I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 years. lately we've been fighting not serious or anything but just little things. We were really close and then about a month ago we drifted apart. We still are together alot and do things but he's making me mad. he's been staying at my house for awhile.. he's kind of a slob. He doesnt pick up after himself, he gets mad at me for stupid things such as where his pants are and stuff. I'm getting tired of cleaning up after him all the time and hearing him yell at me for stupid things. I feel like I have no control in this relationship. 6 years ago it was great, just like all other relationships start out to be, but now its like I'm at loss for everything-its what he wants most times, I feel he never listens to me. HELP
2007-01-02 13:51:52 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The answer is NOT TO BREAK UP!!!
Every relationship needs communication! You may not be the type to be open or ur partner might not be... either way someone has to break the ice and get this whole situation made notice of. Your bf needs to know how ur feeling!!!
Tell him how ur feeling, tell him how you would like the relationship to be and think of suggestions as to how you are going to go about fixing the relationship, in all of this dont forget to ask ur bf how hes feeling about the relationship too as he might be feeling the same way if not worse.
Sometimes talking is not enough or to uncomfortable... try a different method.. be creative! Write him a letter, send an email, do whatever it takes to get it through to him that ur unhappy.
After and ONLY AFTER you have discussed ur feelings and his feelings and he refuses to help the relationship then tell him that ur not always going to be there for him and that breaking up will be an option but in no circumstance tell him these things when ur talking about ur feelings, it will be too over whelming for him.
You have 6 years behind ur belt... there should be at least another 50 years added to that.
2007-01-02 14:11:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you guys are going through what a lot of relationships go through. You're dealing with the daily habits of someone living with you, and in a lot of cases, that requires a good deal of compromise on both sides. It sounds like he's having the same issues, and these growing pains are causing you guys to fight over things that you could normally take care of without too many issues.
I recently went through this with my BF after he and I started spending more time living together. We both had habits that annoyed the heck out of each other, and both of us had to make moves to find that middle ground. It turned out that both of us needed space within the apartment, and we had a talk about what we needed the other to do in order to have things be okay. This shouldn't be an entire laundry list; instead, pick out two or three things that really bug you, (such as why his pants need to be on the floor/chair/wherever all the time) and have him do the same. Then see what you can both do to fix all the problems.
After you have that settled, remember to praise him everytime he does what you asked. Try not to sound condescending ("Awww, who picked up his pants? Was it you? It was youuuu." is probably bad.) but remember that positive reinforcement works best to get rid of negative actions.
If none of these work, or if he's simply not willing to try working on things, it's a good sign that you guys shouldn't live together or try for anything more until he matures a little--or, in worst case, not at all. In the mean time, find some 'me' time, take a bath, and if you feel like splashing water on anything, see if you can manuever his pants onto the bathroom floor line of fire. :)
2007-01-02 14:02:11 · answer #2 · answered by fairygothmommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I come home from work to a sink full of dishes. He was off all day and didn't even bother to give me a hand. It drives me crazy that he won't do the dishes!!
2016-05-22 21:30:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make your feelings known. Talk to him calmly and constructively about what is bugging you, and listen with an open mind to what is bugging him. If you find you can't resolve things in a way that will make you happy, you need to find what will make you happy.
2007-01-02 14:04:07 · answer #4 · answered by twogen1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I predict that one day you are going to return home to him with a blank stare after being properly turned out by another guy and that will be the end of it.
I think you can predict it too. End it.
2007-01-02 13:56:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't like what he's doing then you should break up with him. Or else he might think it's okay to annoy you because your not doing anything about it.
2007-01-02 13:56:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
hes probaly going through guy pms or hes upset bout something
2007-01-02 13:58:44 · answer #7 · answered by fun fun fun .... you know the rest 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
give it awhile, ask him if he wants to talk, maybe something happend, so dont dump him
but if the behavior persists, dump him!
2007-01-02 13:55:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
yep, kick him out, tell him that you aren't his maid, and you want a man to provide for you, not mooch off of you.
2007-01-02 13:56:21 · answer #9 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
KICK THAT SLOB TO THE CURB!
2007-01-02 13:53:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋