Nutshell: We have been dating for 7 years and living together for 4. He lied to me about a girl he was seeing and then when I found out (not the first time either), he basically left me to live with her for about three months. We gave up our apartment and now he is living on his own. A month ago he called and said he wanted me back, when I told him I needed time he cussed at me (he is continously putting me down calling me terrible things I cant even type here) He is 32 and I am 25. I still talk to him because I care about him. He says that I am not gving him a chance and that I never really loved him, b/c I wont even meet him for a drink. But then calls back and says he loves me and then hates me. He keeps talking about other girls to me especially the one he left me for tonight he called and asked for his ex girlfriends phone number. I have had it. I am wrong for not giving him a chance when he rubbed my face in his affair for 3 months?? A guys point of view woulf help too
2007-01-02 14:48:00 · 26 answers · asked by wicked1too 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I will describe him in one word...MANIPULATOR.
He is trying to manipulate you into getting back with you. He probably just wants you to help pay the bills. His exlover/girlfriend probably got sick of him for that reason or she caught him cheating. Remember that he cheated on you. For someone to rub that in your face, to tell you he loves you, and then tells you that you never loved him, and calls you terrible things clearly says that he is a cheating manipulator. I think enough has been said about that. I think deep down you know you shouldn't take him back and just want confirmation that you are doing the right thing. In my opinion, just stick to your guns. You are doing the right thing. There are plenty of fish in the sea and your ex is a spineless jellyfish. It also sounds like you have a soft heart. I do too and it is sometimes tempting to take in the stray little puppy, but remember that the puppy can grow up to bite the hands that feeds it. Sorry for all the animal analogies here, but I am sure you get the point. Best to you.
2007-01-02 15:14:53 · answer #1 · answered by zumi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have just spent 7 years in an abusive relationship and need to RUN from this guy. While he doesn't truly care for you, he does enjoy the obvious benefits of someone who is at his beck and call. Get away, move if you can and start a new and different life. I'd recommend getting some counseling from a social worker or minister. It will help you gain perspective on this whole thing. How sweet life will be when you get this behind you and get a relationship with a decent guy who truly cares about YOU! Please be careful, even though he may not have been physically abusive (yet), most physical abusers start with verbal abuse. An abused spouse or girlfriend who leaves an abuser is at some of her greatest risk after leaving. He wants his control BACK! Your life will be decades of misery if you go back and if you were unfortunate enough to have children with this creep, they will grow up to abuse or be abused. My thoughts are with you, a better life than this lies ahead if you can be strong. Good Luck!
2007-01-02 23:12:41 · answer #2 · answered by Jim N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No youre doing the right thing. Someday, you will find a guy that wouldn't cheat on you to begin with, or treat you like s***. You deserve so much better than that, even if you still care about him. He clearly doesnt care as much about you, otherwise he wouldnt have cheated or put you down, or talked about his exs and asked for the numbers. 7 years says that you love him, dont let him use that as an excuse. Good Luck!
2007-01-02 22:53:39 · answer #3 · answered by Ash_082 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were a 17 year old child basically when you began this relationship...so this is pretty much all you've known.
When a person hurts you constantly that's a sign they shouldn't have a place in your life.
You have so much ahead of you....start this New Year off right by cutting him completely out of your life and give yourself a fresh start.
You deserve to be happy, loved, and respected.
2007-01-02 22:53:27 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK~ if you were reading this question how the heck would you answer it? Don't take back, and don't talk to him anymore, you don't need that crap in you life. It sounds like a mirror image of what I went through and guess what I didn't take him back and I found out he had a baby on the way~~~ be smart and good luck.
2007-01-02 22:57:22 · answer #5 · answered by mightyquinn317 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you get from this turkey beside grief? Do you not deserve respect? It sounds as though the only consistent thing about him is his inconsistency. If you like being jerked around keep him in your life. You don't have to live that way unless you are masochistic.
2007-01-02 22:52:54 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typical bitter break-up nonsense that will make it impossible to ever be together again. Move on. There are 6 billion people in the world. Stop swimming in such a tiny pond.
2007-01-02 22:51:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations for being smart enough to know he is not worth it! Not taking him back might be hard at first, but you are definitely doing the right thing. He wants someone to bounce back to whenever the spirit moves him. Let him bounce to one of his other girls. You gave him his chances, you don't owe him a thing. Good for you!
2007-01-02 22:54:54 · answer #8 · answered by djedin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is a LOOOOOSER!!! He does not truely love you! His ex gf probably kicked him out of the house and now, he needs someone to fill her place. He is lonely and looking for a back up!! He calls you names and openly discusses his other women to you!!! Move on...he is not worth it!!! If he loved you, he would not have cheated on you in the first place!!
2007-01-02 22:52:04 · answer #9 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok you donj't need that idiot in your life!!! You are better of without him. There is no reason for you to stick around if he not only cheated on you but has the balls to degrade you that way!!! you did good for not taking him back and don't ever doubt that! you desrve a whole lot better than that!
2007-01-02 22:52:05 · answer #10 · answered by cHiKiBaBe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋