My 3 year old cant hear no?

Question

My three year old cant hear the word no... and when he does he throws the biggest fit. It doesnt matter where we are...At home, in the car, in a store, anywhere. If he does not get his way, he throws him self on the ground, throw toys, hit, bites, punches, spits and screams. Time outs dont work, taking toys away does not work, putting him in the corner does not work. I have been given advise by family and friends NOTHING SEEM TO HELP. I do not know what to do anymore. He is being a horrible influence on my one year old. My one year old is now doing some of the things he does when he doesnt get his way either. I cant not go through this again with my one year old. Please help me someone if anyone has something that will help. thank you

Answer 1

Try something different.

I found my daughter hated getting embarrassed. We got her attention during one tantrum at the bus stop by walking around her pointing to her singing "tantrum tantrum"...

Answer 2

I don't know where you live but here where we live (upper east TN) we have what is called the R.I.P. (regional intervention program) which is basically a behavioral modification class for childre 2-5 years old. My son was the same way as yours is and someone suggested this class to us. It worked wonders and made my child into a different, contollable child. Its basis is pretty much that you have to earn what you get. in other words work=reward. They are required to do certain tasks such as work a puzzle and then they are allowed to say, play in the floor with toys, or they have to follow arule ( during snack if they got out of their chair the snack was put in the trash) They have a job to do and they are not allowed to do what they want until what is expected of them is done. The parents take a "class" too where they learn how to control behavior. The child and the parent(s) have to graduate the class together, no matter how long it takes. Maybe you could check and see if there is something like this in your area. It is a nationwide program and its free....you just have to graduate! good Luck.

Answer 3

It is because you give in so that he stops acting that way and you are not consistent. He knows that this works that is why he does it. The only way to break him is to say NO, mean NO, and DO NOT GIVE IN no matter how much the screaming, kicking, biting, is getting under your skin. Let him throw his fits and once he realizes that the fits no longer work he will stop doing it. Once you start doing this remember that it will get worse before it gets better. It will take some time but DO NOT GIVE UP. He's smart and knows you will give in before he will. Show him who's boss.


Nevada Girl has a great point, let them throw their fits at home but anytime you are in public, remove them immediately and let them throw their fits at home or in the car. Never allow it to go on in a public place because even if you are ignoring his behavior anyone else who is around will be paying attention to him, and he knows this. 3 year olds are smarter than we give them credit for. Not to mention allowing the fit to go on in public is usually slightly more than annoying to others around you.
Nevada Girls suggestion about the cold water sounds like it may work but I have never tried that one. But ignoring the behavior does work. In fact it is the only thing that i tried that actually did work.

Answer 4

I would recommend if he does it in public, then take him to the car (or home) immediately. I suspect he knows if he throws a big enough fit, he will get his way. If that is the case, you need to teach him that when you say no, you mean no and don't give in.

I am not sure if you want to do this, but I have read somewhere that if they are throwing a huge tantrum, you can pour a small up of cold water on them and it usually snaps them right out of it. The shock of the water brings them back to reality...

Good luck & don't give up.

Answer 5

Maybe... just maybe... don't say NO? Kids are an interesting lot when it comes to setting limits and boundaries. I'm not saying you should give in. But perhaps you may need to find another word that doesn't "trigger" the tantrum. Say "Later", "Not Now", "Ok, go ahead and hurt yourself if you want - I'll be here when you're done". Walk away cooly from the 'battleground' but keep your eye on him to make sure he doesn't endanger himself. One more thing - practise this at home until he gets it, then take it outdoors (at the store, at the restaurant, at playshool) Last thing you want to do is to embarass the little one's feelings.

Answer 6

my best suggestion for you is a book that I had suggested to be and it works, "magic 1-2-3" and the only reason that some of your other methods have failed is that you didn't stick to it. Kids are smart and they know how to push all the buttons and how to get what they want when they want it. When you and your partner are consistant with the form of disappline then the tantrims will subside but I swear by being consistant though. The book will give you stragies for the good and bad as well as how to reinforce the good with rewards and how to disappline in public which is what gets us the most....it is when we give in that gets us in the most trouble and when we give in they will push that to the limits as well, good luck

Answer 7

In my childhood development class a few years ago (as well as AP Psychology in high school), we learned about various developmental stages of children. One of them, Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt, occurs during around this age. Now that you know it's completely normal, I would suggest keeping firm limits on certain things, of course, but also give him the opportunity for AS MANY CHOICES AS POSSIBLE. This is what he is craving: autonomy. Before he demands something; beat him to it by offering him a choice. Saying "no" is never a good word to hear, at his age. Hopefully this will lessen the severity of the tantrums he throws when he *isn't* able to control something.

The one-year-old is bound to imitate his older brother; that won't change. As the three-year-old calms down, the one-year-old should, too. It is not necessary to give so many choices to the younger one, however; in fact, allow the three-year-old to aid in caring for the one-year-old as much as possible. It helps his sense of self, as well as encourages responsibility and accountability for his actions. He will see his actions directly effecting another person, which is always a good thing.

Answer 8

When he throws those tantrums ignore him. It might take a few days of ignoring but he'll get over it.
Tell him no and let him know you mean it and when he throws the tantrums ignore him. dont' give him any positive or negative attention.

Answer 9

THIS MIGHT SOUND CRUEL WHEN HE BITES PRETEND THAT YOUR GOING TO BITE HIM BACK, WHEN HE HITS , HIT HIM BACK ON HIS BUTT. HARD WHERE HE WILL FEEL IT. AND WHEN HE SPITS. SPANK HIS BUT. AND DO NOT GIVE IN. IF HE WANTS SOMETHING LET HIM SCREAM AND THROW A TANTRUM, IGNORE HIM, BUT MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T HURT HIMSELF. . BUT IF YOU HAVE BEEN GIVING HIM EVERYTHING HE WANTS. HE EXPECTS IT NOW. BUT BE STRONG DON'T GIVE IN WHEN HE WANTS SOMETHING. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 10

are u spoiling this up and coming monster!! take control now for god sake,or your life wont be worth the snot running down his face,you must show him "who's yer daddy" oh where is his daddy in all this he must show this budding menace how to behave so your young child will earn the respect of his peers