this is the 5th time we are breaking up,and the problem is whr to settledown ?he stays in Uk and am in US..he doesn't want to leave his place and don't want to leave mine..we met in med school in one of the carribean islands and fell in love with each other,and now nothing seems to work .i don't wanna leave everything and go a completly new place.wat should i do ?
2007-01-02 16:42:47 · 12 answers · asked by unknown 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Decide whether or not he is worth it. If you TRULY love him and think it will work, then maybe you should move with him. Your friends and family will understand. Also if you are a doctor (I'm assuming) then you can afford to fly to the U.S. to visit. Good Luck!
2007-01-02 16:46:29 · answer #1 · answered by jasam4ever08 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are G.U (Geographically Unacceptable) to each other. Sad. If neither of you is willing to relocate - then it's a bust, honey. Move on.
When I was 28 I was on the east coast and I met a man who soon moved to California (not as far as U.S. vs. UK - but still quite a distance). We said our goodbyes and tried to move on. I had no intention of moving - and he was definately not hanging around the east coast for me. I really missed him - and knew the relationship was worth the move. I left my family - job - friends - all of it. We only lasted about 6 years - but I've been in California for 20 years now. Can't imagine being back east - because I love it here so much.
You have to weigh it up. Is a relationship with this man worth moving out of the country? Would you have to change jobs? How badly would you miss your friends and family? Is he offering marriage? (because if not - there is the whole citizenship thing to consider) If he is not willing to move to the U.S. for you - are there other things that he will not do for you? Is it a give/take 50/50 relationship - or will you resent him after you're there.
If you've already brokien up 5 times - my gut tells me that it's really not a great fit anyway. What does your gut tell you?
2007-01-03 00:55:24 · answer #2 · answered by liddabet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fist of all, finish your education. when you sacrifice something that fundamental as YOUR FUTURE for another human being there better be a very good reason for it other then this shaky long distance relationship.
Make sure that you do what is good for you first. He is just a guy. what will happen when you are there in the UK doing his dirty laundry, while he becomes a Doctor and finds a sexy nurse? your life will become so bad you will regret the day you were born. Finish your education. get a steady job. do not negotiate your identity. I lived in London England for two years. They have NO MORALS OR BOUNDARIES AT ALL. don't fall into this trap.
2007-01-03 00:50:15 · answer #3 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its obvious to me that you and your boyfriend need to break up. You are in a long - distance relationship. They never work!! Its the 5th time!! Once you have broken off the relationship it need to stay that way... NEVER take the other party back. As you said.... "nothing seems to work".... to me that right there is a sign that the relationship is over!! Its time for you both to move on. Obviously this person isn't right for you. Take some time to be on your own. Find out who YOU are as person. When you have done that... And are happy with yourself again... Then check out what's out there! Maybe Mr. Right is also looking for his Ms. Right!!
Good Luck!!
2007-01-03 01:02:18 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love requires compromise. If you really love each other like you say you do then one of you have to take that step. When you love someone you are willing to die for them, and if you are willing to die then you should defiantly be willing to move. I think the real problem here is you are not sure if you love him enough to change your life for him. And that's OK. You need to look into your heart and think about what life would be like without him in it. If picturing him out of the picture doesn't break you then you should probably move on. And if it does break you just pray about it and then discuss your findings with him.
2007-01-03 00:49:48 · answer #5 · answered by Native and Beautiful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u guys were to just end up being friends u'd feel relieved after awhile and soon things will get better for u to move on. or either u tell the person how much u love em and that u have to b with them, unless u really do. if u dont, no stress just let it go ull find recovery.
2007-01-03 00:50:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby, if you've broken up 5 times already, it's time to cut your losses and move on. It's obvious it's not working. Furthermore, how can you maintain a successful relationship if you can't even compromise on where you should reside. Cut the ties, Honey, and admit it's over.
2007-01-03 00:49:33 · answer #7 · answered by "Princess" Laya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it work... maybe... that's alot of rearranging to do. lol
(No but seriously maybe you should get in touch with family and have them help you find the means to make a new start where you are living now or move back to the United States. I think either way you're going to make alot of sacrifices. God bless)
2007-01-03 00:46:00 · answer #8 · answered by gravytrain036 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5th time breaking up?? maybe you should just stick with being broken up. it's obvious things aren't working out. you need to find someone else that you are more compatible.
2007-01-03 00:45:24 · answer #9 · answered by holyitsacar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both can't come to a compromise, then I guess there is no point. Right? When people care about eachother they make sacrifices...
2007-01-03 00:45:10 · answer #10 · answered by TalkingTomato 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋