my bf and i have been together for about a year and a half. about 6months into our relationship he broke up with me basically for another girl (other little factors but this was the main reason). We never stopped seeing each other but it was so hard on me...i tired to move on so many times but never could completely let go. well they saw each other for about a month and then stopped and we got back together officially. everything has been amazing since then he hasn't done anything like that since etc. i love him so much and i know he loves me and things are really starting to get serious we've talked about moving in together. the thing is i've never really gotten over the fact he left me for another girl even though its been almost a year since. do you think i should stay with him since we are so perfect together and i do love him and want to be able to trust him...or should i just move on?
2007-01-02 13:25:37 · 3 answers · asked by bob123456789 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To begin with, I don't really see what he did as infidelity. It isn't like he didn't have a right to leave you for another girl, as long as he was honest with you.
On the other hand, you don't want this to happen again. So, I think you need to understand why it happened the first time.
Maybe, he is more attracted to this other girl, and decided to settle for you, only because she is unavailable. If that is what is happening, the more secure he feels with you, the more likely he is to do it again. In other words, moving in with him might actually prompt another episode. If that is what is going on, you need to move on.
On the other hand, if he was attracted to this other girl for reasons that he has since decided were superficial, and he has decided that he was foolish to ever leave you in the first place, your relationship might be worth pursuing.
Another possibility is that he was reacting to a fear of commitment, or some other issue, that he has since resolved.
It is impossible for me to decide what you ought to do, based solely on the information you provided. You need to do some investigating. Find out why he left you, and why he returned. If he doesn't want to discuss it, treat that as a red flag.
2007-01-02 14:10:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't have a serious relationship without trust and you can't trust someone just because you want to. you do, or you don't. you can work on it, but it's not as easy as deciding to do it.
my advice - do not move in together until you are capable of that trust. tell him you love him and want to move in together but you still have some trust issues you need to work on first. then get to work on them. it's been a year now with no reason to doubt him. i wish i could give you a magic formula on how to work on building trust, but the best i can tell you is talk about things... any and all things. what it will take only you can judge.
2007-01-02 21:34:59 · answer #2 · answered by gwenwifar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i gotta say "move on" sister....when a man cheats on you even just one time...its not worth getting back together no matter how good you are both connected...if you do stay with him he for sure will cheat on you again, every man who cheats always wanna try a new fish becuase he knows how the old fish wont get any better, sometimes they just get tired of loving the same woman all the time. so theres no way to trust this guy ever.
2007-01-02 21:38:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋