I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We love each other and have a great relationship except for one thing...our uncontrollable fights. We don't fight every day...but when we do...it ruins a couple days at a time. The arguments just get to a point where we can't get each other to back down. We just blame and finger-point and throw out sarcastic comments. Even if I surrender...he still isn't understanding. I can never end an argument with him civilly no matter what I try. We wanted to get married soon...but I don't even know if it's a good idea if we argue like this.
2007-01-02 14:22:06 · 27 answers · asked by Rach1234 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Run a webcam pay-per-view to finance the wedding.
2007-01-02 14:23:45 · answer #1 · answered by Minmi 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It very much sounds as though you are pretty angry folks with him being the angrier of the two. Do you fight about the things about which you are angry or do you just find things to fight about? The fights of most couples are about non-essential or non-sensical subjects not the real problems. No, marriage isn't a good idea unless you really like the fighting or get off doing it or NEED them. Without knowing more it's hard to tell if you simply need anger management or there is some more basic problems.
2007-01-02 14:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if you would want your children to witness your fights and grow up to fight like that with their spouses. If the answer is no, then this guy is the wrong guy for you. No couple agrees 100% of the time, but you need to learn how to have a healthy dispute with acceptance and love. Find a good role model.
Others have suggested couples counseling, and I gave them thumbs up, but only because you'll learn a valuable lesson from it. With chronic problems like this, your relationship is probably not salvageable - because it'll require serious change; and change is often painful and scary; and it's harder to change in the pressure cooker of a situation where you can't feel secure.
So, your best bet is to get out, take a breather, and actively look for people who disagree in a healthy way. Watch, and learn.
2007-01-02 15:01:05 · answer #3 · answered by SoCalSkierGuy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you both need some couples counseling before you consider getting married. Please seek some help. Getting married is not going to solve this or make it any better. Sounds like you both have anger issues. You didn't mention if you both drink or are drinking when you are fighting but if you are, this is a very volatile situation. I hope you don't have children together or around when you are fighting. They don't deserve to see this or to be a part of it. I am sure they are scared. So get some help or get away from each other. You were not meant to be together.
2007-01-02 14:26:43 · answer #4 · answered by Bren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally i got out of a relationship recently because of the same thing, the fights out weighed the good and that isnt what you need, especially if the fights are petty ones, and if he doesnt stop even when you back down then I would deffinitly end things or talk to him about your intentions of leaving because there is too much hostility in your relationship.....Good Luck
2007-01-02 14:25:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in one like this but the other way; she was the way he is.
Just make a choice if this is the way you want to live the rest of your life.
I made that choice but I waited 9 years. I wish it would have happened after 4 years.
it took me 3 years to recover from it and get back to the way I was before I lived with her. I am sure it took her a while as well. So why beat yourself up. Personalities are what they are and you cant change him only yourself.
You have to make a decision if this is what you want to be like forever or not.
2007-01-02 14:26:30 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a person for your to marry. Marriage is a give and take relationship. And yes there are disagreements and fights, but they are usually short lived. If you really want to marry him the two of you are going to have to learn to fight on a civilized playing field. Get consuling.
2007-01-02 14:25:11 · answer #7 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like someone has to be the hero in this relationship. You have to just say to your boyfreind that you dont want to fight anymore and leave it at that. It seems that you arent ready for marriage yet. Get some cousleing and get to the bottom of all the fights.
2007-01-02 14:28:42 · answer #8 · answered by Daniel H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No do not marry this guy. If you are fighting now it only gets worse. I know this is not what you want to hear but I am 28 going through my second divorce. It only gets worse with marrage. If you really love him get counsiling and see if you can over come this. The best of luck to you.
2007-01-02 14:26:32 · answer #9 · answered by Marie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to this very much. I am so glad that I got out of that relationship and never went back even when I was a 100% sure that is what I wanted.
2007-01-02 14:28:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think getting married will make things better, what about being kids into these fights. If you fight this bad you should really call it quits because sooner than later they will become violent and some one will get hurt
2007-01-02 14:26:05 · answer #11 · answered by iseemen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋