Hey.......?

Question

hey I want to know some riddles or jokes..........please.........one with the best joke(s) wins

Answer 1

RIDDLES: Until I am measured, I am not known. Yet how you miss me, When I have flown. (time)

What is so fragile that when you say its name you break it?(Silence)

JOKES: A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were exploring the jungle and were captured by a fierce tribe. As they sit in a hut, awaiting their fate, the chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down.

The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over -- the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere.

There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???"

The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe, a**hole!"


NEW JOKE!
A big Texas rancher and a little Missouri farmer had a conversation.

The Texas rancher said, "I can get into my truck, drive it all day and not ever get off of my ranch!"

“Yeah,” replied the little Missouri farmer, “I had a truck like that one time.”