Do people in America really ever stay in relationships for years?

Question

I just had a long and painful breakup with a girl i thought, and had said we would be with for years. And I know someone else that thought they found a good person and it ended horribly. Do black people ever have good relationships that last for longer than a few months, or just 1 or 2 years? ...or have our priorities changed and we can't handle real relationships with people that love us? Am i along with anyone else stupid for thinking that one person will be there for that long?

Answer 1

We do find people that we can be in relationships for years. It just depends on if we find that one special person. I was in a relationship for 3 years but we just realized we were not right for each other. I still believe that there is someone out there for everyone. You are not stupis for thinking that one person will be there for that long. It's a possibility. Just wait for it. It will happen.

Answer 2

Well I'm not black but I also think this is a good question, I too just went threw a bad break up with a girl that i thought i would be with forever. But now i realize that we were good together at the time, We grew apart and things didnt work because of that. I do however think that people can be together for a really long time. My parents for example have been together for 19 years, and still goin' strong. Sometimes it just takes time to find someone that you can grow in the same direction at the same time. I'm not saying a soul mate because i think there are many souls that you can be compatible with. So just take the time to think about your past relationship and learn from it, Take what you now know and find someone else. Things can work out, it just takes time and patience.

Answer 3

I think many priorities have changed over the years for many people. BUT do NOT limit it to the race of BLACK people. I had a good marriage and would still be married if my husband had not died. We weathered storms and kept on keepin' on! I have friends who married young and you should see them now. NO it was not easy, but they did it! My Pastor and his wife have been married over 42 years. Their kids have been married a while. My aunts/uncles weathered the storms and are still hangin' on. There are friends and in-laws of mine who have been together for 10 years or more. YOUNG folk, too. They are BLACK. I also had White friends break up and White friends weather storms and stay together and Mexican Friends and Indian friends who broke up and some stayed together.
I had a friend who is Indian who's marriage was arranged and he was "gay" or did not want to have relations with his wife, even on the wedding night-NEVER. She was still a virgin. They divorced and she is now married to a wonderful man an was able to be a virgin in a second marriage and they have a baby. How about that?
BAD RELATIONSHIPS HAVE NO RACE OR COLOR!
YOUR priorities must be that person, their value and the relationship and what makes you BOTH happy. IF somehow things have changed, get with your partner, instead of others and discuss it and figure a solution. I think that is one of the fallicies today, people go to everyone else and discuss their issues with their partner and their partner never knows until it is TOO late. DISCUSS with that partner!
Sex is another fallicy. So many fall into sex instead of love. Yeah, she can swing you from a ceiling fan, he can put you on a washing machine and rock your world for an hour or two, but you still have 22/23 more hours in the day. C'mon now. When that gets old, and it does, what is the depth of that relationship. Don't jump too soon in the sheets, before you know the repeats of one's actions/values, etc.
WILLING to work it out is another thing that is wrong. So many just leave because there are so many temptations out there and people thinking the grass is greener on the other side.
Then when they figure out that is isn't, their old grass will have been cut, edged, weed-eated, landscaped, watered and ...well...you get it!
SO YES there are still some out there that want something REAL and LONG-LASTING, 'cuz I do again one day. But you must be that person too. Don't be willing to give up on the first problem or issue.
NEXT, do NOT fall in lust, thinking you have fallen in love.
Sometimes relationships do not work because one fell for the wrong things in the first place. They fell for the body of a person, the OUTER beauty of a person and not the person or the financial stability of others or the favor that other person has on his/her life, or whatever. (NOT all beautiful people have negative issues, cause I don't ...laugh)...but sometimes we fall for only the beauty, finances or favor of a person and not the person's values, insights, love for others, habits, etc. Then when they are familiar with that person as a whole, they cannot handle it.
SO just do the old fashioned thing our foreparents taught us--LOOK DEEP...no DE-E-E-P BEFORE you LEAP! AND remember NO ONE is perfect, not ME, Any other person and NOT YOU either! Learn from what happened, keep moving on and you will be blessed.
The fact that you are even concerned about it shows good character on your part! Stay encouraged!
Remember Relationships have no race or color! Check around!

Answer 4

She does love you for shure, however she wants to make sure she can do it in her own. Hmm, Your a great guy, just to let her go on her own, but what will happen if she meets someone new out there?? You guys are too far away.. And there is an old saying that relationships from long distance never work out.. Eventually your love for one another will fade with time.. What if you meet someone else, or what if she meets someone else, you don't know when she will be back, too many things can happen, between now and when she comes back, which you don't exactly know.. I know you love her, but will how much are you willing to wait for her?? Will you wait for her for 1 year? How about 4 or 5 years?? Will you wait for her still, or will you eventually move on? Just think about it.. I wish you lots of luck... i would feel lucky, and blessed if a person who I really loved would be willing to go and be there with me, specially if I need him, at least just a shoulder to leanon & for him to tell me that I will make it, to cheer me up when I am at my lowest, and to be there with me to celebrate the good times.. She was indeed allicky girl, why is she leaving you.. I have no ideah why would a person do this to such a good guy.. I hope you can prove me wrong.. Have a good night.. :}Ciao*

Answer 5

Uhh, your question is a little hazy. Despite what you may read
people in the US are the basically the same as any other
European based society. GB , Aust and the US have common
roots and also many of the same negative proclivities of our common English ancestors and their empire.
The current dominant US Empire colours global expectations
of '' normalcy'' and many of the problems you experience in
Australia are the same in the US for couples.
Modern marketplace / mass media societies are not traditionally
based and we have all grown up in a corporate shaped society.
Today in the US many '' minorities'' are living the same lives
with the same challenges as the former white majority .
I grew up when the US still had official segregation and I can
testify to many basic positive sociatal changes.
Some deeper attitudes remain , as you can see
in our current political regime. Their '' world view'' , as narrow
and misguided as it is , has it's roots in basically Southern
States and the Midwest states. They've just gone national.
I've heard your state of Queensland has basic the same qualities as some of our Southern states as far as prejudices.
As far as relationships , they along with society have changed
and faces new challenges and expectations. Many people
faced with more opportunities and potentials in their personal
lives have become a little self absorbed and hence many relationships are really two people trying to find their individual
paths through another. Many times this arrangement collapses.
Today there is a 50% divorce rate and most marriages last
about 5 years with young couples.
Intermarriage between the races was outlawed in the US
until the mid 1960s but since then there is much inter race
marriage . I don't think individuals among the races have any
less longevity as far as relationships go , though inter social
pressures can cause problems . Many couples of course
last for decades , a lifetime -there's just no real rule of thumb
to answer your question.
The black community has it's internal pressures and '' norms''
and can tend to be as narrow as white communities when it comes to interracial marriage.Most people still stay within the
group they grew up in.

Answer 6

It has nothing to do with the fact that you're black.
I think that maybe the person you were with may have lost her love for you and found someone else i was sort of in this situation but I'm also younger i was with a guy for about 2 yrs. and he kept accusing me of cheating on him and that pissed me off and i felt if he couldn't trust me then why be with him and live with this for the rest of my life after that i was with 2 different guys (not at the same time about a year apart) both of them cheated on me and i was only with them for about 2 months and I'm not even sure why i think people now are just so stuck on the fact of having something different or just not completely sure if the other person will be faithful people have been raised different sooner or later you will find the right person as bad as this hurt you, you should try your best to move on, you'll find this person when you least expect it. it does seem like no one is going to be there that long but we could be wrong once you find a girl that's truly dedicated to you she'll want to be with you forever.

Answer 7

To be honest with you alot of us "black ppl" are afraid of true love and commitment. However, there are a few of us that welcome love and all the good things that come with being in long-lasting relationships that end up in marriage. Life is too short to be unhappy, I found that out the hard way. so you have to live everyday as if it were ur last enjoy life, enjoy people pray and ask God to send you some1 that is to his liking not yours b/c that is the biggest reason why our relationships don't work out is b/c we try to pick the other person that we think is better for us. So good luck!!!

Answer 8

I have been in 3 serious relationships, the first lasting 4 years, the second lasting 4 1/2 years, the current I am married to him & we have been together going on 4 years. His parents have been together for at least 30 years, his grand parents were together for 50 years. I do believe that back then relationships lasted longer, but I think that your relationship will last as long as you work on it. Don't give up. & for crying out loud, comprimise....

Answer 9

dude its not about race or color its about scruples feelings and morals.. if you cant be with someone to long its for many reasons.. i knew black people married for yrs they had same beliefs and ways of life. some people aren't on same page some have issues some don't trust some are depressed some are greedy some are not ready some are immature and don't want a relationship some are pigs and its all about connection and how that person makes you feel and your moral code etc. Although I will say more and more any people text thru phones and IM's which to me is less human and getting away with being human and coma[passionate and socially skilled. I think that all sux. people are living to fast and don't want to share their time anymore.. they are more selfish and ready to hit the iggy button on life more than ever. tell ya something about people are getting worse to a degree and relationship skills are going to pot.

Answer 10

not sure about the why on the black thing,black or white or whatever, breakups and/or divorce is an equal opportunity employer.as far as the time? it's like living,some people live 100 pluss years some die at birth.
just can't tell or pinpoint a rule of time