recent fight. She wants to continue to date but not continue to live together. Do you go along with this?
The way I see it I pay $460 a month on her rent, give her $800 a month towards her car so she can pay it off in one year rather than five. She can barely pay for all the bills if she were on her own. Why go along with this because the way I see it I must be so bad to live with that she would rather lose twelve hundred a month than live with me? How could she possibly want to still date or plan on having any future if that is her view? Is this an accurate view?
2007-01-02 14:29:09 · 16 answers · asked by Tunasandwich 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you're really hurt, and I can't say that I blame you. She may just be having issues with personal space. Does she have a room of her own in the house, or is it all shared space? Sometimes the complete loss of space of your own and time to yourself can be really hard on people, and the easiest thing to do to help that is to talk about it. Suggest that, rather than moving out, you guys set up space for her, or schedule her some alone time every week. It can be flexible, and she can have some space.
I'm not guaranteeing that this will be enough for her, but it might open up a dialogue. I understand how you're feeling (went through something similar recently) but you have to realize it really is about her needing her space, not from you, but in general. She still wants to be with you, but she may be under a lot of pressure and nerves both from that and the engagement. Talking about it may be just what both of you need to figure out how to plan the next phase of your lives together.
Good luck, and try not to be so down on yourself, and her.
2007-01-02 14:34:22 · answer #1 · answered by fairygothmommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, dude... here's what I understand...she needs space.. but can she afford it?
Why don't you ask her? Maybe she sees you too much. This may become a problem for you later on when you get married.
So, it's best to face the issue head on. Talk to her and tell her what you are saying here. It's not fair for you if she wants you to pay for her but she wants space, so you two have to work out the details. It's important to reach an understanding since you guys are engaged. Perhaps the best thing is to go seperate ways and learn from this lesson.
The other possibility is that she has lost attraction with you. She may no longer be attracted to you. Learn how to win her back if that is the case, and if you still want her.
2007-01-02 22:42:59 · answer #2 · answered by Think Richly™ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello! It sounds like she doesn't want to be with you anymore. If you are engaged to someone then break it off, and say you want to continue to date, that should be a red flag. She may be interested in being with someone else, or not being fully commited to you. If you want to continue to date then, why not stay engaged and just hold off on the wedding... She sounds like she wants to continue to date you because you are taking care of her. Why would she want to let that go?! But I seriously doubt she wants to marry you. How long have you been together? She sounds like a gold digger. I hope you don't continue to give her all that money if you continue dating. That way, if you don't you can see how much she really loves you when you aren't paying all her bills. You sound like a really nice guy, and you shouldn't let people take advantage of you like that. I wish you the best of luck!
2007-01-02 22:36:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wants the benefits and not the commitment. You are very lucky she is showing her true colors now. It is best to finish a relationship cold turkey than end up having a divorce for obvious reason: one sided relationship. She is no good for you. You deserve better.
Girls like her abuse guys like you because you allow it to happen. You will get over it, deep inside you know what to do, just listen to yourself.
2007-01-02 22:35:59 · answer #4 · answered by Abby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wake up ,she's taking you for a free ride around the world.
you need to keep your money and find someone else that wants you for you,and not your money.
trying to help you out on a woman's point of view.
she's already found someone else,and trying to hide from you.
be a little smarter than her,save your money.
change your phone number and try to move on.
best of luck to you.
2007-01-02 22:38:15 · answer #5 · answered by hl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if I were you I would find my own place to live and let her take care of herself financially....100%
If and when you guys decide to get married then you can resume whatever you feel like doing in the way of money.
She can't have it both ways.
2007-01-02 22:33:38 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely...if she wants space give her space along with all her financial responsibilities back. It's likely she is having second thoughts. Aren't you glad it happened now and not later?
2007-01-02 22:33:18 · answer #7 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a womans happiness is not dependant on money.
maybe since you live with her you don't romance her anymore and that is what she is fighting you about, although she may call it something else. maybe she found out by living with you before marriage that you are a knucklehead, although i have no proof one way or another on this.
have another talk with her. she may have gotten over it or it may be time for you to bow out gracefully and let her get on with her life whether you believe that she is being mislead or not.
2007-01-02 22:38:25 · answer #8 · answered by sodajerk50 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to live together. I don't condone it either but that's me, personally. I say cut the financial ties until you tie the knot.
2007-01-02 22:33:00 · answer #9 · answered by kakolikapiha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
listen tell her if she moves out you are not paying for her car or giving her money towards her rent. she wants to date other people or she would not want to move out.
2007-01-02 22:36:26 · answer #10 · answered by iseemen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋