in bewteen our marriage. my hsband has a week mind and he is very gulible . andshe had a way to manipulate him to leave me because im no good. i know she dint like ever since day one that i was dating him. i beleive is cause of my religion im christian and she is catholic. well what i actually did is that i asked him the question first . if he wanted the divorce so he said yes. so we got separated for like 2 months. it was so hard because we have a 6yr old son. but through out all that time he realised that he loved me and missed me and our son. i had lots of advice from other married and divorced women. what i can say is that maybe if you were to get separated from him to think . he needs to get his feelings together maybe he is also confused. but of job honey i was on the same position as you. maybe if you were to get a job and fix yourself a little bit more maybe he will se that you want to change your life. men do like a women that works and thats powerful and strong and maybe your husband is one of those. pray alot to god and tell him that your marriage is in trouble ask him for lots of courriage and strengh for you can go on for your kids. dont let that woman win what belongs to you. maybe she is going through the same problems with her husband she also has hurt her family, think twice before you do something thats not worth it. have some dignity for you and you kids . dont ever let no man to put you down . even if he is everything you love your children and your dignity as a woman is more important right now. so i advice to to seek god and your family for support. pray and dontgive up becuse prayers have powers belive me it works. now im happy back with my hubby. ;) good luck and god bless you . xj
2007-01-02 17:16:03 · answer #8 · answered by ❤נαcкiε❤ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to ur hubby why does he want a divource ? Also tell someone about your stress. Don't forget that you should talk about ur feels to ur hubby.
2007-01-02 17:04:05 · answer #9 · answered by forever_starrie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU TRULY NEED TO LEAVE THAT LOSER. You are denying yourself and your children and happy life. YOU WILL find love again. (everyone does) Get some counseling and find a way to stand up for yourself. If you continue to let this jerk walk all over you that is what he will do. You will find yourself sitting there when he walks out on you.....DO IT FIRST!
2007-01-02 17:04:43 · answer #10 · answered by xovenusxo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋