Why are people so quick to call Child Protective Services?

Question

This scares me. Now I want to move away from my neighbors in case one of my children is heard screaming because she is told no. I don't want to go to the grocery store with my children in fear that a bruise on my daughter's leg gets reported. It scares me that I am the one who was pregnant with my children. I'm the one who has sacfificed for my children. I am the one who gave birth to my children. Yet CPS can come in at any time because someone who has never had children decided to put their nose where it didn't belong. My brother in law has been trying to get his children back from foster care for a year and a half. His wife was murdered and he was accussed. DNA was found on her that wasn't his so he was acquitted. Yet he still has to fight to get his children back? A good friend of mine had her two children taken away when her boyfriend's brother decided he didn't like the way her kids behaved. Because of this man she wasn't even allowed to be with her children for Christmas.

How is this right? Once your in the system, it's harder than hell to get out. My questions about this are; why are people so quick to call CPS and why does it seem that false accusations get more notice than true allegations?

I do remember something that happened when I was younger. My little brother and I were playing "golf," at the babysitters with a baseball and a tv antenea. He missed the ball and split my head open. I was told I didn't have to lie to cover for my mom and that I knew my mom hurt me. I remember them trying to put words in my mouth to make my mom out to be a child abuser. It's not so unheard of.

Answer 1

I know exactly how you feel. I read a story in Reader's Digest about a family that had their children taken away because the doctors accused them of child abuse. The only problem was they were innocent. Their baby had a defect that made her bones brittle and would break sometimes from just picking her up. Nobody would listen to them for something like 2 years. The sad thing was that the person their children went to did abuse them. This person didn't bath the baby, change her diaper or her clothes. She had burns on her and horrible diaper rash and CPS wouldn't do anything about it. Their solution was to cut the supervised visits with the parents. They finally got their children back but it ruined their lives.

Kids have easy with punishment nowadays. My grandparents used the wooden spoon if the kids got way too out of control. I always hear my aunts and uncles talking about it. My grandma only had to show it to me once and I knew what would happen if
I kept it up.

Now parents won't even discipline their children because they are scared their children will be taken away.

Answer 2

I agree. I've thought a lot about this. I don't work for CPS nor do I personally know anyone who does. I've heard from others that they run very extensive screening of children. If there are physical signs of abuse (which could be anything from the way the bruises appear to where they are located on the child's body) obviously, the child would get taken away. I've never known either of my boys to have been bruised (badly) on the backside of their body--neck, back, butt, back of the legs..etc. This is one sign.

It is scary that someone could have just a vengeance and call CPS. I believe though (maybe I'm being naive) that if you aren't doing anything wrong they know you are innocent.

Before calling CPS I'd have to be pushed a long way into suspicion OR seen the abuse with my own eyes. For example, if I were to hear a child getting hit and then crying--lets say every night for about a month--I'd start paying notice and investigating a little on my own. If I heard a lot of verbal abuse from a home I'd be quick to become "nosey." Why? Because if the parents aren't looking out for their children, who else will? I feel as parents we need to protect not only our own children but other children.

It’s important to keep an eye and an ear out. To protect my own self I talk to my neighbors on a regular basis. When my son reached the age I felt comfortable with him “crying-it-out” I talked to my neighbor about it—she couldn’t hear him crying but I felt it was important for her to know. I think if we maintain a regular basis with those who live near there should be no cause for worry—this way you are also covered if something comes up.

I really fear people take it a step too far but I also think there are people out there who are trying to do best by kids but make mistakes.

Answer 3

People are so quick to call because unfortunately some people don't deserve children. I'm sure if you take good care of your children and don't neglect them you should be fine. Of course there are good parents who suffer because of the bad ones and those I truly feel sorry for.

I've actually thought of reporting someone I know. She sleeps all day and feeds her children whenever she's good and ready. That's usually junk food for breakfast at about 12:30 in the afternoon on the weekends. The children are usually late for school and she forgets to pick them up sometimes. Then she never help them with their homework. They're always below grade level in school and one has already stayed back. Every year they go to summer school because they're failing. Then on top of that, they show many signs of emotional/psychological problems, and they frequently get home from hanging out and dragging the kids along as late as 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, including on school nights. Then there was the time the new-born baby was hospitalized with pneumonia after taking her to an amusement park at night in the fall, and then a few months later contracted a rare disease from an AIDS patient.

People like that definitely don't deserve children and make it bad for the rest.

Answer 4

raiseing kids is hard. and having fears like that is normal expecially if u have been around cases where kids have been taken away. how ever they dont just take kids away with no evidence of abuse, neglect, sexual crap, what ever. There are people out there who have nothing better to do but judge others and nit pick on stupid crap and i think that is dumb, but i appreciate the ones who are genuanly concerned for kids when they honestly feel there is an issue. Just make sure u are doing ur best at all times and try ur best to be the best mommy u can be. Ur children are the most important gifts u have and should never be taken forgranted. Id freek if i lost my kids, but im doing nothing wrong so i have no fear. I pray the best for u and ur kids but if ur kids are being abused in any way i do feel they should be evaluated and the proper steps be taken. I do think u are being a good mommy and this is just a fear from what u have been around in life. GOD BLESS YOU

Answer 5

You can thank the mandatory reporting requirements. there are some states where EVERYONE is a mandatory reporter. You can also thank CAPTA, passed into law in 1974. It is the law which gives federal funding to the states for foster care ect. You can definatley thank the laws that require states to allow anonymous reporting to a hotline which violate our sixth amendment rights. This also gives anyone the ability to make bogus calls on a family that they may just have a gripe with .Most people think that they have nothing to worry about if there is nothing for them to hide but speaking as someone who has been falsely accused by mandatory reporters of abusing my special needs kids three times I know better.

It is really the luck of the draw. If someone reports you , you could get lucky and get an investigator who is really alltruistic and will see that you are not abusing your child,or you could get a power tripping nasty investigator who would rather take the kid first and ask questions later. There are investigators who will make a huge deal over having dirty dishes in the sink or a pile of laundry in the living room.

One thing that you should know is that if CPS does show up to investigate you is that you have the right to demand a proper warrant before you allow them to enter your home. They will not like this but if you don't and you allow them to enter they can then report on anything they want. You can have four dishes in the sink and it might get written up as a sink full of dishes and a filthy kitchen. A proper warrant will specify what they are looking for.

In our second investigation an investigator entered our home uninvited through a wide open door. My husand was home alone and was cleaning the house . He had made a couple of piles of junk to take to the dump and this woman was totally oblivious to all the housework he was doing as well as all the cleaners that were in the room.We ended up with a hazardous conditions allegation on top of the bogus ones she originally was in the neighborhood investigating.

I can completley understand the wanting to move away part. We want to move too.

Yes, you can defend yourself against false reporters but going to court costs money. Good attorneys cost a lot and if an accused parent gets a public defender they are ussually lucky if they get to spend five minutes with them before the court date. I learned this from other people I have read about on fightcps.

Yes, you can get second opinions, but they cost a lot too and CPS agencies have their own doctors. They are basically on CPS payroll from what I understand. Lower income families sometimes do not have a chance.

I am lucky that I have never had anyone removed or been to court. Like a lot of others I believed that abuse was a crime and was treated as such. I was shocked to discover that more often than not it is a civil matter and so accused parents are not even given the same rights as murderers and rapists.

Another thing most people do not know is that in most states investigations stay on your record for several years. These records are not criminal and are supposed to be confidential but I found that there is actually a number of agencies and indaviduals that can have access to them. For example: I live in Florida and have two special needs children in addition to my oldest two teens. My last investigation was actually against my husband because some guidance counselor at my then ten year olds school thought that he was domesticaly violent and was sexually abusing her. He was not and we proved it, but then I found out that in Florida the pricipal of any public or private school can have access to th hotline records and can grant access to anyone who has an educational interest in the child.This counselor had access to our records and probobly thought we were getting away with something so was free to make her own assumptions about us. When I requested a warrant the investigator called the police who threatened to arrest me even though it is perfectly legal for me to request one.

It seems that we have become a society where we are "saving the children" while we screw the parents. I do live in fear of being investigated again, not because I have anything to hide. It is because I know from experience how mean and nasty those investigators can be.

Answer 6

I have just gone through the system... and the only thing that you can hope is that as long as you tell the truth and are not doing anything wrong...you might be ok. But the only thing i can say is what come around goes around, and now i believe it is actually true. About 1 year ago my sister got angry at me for not being able to carry a child for her, and not wanting to go through the surgeries to do it( i got my tubes tied after my second child because i was told anouther baby might kill me) She was a preschool teacher and told me i was not a fit parent and she would be better. Two weeks later the most horrific acuzation ever was reported to child services about me, by my sister... life has been extreamly horrible for the last 8 months.. but i am happy to say that we are fine now or at least recovering. My sister how ever has now had an accuzation of child abuse at her work and has been fired... and she did not do this... but like i said what comes around goes around and now she will never work with children again.

Answer 7

People are nosy and are so bored with their own white-bread life that they need to stick their noses in other peoples business to get kicks.

I read a magazine article last week about a case similar to that, where a child had brittle-bone disease, but an ER dr who wasn't aware of that reported the family to CPS. CPS took all of their chilren away (I think there were 2, the daughter with BBD and an infant) and they were treated appalingly in foster care. On a supervised visit, the mother found mold growing in the infants bottle, but CPS would not listen to their complaints about the foster family.

My son is walking now, and he falls down all the time. At this moment, I think he has 3 bruises on his forehead, and a scrape up the back of one leg. We joke all the time about someone calling CPS on us, but privately, it scares me because I know it could really happen.

But on the other hand, real cases of abuse are sadly under-reported because real abusers hide it well. The system is woefully flawed, but it's the only system we have until someone comes up with something better.

Answer 8

It is hard I guess. I believe that it is every persons duty to report someone if they think a child is being harmed - HOWEVER - I do also believe that the system can be inflexible and ridiculous. I too have a friend that had to fight to get her children back after she was falsely arrested for something and later the charges were dropped after someone else admitted to the crime. She did nothing wrong - yet she later had to prove her worth as a parent to get her kids back.

All this, and still some kids are left in homes being abused. Sometimes you have to wonder at their logic.

Answer 9

When I was working as a tutor in a homeless shelter - and as a Sunday school teacher now - I was/am required to tell the head of the program if I suspect anything. Otherwise - if it comes up that I KNEW something and I didn't report it - I can get in trouble. The system tries to protect the children. Unfortunately - since there are nosey jerks out there who are pretending to look out for the children - but really have the intention of hurting the parents - the system doesn't always work.

Yes - you were the one who carried and sacrifices for your kids. And you - like most others - are probably a wonderful parent. Unfortunately - there ARE parents out there who are HORRID - and there has to be something in play to protect the children. And even more unfortunately - it's not a perfect system.

Answer 10

I think that is terrible. It is something to be concerned about. As this country has taken a turn for the worse you probably will see more and more false accusations of child abuse and the state butting in. The only answers I have for it is to pray and pray hard.
There are cases where children truly are being hurt and intervention is needed but most is just a bunch of crock.