My cousin just moved into a new house. In the few months that she has lived there, she has heard some very high pitched sounds coming from her neighbor's place. She's pretty sure its one of her neighbor's kids shrieking, but isn't absolutely certain that its a potential abuse situation and not the kid laughing (sounds stupid, but I can see how that might be a tough call to make). She hasn't had much contact with her neighbor, and doesn't want to ask anout this situation. I don't know what to tell her. If this lady is abusing her children, the authorities should be contacted. But if the authorities are contacted and there is an inocuous explaination, this whole family's lives will be turned upside down. What would you do in this case? Try to find out more information? Talk to the neighbor? Contact Social Services and let the chips fall where they may? I would really appreciate some opinions on this.
Thanks
2007-01-02 15:33:32 · 24 answers · asked by Michael O 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Thanks for all the advice. It is very much appreciated. Except for jgmafb's words of wisdom. Umm...it's called a typo. Maybe you have never committed one. You moron.
2007-01-02 16:09:12 · update #1
In Texas, if a child's being abused or neglected and you had knowledge or suspicion of it happening, and you did not contact the Child Welfare office, you are legally as guilty of the abuse or neglect as the parent who does the abuse. I have had experience as a Child Welfare worker, and have worked with numerous others, and I can tell you that we investigate the complaint with extreme care and anonymity of the complainant, so please feel free, and responsible, to make the call if you truly suspect there is abuse or neglect. Even if you ignore your legal responsibility and liability, I can assure you that if some abuse or neglect is going on and you do not report it, you're gonna feel like hell knowing you could've done something but didn't. Take care of yourself psychologically and legally and make the call if you have even the smallest suspicion. We'd rather go out and investigate an errant complaint than have to go out an investigate a severe abuse or neglect case. "Better safe than sorry" as the old saying goes. God Bless you.
2007-01-02 15:48:29 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would continue to listen and if a chance appears to see the child up close or talk with the child and ask at firs only about the loud sounds " Boy, it sure sounds like someone is yelling at your house, who getting trouble so much, its not you is it??" observe the response, the emotion behind it and the body language
Sometimes I wonder what prompts some of you to give a thumbs up or down-I happen to have a masters in counseling and know what i'm talking about. Even as a counselor I would not make a phone call to cps based on noises i cant decipher, which is what has been explained. I suggested an opportunity to see the child to see if there are bruises or marks. Some others have suggested talking to the neighbor adult, though you could it may enrage the abuser if they indeed are an abuser. the other very short term answer would be to wait until you hear the noises again and anonymously call the police, which you can do. They will determine any immediate danger. If they see any signs of physical abuse things will be handled immediately, if they suspect something is wrong, such as emotional/verbal abuse or neglect they will report it to cps.
2007-01-02 23:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by jeanetteann 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would try to mention it to the neighbor. Casually mention it when she sees her, something like "I heard some strange sound and wondered if everything is OK". Kids scream, whether they're being silly or mad. I would try to get more information before contacting the authorities. Even if there is no abuse in the home, it's still a black mark on the family's record. Tell her to keep an eye out and definitely report the situation if she finds out more info.
2007-01-02 23:38:48 · answer #3 · answered by Alicia L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't just call the authorities without having some type of proof. Like you say, they may just be playing. Make it a point to look at the children every chance you get. Look for bruises, scratches and anything that would indicate abuse. Be objective.
Also notice how the kids act when you see them. Are they out going, shy, VERY shy? Just take notice of how they appear. Drop by a DHR and pick up some information on what to look for in abused kids.
IF they ARE being abused, by all means they need to be checked out. On the other hand, a family can get in serious situations IF they are turned in even tho they are totally innocent. There are some overzealous agents out there that would over react and cause a lot of harm to the kids and parents.
Good luck. Pops
2007-01-02 23:42:42 · answer #4 · answered by Pops 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
To those who said it isn't their business- then whose business is it? Only the child and parent? How can so many people say to butt out and mind your own life, and yet be against a simple spank?
Going over and seeing might help. (Just meeting them and the child. Maybe s/he will see a screaming fit and understand it's nothing.) But calling CPS wouldn't hurt. They will go and see, and if they see nothing then they will do nothing. They don't snatch every kid they can. I don't see why some of you are so against them, they save lifes.
It's a tough call to make. Maybe your cousins could casually bring it up with a different neighbor who would know what's going on?
2007-01-03 00:37:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know...I have a 2 year old, and she is soooo loud that it hurts my ears sometimes. Its a tough call, if the child is hyper and loud when you see them out and about, then it's probably just the child's personality. Have you watched those nanny shows???? Those kids scream so loud that you could hear them houses away...thats just how young kids respond sometimes, by yelling, or shrieking, or whatever. I definitly dont think that that alone is cause for alarm.
2007-01-03 14:51:22 · answer #6 · answered by brandi91082 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quietly sit under a window in the dark if possible, but try to get to know the neighbor and kids dont let it go my sis was in exact situation. the little girl was having horrible things done to her. 4 yrs old. but do talk to someone, maybe you have a friend who has a friend that can help know what athourity to contact for most private investigation. or call police annonymous in a current situation.
2007-01-02 23:48:22 · answer #7 · answered by sdwhippie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children cry for lots of reasons...being tired, just fell down, ect. Have your cousin go over and introduce herself!!! You do not want to falsely accuse someone of abuse,especially if you only hear crying!! Maybe, your cousin can help the neighbor out by offering to baby sit or just be friends! Just do not jump to conclusions!!!
2007-01-02 23:45:07 · answer #8 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your cousin to call her local authorities on the matter. Make sure she doesn't tell them her name or tells them she'd like to remain anonymous. What they'll do is go to the neighbors home and do a mini investigation on the matter. What will happen next is Social Services will be called to further the investigation if the authorities feel that there needs to be one. (My husband's a police officer) If there's a child that is shrieking it's quite possible that the child is being abused either by the parent or by the sibling. Either way the parent needs to know that there are methods of good parenting and good methods of teaching their children not to hit one another. GL to your cousin!!
2007-01-02 23:38:54 · answer #9 · answered by dragonlady042 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Definetly do some more homework and maybe befriend the child first and find out more from the child in a light hearted conversation before taking any further action,
2007-01-03 00:28:21 · answer #10 · answered by Bob P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋