The root of my depression....?

Question

I have depression and the root of it is my grandma and older brother. My older brother is 24, bipolar, does drugs, has no job, lives with my grandma, steals from our family, and just plain lazy. He is going to get social security and he acts like he needs it so bad, when I think he is just lazy, he admitted it to me. He says he's anti social yet he goes to Cleveland Brown games with tons of people and is okay and hangs out with friends everyday. My grandma gets $800 dollars a month for social security and buys him 2 packs of cigarettes a day and his food and pays for his drug habit. My grandma never has money so my mom has to buy her groceries because my grandma is stupid and a pushover. My mom spends hours a day filling out paperwork for my brother, shopping for grandma, and taking my brother places. I'm depressed and I hate them with a passion. We have to sacrifice stuff sometimes because my grandma needs stuff. What can I do to let my mom see they are the problem?

I would stop being depressed if she lost all contact with them. They call over 10 times a day, and I can't stand it anymore. My mom gets in a bad mood because they always need her, then I do. My granny has 6 other kids and she only comes to my mom who is the only one with kids still in the house.

Answer 1

I have a slogan, you cannot change people, but you can exchange them. In your case, live your life, let mom live hers, sometimes when you drop out, it might start an idea in her, but probably not. You'll get older, move out , far out preferably, and have your own life. If you are lucky you will remember this education and not try to save the relatives. Its called co dependency, the co means your brother, granny and mom and all equally sick, and playing the same game on each other. When you get sucked in, then you are sick too. Good examples of this are on soap operas every day. I can't watch. love ya.

Answer 2

Find the google Elder for your state. Clearly your Grandmother is being financially victimized by your brother. Gamdma probably comes to your mom because its her child that is causing the problem. The social services can do a financial appraisal on your Grandmothers finances. Suggest that a aunt or uncle start handling your Grandmothers affairs. Obviously your mother and Grandmother don't have the back bone to kick your brother out.

Answer 3

Let your family know how you feel in a nonjudgmental way. Offer some suggestions such as family therapy or getting another relative to handle G'mas finances. They may or may not change their behavior because of their own problems, not because they don't care about you. If they can't change, do whatever you can to get out of that toxic environment, and get some therapy so this doesn't screw you up for the rest of your life.

Answer 4

About 40 % of the human being suffer genetic discrepancies to withstand depression. You need medication prescribed by a psychiatrist.

Answer 5

Well, set your foot down. Just go on and tell your mom straight forward that you're tired of this! Tell her what you just told US in your question--let her know that you're suffering.

And I suggest you see counceling for a little bit, not because your crazy, but because you really need someone to talk to. Also, a therapist for your brother. He really needs it.

Answer 6

mom already knows, but here is the deal, mom sees it as this, her mother took care of her so know she feels that its her place to take care of her mom, once your mom is older and you are as well, you will also feel compelled to provide for her as she has for you, and your daughter will do the same for you, as far as the freeloader,your gram shouldnt have to suffer and be cut off from your mom because she has a big heart, its like the old rich guy with the playboy model wife, they both know whats up, shes there for his money, and he is there for the hottie and buying her, they are both getting something out of it, you and i dont agree, but its not our decision, hopefully gram wakes up to being used

Answer 7

maybe sitting down and just telling her what you wrote would be a good start.. try talking to a counsler too it really helps my boyfriend is bipolar and has severe depression but going out and talking to someone who will just listen and give him advice without criticizing him helps a lot

Answer 8

your mom know, but she is just not ready to admit., seek consulting and go to school get a good job move away

Answer 9

seek counseling