Child with Bad Sleeping Habits...?

Question

I have a child (almost 3 yrs old) who has a hard time sleeping at night. About 5 times a week, he wakes up at 2 or 3am and will not go back to sleep. I sit with him, read to him, and even just leave him alone to see if he will go back to sleep. He only takes an hour nap at his day care, and goes to bed at 8:30 or 9:00pm.
Lately, he just fights me to go sleep. He hits, kicks, screams, and he even tried biting me once...what do I do? I have spanked him before because he just will not listen to me. Does anyone have any ideas?? Please help!!

Answer 1

Welcome to parenthood!! I have 3 children from 2 to 10 years of age and I have several friends in the same situation. We have ALL gone thru the same thing (do you ever watch "Supper Nanny?). All or most kids will go thru stages which include getting up in the middle of the night, some more than others.

1) How long of a nap does he take during the day? That makes a HUGE difference.
2) Do you put him too sleep to early?
3) Does he drink liquids high in sugar before going to sleep?
4) Does he have a nightlight in his room?
5) Do you try to slowly mellow him down before going to sleep? In other words, NO TV? Read a book to him?

You have to be strong. Are you a single parent? That would make it much tougher on you. Do not give up and explain to him during the day that night time is for sleeping and that you expect for him to be in his room. I know it is VERY hard when you are a parent "starving" for sleep but you have to stick to it until he understands that he must stay in his room. If you continue to have problems or it becomes more a situation you should speak to your pediatrician. You must make it clear to him that hitting and biting is not allowed under any circumstances.

Answer 2

My son is not near that extreme, but some times he will wake up at 3 am and stay up, usually because he has a poo that just wont come out- usually poo's around 5 am.. but anyway

Since my house is child proofed I just lay down on the couch and do that "mom sleeping" thing where you are half asleep, since I slept most the night away I can handle it. Just make sure to listen for any weird sounds, I also turn cartoons on for him to keep him occupied, and re-fill his tippy-cup. A lot of the times he will grab a couple toys and play on the floor infront of the tv, some times he will go back to bed, and other times just stays awake until nap time.

The hitting and kicking thing, not too sure what to do about that, perhaps whatever is triggering his anger to do that, try and avoid it. If it is you making him stay in his room, leave him alone and let him cry it out, if there are other syblings (like my house) see what happens when you are a little more lax with him and let him stay up instead of fighting him about it.

Some people just do not need as much sleep as others.

Answer 3

All children need a set routine. First try to keep the home routine the same every day. Eat dinner together, spend time together. Be firm and tell him "let's read 1 book, then I will tuck you in and you can go to bed."
I would not get into a brawl with him, because that will exaust you and children do not back down. Any ultimatum you make must be followed. Basically he trying to see how far he can push you...will you come back and read to him, give him a drink of water etc.
I do a lot of positive reward systems. That may work for you. Example: Every night you fall asleep without a problem and lay in your bed quietly you earn a ticket. You could put the ticket on his pillow. He could then put the ticket in the jar. Every so many tickets could be cashed in for a special day with Mommy, a trip to the park. I would make sure it is not a monetary prize because this is a behavior he should be exhibiting. Another system is to have a "sticker fairy or angel" to fly into his room after he has fallen asleep by himself and place a sticker on his face.
Those are just a few ideas to try.

Answer 4

Make sure that he eats his dinner no later than 6:30 p.m. and do not give him any type of snack or treat after dinner that has any type of sugar in it Only let him have water to dring after dinner until bed time. Another that you can try that works very well with my granddaugther is to let her take a warm bath an hour or so before bedtime. Let him play for a little bit so that he will be relaxed from the warm bath. I hope this will help. You might even have to let him sit up a bit longer until he will calm down.

Answer 5

It's probably just a stage that he is going through. My daughter who is 2 1/2 now, has went through stages like that in the last year.

My best advice is if he does wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning, then do not read, talk, offer him a toy to play with, nothing. When my daughter wakes up like that, she comes in to my bed and lays down and knows to be quiet. If she can't sleep, then fine, but she needs to know that it is time to rest not play.

As far as getting him to go to sleep at night, keep a routine. For us, it's take a bath, read 3 books, then off to bed. My daughter was not too fond of this at first, and tried to get me to read just one more book. But, I did not budge, and now she knows what to expect each night, and goes to sleep without any fight.

Please do not spank him, it will only make him upset and wake him up more. Plus, spanking does not solve problems anyway.

Good luck. Hope you and your son get a full night of rest soon!

Answer 6

Sounds like a behavioral issue. Not that he can't sleep... but that he refuses... a control issue. Have you ever heard of the Ferber Method? I know this can be modified for toddlers. Just google it. In general, it's where you leave them in the room after saying goodnight... and everynight you do not go back in (no matter how hard he kicks and screams) for increasingly longer amounts of time... they eventually get the idea that stalll tactics and tantrums won't get them what they want. Good luck! (I have a 3 yr. old son as well).

Answer 7

tell the daycare not to give him naps anymore. and if he's fighting you there may be something more behind why he's not wanting to sleep.
He may have sleep apnea or there may be something going on at the daycare that's got your son bothered.
And some kids do go through these stages, you just have to find a way you can work around this and what works for you both but spanking him will not make him go to bed sooner than you'd like. ROFL i've stooped low enough as to use dimetap on my younger ones cause they just don't want to go to bed. GL to you

Answer 8

For some kids, that hour nap is the ultimate battery recharge. I learnt that with my daughter. Even 15 minutes nap in the day meant she was up half the night. Even at 6, if she dozes off for just a little while, shes up till midnight even though she got up at 6am to get ready for school. Spanking won't help. I asked my pediatrician about the problem when she was right about the same age as your son and he confirmed it, some kids just dont need the day naps, and if they get them, their sleeping pattern is compromised. Try keeping him up all day, however much he wants to nap.

Answer 9

Kids are far more smarter then we give them credit for.A well thought out bedtime routine has to be your answer...Wind him down by sitting and reading with him....but once its time to sleep the worse thing you can do is give hin attention....he can read that clearly and WILL play you with it....so the best thing you can do is don't give him any attention( definitely no eye contact)..i promise you there will be tantrums in the beginning and once he knows who is in charge. he Will settle into his routine and you both will be happy for it.
As for him fighting you...That is a total No no and most definitely a discipline issue...explain and warn him "hitting mummy is not good"( or similar).....and if he persists...give him a 3 min time out.....and after the timeout get him to apologize to you so he understands his tantrums will not be tolerated.
I have raised 4 beautiful kids with bundle of fun using this method .seems harsh but WELL TESTED and works....good luck!!!!

Answer 10

NOoooooo not a bad habbit at all, your baby is only 5 weeks old, it needs all the love and cuddling it can get! When my son was 7 weeks i posted something about him being spoiled and everyone was so mean to me!lol you can't spoil a bab that young. Just enjoy it now cuz my son is 4 months old and he wont let me cuddle him like i use to :( i miss it so much and while he realy wanted to do it i was so stressed and pulling out my hair cause i couldn't get anything done, id do anything to go back to then and CUDDLE HIM ALL the time :(