The guy I am with says really sweet things to me, he tells me he loves me, he buys me nice little gifts and flies me out to see him until we can live closer to one another ($500 round-trip ticket, by the way, and he's not rich). He says how wonderful he thinks I am and how I am the type of girl that any man would want to be with for a long time. He's introduced me to all of his friends and family...
But at the same time, he forgets to call when he says he will, he never admits when he is wrong, and he recently didn't call me for a month. This was after I told him I loved him for the first time, which he said "changes everything" because he said he thought I would never say it. But he didn't even apologize for not answering any of my messages in the past month.
He wants me to fly down and see him soon, but I am confused. Whenever I talk to him about it he says he loves me, of course. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Or is his behavior strange?
2007-01-02 16:40:00 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, you are not making a big deal out of nothing. This has flashing red lights all over it:
1) He's flying you around for $500 a pop and can't afford it.
2) He can't admit he's wrong ("sorry" gets stuck in his throat).
3) He doesn't do what he says he's going to do.
"... is his behavior strange?"
Actually, I think your behavior is just as strange. Don't you think this relationship is a little bizarre?
Take some time off. Don't accept anymore rides on the big airplane. Find out more about this guy from his friends, past and present. Something is weird here.
2007-01-02 16:45:37 · answer #1 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
His behaviour is strange. Or maybe he just got caught up with some stuff and couldn't call you or return messages. Maybe he's wierd in a way where he likes the distance as it gives him a longing feeling for you when he does decide to see you. - But on the other hand, you are not there just to satisfy... But honestly, the only way for you to really know what is going on, is to ask him yourself and to get him to tell you, one way or another as every relationship is different for every couple and what might work for me in my relationship may not work for you etc. - So my advice... Ask the your boyfriend to explain. - Tip: don't ask him after sex, or when you finally see him after a while cos when a man wants sex, its like a switch that is turned on and he can only focus on doing and saying anything he thinks will earn him what he wants -sex.
Good luck.
2007-01-03 00:51:30 · answer #2 · answered by U2 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would ask you how long you've been dating him for? That's a big factor right there. If it's been a while, he just can't forget to call you for a month...just doesn't fly ;) Saying to someone that you love them in my opinion is HUGE. He might have been very well scared off when you said that. Maybe thats why he hasn't called, have you tried to call him? And if he wants to see you if he means alot to you, you need to go see him and talk. Good Luck
2007-01-03 00:57:26 · answer #3 · answered by laura k 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you love someone you couldn't let a month slip by on purpose without talking. The fact that he didn't return your messages should tell you he is playing you. He may feel the things he says when he says them but he might be telling other girls the same thing. Don't let him pay your way. If you want to see him pay half or all of it yourself. Maybe pop on over without letting him know to see what he is really up to.
2007-01-03 00:44:41 · answer #4 · answered by LO! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To be honest, he may not know what he wants. im sure he has feeling for you at the same time he dosent make the time for you. Sweet talk is just talk, i wouldent spend much time with him if he dosent do the simple thing that are needed in a good relationship. yea he may fly you in but its all the little action that count not sledom big actions.
2007-01-03 00:46:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
yeah, he's totally playing you. not calling for a month?
$500 really isn't that bad considering if you lived nearby he'd have to take you out once or twice a week anyway. that adds up pretty quick.
don't waste any more time on this guy.
2007-01-03 00:50:19 · answer #6 · answered by dbf1999 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should confront him about this. Tell him sincerely what you feel, ask him why he won't answer your messages and such. Tell him that you really, really appreciate all that he does for you, but you're confused about what's going on. Communication is the thing that seems to be lacking a bit.... Make sure you communicate.
2007-01-03 00:45:42 · answer #7 · answered by ♡♥ sHaNu ♥♡ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a long trip to take to see someone you are having doubts about. I would keep my eyes open for someone else who lives closer so you can check out his credentials. While he is paying for these trips, you must be feeling like you owe him which is tricky business.
2007-01-03 00:43:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If youre honest with yourself, you may see-- even if you love him-- that you are as tight as you'd like. If you think its harming him....talk to him...and if his behavior is strange...then, if you are not fulfilled, get out...your choice...Good Luck!!
2007-01-03 00:45:29 · answer #9 · answered by eazyboop 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
His behavior is very strange. It's possible that it wasn't meant to be.
2007-01-03 00:46:17 · answer #10 · answered by confusedsoulonearth 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋