Ever since my mom passed away 12 yrs ago, my family has been different. My dad doesn't talk to my brothers and now my sister doesn't talk to the rest of us except my dad. My dad & I didn't talk for a few years, but I dropped gifts off at Christmas for him that my aunt sent to me for him. Over the years, I started adding gifts from me & my kids. This last Christmas, I dropped off gifts for him AND my sister. My dad sent a cheque which I will spend mostly on my kids. That was great of him to do that. I haven't heard anything from my sister. I don't know if she still lives in the same place or even has the same phone number. I think it's obvious that she can't be bothered with us. Should I bother with her?
2007-01-02 14:31:57 · 16 answers · asked by katie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds like your mom was the family glue that held everyone together. It may not be that your sister does not Want to have a relationship with you, but does not know how to go about doing it. And I can tell you from experience that the longer something like that goes on the harder it is to reach out. I think you should make the effort. Even if it turns out she doesn't want anything to do with you, at least you'll know you tried. Since she is still talking to your dad, maybe you could suggest a day for you all to go out to lunch and see how that goes, if y'all are in the same general area. Or if you're not you could ask your dad to mention to her that you've been asking about her and would love to hear from her. Or if you can get the address maybe just a little note letting her know that you miss having a sister and are thinking of her with your contact informartion in case she ever wants to talk. Some people are better at writing than speaking, so maybe even if you could get her to e-mail you it would be a good starting point to try and bridge the gap.
2007-01-02 14:50:53 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now both my parents are still with us but i can't believe how much your family sounds like mine. This one talks to this one but not this one, etc... I had a similiar problem with my brother. I would tell you go ahead and try. Was there a fight or one problem in particular that caused this rift? I would come right out and tell her you miss her... If you are going to go far enough to contact her, you might as well put your heart on your sleeve. If it doesn't work, then you can't be any worse off then you are right now. The only difference is, you can say you tried. Does it really matter who "bothers" first as long as the relationship is mended?
2007-01-02 22:40:15 · answer #2 · answered by Sue A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, try at least make the effort. If she does not want to speak with you, I think you have a right to know why. Sometimes when people distance themselves, they may become involved with something they never had intentions of dealing with. Sometimes they have resorted to alcohol or drug abuse to fill the emptiness in their lives. At any rate, she deserves a chance from her sister, and when you do track her down, make the effort to at least say hello.
2007-01-02 22:39:32 · answer #3 · answered by Road 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that someone has to make the first move and since you seem to have a very outgoing and warm personality maybe it would be easier for you. After a death everyones feelings are confused for a while and I sense that maybe your sister would be overjoyed if you contacted her. Good luck.
2007-01-02 22:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the sake of family, not just you and sis, but your children also, make an attempt at finding your sister.
You can at least find out if she is ok that way. If she wants further contact, then she will say so. If not, that is her choice, but you tried.
2007-01-02 23:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by joy q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. If I were in your shoes I would try to get in contact with her. If she wants nothing to do with you, that's her problem. It's no longer yours to deal with. My grandmother and her sister have not talked in several years and I always try to talk her into contacting her sister so that she doesn't regret it later in life that she never tried. I tell her to be the bigger person and if it doesn't work, it is no longer her burden to carry.
2007-01-02 22:35:57 · answer #6 · answered by SelfGrill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try it out. Regret comes from not trying. See if there is anything there. Be honest with her, tell her what your intentions are and how you feel then see if she feels or would consider anything of the same.
2007-01-03 00:25:40 · answer #7 · answered by throughthebackyards 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you only have one family and the need for those connections are hard-wired into us. Don't let anyone walk all over you but try.
2007-01-02 22:49:11 · answer #8 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre her sister get in contact with her because your blood, doesnt matter if you bother her because that what sisters do at times.
Take care
2007-01-02 22:36:10 · answer #9 · answered by Thrills 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
blood is thicker than water,give her a call!!! It sounds like she doesn't want to side with anyone & if you think about it,you haven't taken the time to keep in contact with her either.FAMILY IS FOREVER & were not here for a long time remember!!!!!
2007-01-02 22:48:59 · answer #10 · answered by Spanky the monkey !!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋