I have heard about people who have sex with friends (friends with benefits) and have seen a couple of episodes of True Life on MTV about it. And I personally think it's pointless. I mean it's either an extended one night stand, or a real relationship- with romantic feelings-in denial. And a lot of those people say there's no strings attached or no committment but I disagree. What do you think?
2007-01-02 15:02:35 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"a real relationship- with romantic feelings-in denial"
I agree with that. It's hard not to fall in love with somebody if the sex is great and you share with your most intimate moments with this person!
2007-01-02 15:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by baby2007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question because Friends with Benefits is becoming more common. I think it has different meanings at different ages and stages in life. I think that two mature people who are logical, responsible and decent can get into a relationship like this but I think that it becomes a relationship even if the guy doesn't want to think it. Giving yourself options in a relationship never hurts but two emotionally experienced adults wouldn't go into this type of relationship unless they are feeling more than just friendship. They are probably trying to deny their feelings so that they don't feel rushed into a relationship.
Younger friends in their 20's are probably having friends with benefits because it is safe, your options are still open and you don't have to worry about disrespect from your friend.
2007-01-02 23:12:03 · answer #2 · answered by MW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem with being friends with benefits is that you aren't being a friend, and you aren't getting the benefits you think. All that you have is two people who agree to use each other. This type of arrangement is especially common on college campuses, where dating is almost extinct.
One reason why the whole idea of courting a woman in college is almost non-existent is because if a man can receive all the physical benefits of marriage without even so much as knowing a girl's last name, don't expect him to pop the question anytime soon (much less woo you with real romance). This is why prostitutes never work near college campuses. They would go out of business, because it's free at the parties. You just give a girl a beer, tell her she's pretty, and the hook-up begins.
But no woman on earth is longing for a whole series of meaningless hook-ups and physical encounters with uncommitted men. They're looking for love, intimacy, and acceptance. But they may be willing to give away their bodies if it can make them feel desired, wanted, and cared for. Take for example a girl who said she had given oral sex to a number of guys because she wanted to be respected. I'm sure the guys appreciated her efforts, but not a single one gained respect for her. It's like putting your money in a paper shredder so that you can have more cash.
My words have been so harsh against "friends with benefits" because we have been created to participate in a love so much greater than all of this. When a man and a woman really love each other, their love becomes a reflection of the very inner life of the Trinity. Pope John Paul II says that in their bodies, they make visible the invisible mystery of God. . . that he is love! When a man loves a woman, he can see in her what Adam originally saw in Eve. He can see God's image and likeness in her. This should inspire a man to have a trembling reverence for the body of a woman, this tabernacle of life, this temple of the Holy Spirit.
Odds are, you aren't going to hear this vision of sex and love on MTV, or in some Abercrombie and Filth catalogue. But, you know where you'll find it? It's stamped into your very heart, and into your very body. There's this desire in all of us to make a total gift of ourselves. When it comes to friends with benefits, it's the opposite of what every one of us is made for. Instead of a total gift, it's a partial loan. That's why neither partner ends up satisfied. They aren't giving themselves. They're losing themselves. In the words of Pope John Paul II, when two people agree to use each other, they become "slaves to their weaknesses."
2007-01-02 23:06:39 · answer #3 · answered by kakolikapiha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all a matter of preference. Some do, some don't.. so what..?
If you find it objectionable and don't want to do it... then.. don't.
These friends-with-benefits are just an excuse to have less commitments, but then it usually turns into a mess.. emotional or physical or social mess.. for one or both involved.
So, when it doubt, do what your gut tells you. Use your 'spidey' sense.. if it feels wrong, it probably is (for you, at least).
2007-01-02 23:13:51 · answer #4 · answered by Think Richly™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a guy i wanted to do this with but really I had feelings for him and didnt want to ruin the friendship with a relationship Then I realized how stupid that would be. Anyway we were both just denyig our feelings and decided risking out friendship for a relationship is better then risking it more meaningless sex.
2007-01-02 23:07:36 · answer #5 · answered by Tina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you 100 percent
2007-01-02 23:08:02 · answer #6 · answered by alicia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree w/ u. one of the 2 always wants the other and gets hurt. if u can be fwb than i think u should be together w feelings,
2007-01-02 23:15:06 · answer #7 · answered by porkey_jrabbit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my oppion it's the best kind of relasionship. (from personal experience)
2007-01-02 23:22:59 · answer #8 · answered by StreetPunk93 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. That's basically like sleeping with a hooker.
2007-01-02 23:08:04 · answer #9 · answered by nerdandproudofit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it can only undermine and erode a friendship.
2007-01-02 23:05:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋