my boyfriend of four years is sweet, and charming, and i really love him....problem is he always seems to be telling me lies. usually its just little lies, but its still a problem. we were supposed to get together for new years eve, but then the day before new years eve he tells me he is in california for his friends wedding! he is supposedly there until wednesday. i dont even know for sure if he is there. right now im feeling like i dont even care if he is there or not. im just angry that he completely ditched me on new years eve to do who knows what with who knows who. i havent even heard from him since saturday night. i dont plan on calling him. this sucks because i love him and i wanted things to work out between us, but his lies and his rude bahavior make this so complicated. it seems like he thinks he can do whatever he wants and i just have to take it. should i stick around and hope things get better and maybe he will change, or should i tell him its over?
2007-01-02 13:45:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You've already wasted 4 years of your life on him DON'T WASTE ANYMORE. If your hoping to change him or thinking it will get better than get ready for a long hard road ahead of you. I used up 8 years of my life waiting for my husband to grow up & yes NOW I'm glad I did but it was hell. We have 12 years and 2 kids behind us now but do you really want to waste that kind of time on a person with no guarantees of wheter he'll even change. If you want to be his doormat by all means lay there and take it but there will come a time when you get sick and tired of all of it.
You have 2 options
1. Seperate NOW while he's gone. Screw him. You weren't important enough to keep a date with or inform you of his "friends wedding"
OR
2. Tell him flat out how this relationship is going to work. What you expect & what you won't put up with any longer. If he doesn't agree to this than let him go. If he does give him a trial period(don't tell him how long) if he screws up make him hit the road.
2007-01-02 14:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by mindy m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been dating for four years and he tells you from California he is there for a friends wedding instead of with you planning New Years Eve???? One would think after 4 years in a relationship that you would have not only have known about this wedding ahead of time you would have been there with him as well. Sounds like you really need to find out the true story and figure out just where you want to go from there. Four years is a longgggg time to be dealing with issues of lying… and believe me lying helps no relationship I don’t care who you are. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you found something fun to do on New Years and not sit alone somewhere sad and depressed. And what ever you do as hard as it might be DO NOT CALL HIM wait and see just how long he takes to contact you... no one deserves to be in a relationship where one thinks they can do whatever they want and the other has to take it.... that is just not right for you at all!!
2007-01-02 22:03:27 · answer #2 · answered by Karen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that after so long he is probably not as interested in your relationship as he once was. He most likely does love you and would not want to hurt you, hence the lies. But he probably doesnt really want to be with you anymore but does not want to tell you this for fear of hurting you. I would say when you see him next explain how you feel and suggest you both move on. See his reaction to that, if he loves you he wil stop the crap and do everything he can to keep you. Dont take put up with this though.
2007-01-02 21:55:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all, there's no wedding in Cali. No way he would go out there and not tell you before and invite you to go. And you definitly know he's lying, b/c he hasnt called you since. If he's still lying to you now after 4 years, he is no good. You might as well face it, he is not going to change. I was stuck in the same situation where i thought i could change my bf, but it never happened. If you keep holding on your basically wasting alot of time and you are going to drive yourself crazy. LET HIM GO!!!
2007-01-02 22:14:44 · answer #4 · answered by The One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell NO! He's just taking you for grante and I figure cause you have let him since you say 4 years. Who wants to be with a liar anyway. I would rather be alone myself. He shows you no respect. So why would you want to love someone who treats you like this.
2007-01-02 21:51:08 · answer #5 · answered by homesweethomediana@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to a man who turned out to be a chronic, pathological liar. Believe me, you have no future with these people. They will lie about whether bills were paid, tax forms sent in, you name it. Cut your losses now before you end up in a terrible marriage or have children with this guy.
2007-01-02 21:52:06 · answer #6 · answered by silverside 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people will only do to you what u allow them to do so stand up for yourself and stop letting him play you like your stupid if yall been together for 4 yrs and this friend was getting married shouldnt u know about it but when he come back i would ask him who it was and whats their # so u can call them and tell them congrats to see what his reaction is then u should know something
2007-01-02 22:02:10 · answer #7 · answered by lil lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did this wedding just come up out of no where? Why wouldn't he ask you to go with him? He's lying... It's time to move on.
2007-01-02 21:49:30 · answer #8 · answered by purpleflowers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know that he loves you, then you should threaten to break up with him. Just think that he may possibly be having an affair?
2007-01-02 21:54:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should break up with him..he sounds like a comlpete dick head. to me it sounds like he doesnt treat you the way you should be treated. and if he ditches you and he calls from another state then that is basically sayin **** you [[potty mouth lol]] yea so you need more respect for yourself.
2007-01-02 21:50:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋