This is serious, no joke?

Question

Is self spanking a form of self mutilation? (not for me a friend) Is that something in need of medical attention or just her thing? She's 14. Serious not sexual.

Answer 1

I would have to ask why she's doing this. If she simply does it because she enjoys it and she's not causing lasting damage, then don't worry about it and let her do her thing.

If she's doing this because she feels that she deserves punishment, then she likely will need some kind of professional help. That sort of rationale is why many teenagers partake in "cutting" when they're upset. They reflect their anger or sadness back at themselves, blaming themselves for the bad things that happen to them. Punishment that is inflicted on oneself is indicative of self-loathing, and it not healthy.

Talk to her about it. If she just enjoys it, then back off and let her do what she wants. If it's self-punishment, then ask her to seek help.

While there are legitimate reasons to seek discipline, self-punishment is never a healthy way to reach that. Asking someone else to hold you accountable is a possibility, but not at her age. When she's 18, then that's a different story. If she truly feels that she needs discipline, then perhaps she should speak to her parents about being firmer with her. (I would suggest that she *not* ask her parents to spank her at 14. There are better and more effective means to discipline a teenager. If spanking really is the answer for this girl, then either her parents should decide that based on what they know about their daughter, or she'll just have to wait until she's 18 and can make that decision on an adult level.)

Answer 2

I disagree that your friend should get someone else to spank her! Usually people do that in a sexual context and 14 is a bit young for it, in my opinion.

Unless your friend is making herself bleed or having other injuries, or she feels very bad about what she's doing, I think it's fine. If it's something she does for fun or because it feels good to her, it's a pretty normal thing that a lot of people are interested in. But if it's causing her distress (not just wondering if she's "normal" but distress like she does it because she hates herself or to escape from other terrible issues) then it would be worth talking to a therapist about.

Answer 3

Depends what she's spanking herself with. If she's just using her hand, or a paddle or hairbrush, she's not likely to suffer anything worse than a sore bottom - which is presumably what she wants. But if she starts using anything that breaks the skin, it could cause infection or even scarring and should be discouraged. Maybe she should get a friend to spank her instead - that way it's easier to control.