How do i tell the person that gave me herpes that i have it?

Question

Im soOo depressed because after i carelessly slept with a guy who i have been falling hard for, i instantly got a herpes breakout. I feel like my life is over and just cannot carry this burden by myself. I rarely talk to him now because i've just built up a wall of shame. Today he called and i answered and he exclaimed how he "didn't know what he did wrong?", & just I told him i am just really protecting my heart and have been majorly depressed here lately, but i have yet to tell him why. My best friend has over and over arrogantly told me how i need to tell him.. but she makes it sound like it's the easiest thing in the world. Im now a victim of his mistakes and am having to pay the price. And please if none of ya'll have read up on this, then dont answer. It's a very private and personal matter and you just be considered lucky that you havent found that you have it...

Im almost positive it was him. I've known him for years and way back he was known for his permiscous ways. I too am very permiscous i guess, but i always got checked after any sexual expedition that i had. I was a Freak about get check-ups and donating blood. There's one other guy that i slept with inbetween my last check up and him, but i am the type of person that gets frequent skin problems that are out of this world. My Dermatologist is my best friend practically! And it just makes sense considering how he has this history and my skin re-acted soO fast to it. I dont want to put all the blame on him, but i know i should tell him. Im just Scared... my best friend reacted arrogantly about it, and im terrified he will too.-- Continue with ur answers, it's helping and I'll be sure to give ya'll an update of his response...

Ps: I found that it is something that can be cause immediately from intercourse

Answer 1

Hi,
First of All, you are not a monster. You are not a bad person. In Most Cases,there are treatments out there than can help keep the situation at hand under control. My Personal Opinion in reguards to telling this individual that you contracted Herpes from him.....You need to NOT try to think about the presentation and/or delivery... as much as the Timming!! each minute that goes by, is time for him to potentially infect someone else. Especially, if he doesn't know himself. (which I'm assuming he doesn't in retrospect to his conserns to your non-responsiveness towards him.) I believe that.you need to just plain and simply (not that it is simple by any means!) tell him the TRUTH. After sleeping with him, you recently discoverd that youv'e contracted the Herpes Virus. So Too Speak.
Just look at it like this way hun, no matter how your presentation to him sounds.... Just get the message across to him.. i.e. letter, e-mail, phone call etc. and you should know in your heart that you did the right thing. This way, the A.S.A.P. approach, right,wrong or indifferent......will not only be a burden off your Whole being, but can also help protect pottential partners of this individual, and also, This male friend in question (If he honestly doesn't know he has/had it?
I hope this helps you in the upmost way. Hold your head up high. You are going to be alright!!!! Honesty is the best policy, and you should not get down on yourself for this finding. Your Mental State Of Mind, Will help your Physical State Of Mind.

Sincerely,
HooYah

Answer 2

First of all if you slept with him and instantly had an outbreak then he probably didn't give it to you. Generally it takes time for an outbreak. But either way, it's not his fault as much as yours for not using protection. That is the part that I'm guessing is bothering you the most. You are feeling stupid. He is wrong if he didn't tell you but think of what you are going thru now. I'm sure that in his mind he was terrified that you would find out and not like him if he told you. I am also sure that he was confident that you probably wouldn't get it because he wasn't having a current outbreak. Of course that isn't true but a lot of people out there believe it is. Having herpes isn't the end of the world. There are medications that will keep you from hardly ever having outbreaks. There are far worse things like HIV out there. From now on you have to be smart about protection. And having a conversation with him might not be a bad idea. There is the chance that he doesn't know he has it. There is also the possibilty that he is a carrier only without actual symptoms. Talk to him. Then read as much as you can, go to the doctor ask lots of questions. The shame will lessen over time.

Answer 3

You say this is a very private and personal matter but you come here to confess your feelings about it? You are not a victim of his mistakes, you are a victim of YOUR mistakes.
I know this is a very hard STD to deal with. The first thing you need to wonder is how do you know for sure where you got them. From what I have read about herpes is that you can carry the virus for a very long time and never have an outbreak. So unless this was your 1st, one and only lover I would be careful who you point the finger at. You may end up going through a lot more embarrassment then you even thought. BUT if he was and is the only one should have told your doctor and left it up to the doctor to figure out what to do with the information.You need to worry about you right now, you know that if would be unfair for you to have sex with anyone without telling them , don't you? Like I said you can pass this virus the same way as it was passed to you.

Answer 4

First, I would make sure that you got it from him. Don't place the blame without being 100% sure. If he's the only one you've been with lately then, yeah it's probably him. (I think that you can have herpes for awhile without having a breakout.) I would then ask him if he had had any ST D's before or anything like that. Then I would say that the reason that I haven't been talking to him is that since you slept with him that you have gotten a breakout. Explain that it is really important that you figure this out and he needs to inform people of this problem before he has unprotected sex with them. Just be prepared that he may totally deny it and use it against you and tell people that you're dirty etc. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

I got clinically diagnosed with herpes simplex virus (type 2) about 3 years ago, whilst I was still attending college and had a mindless one-night stand. I realize loads of young women say this, but I swear I had never done that sort of thing before. I just made a mistake that one time and all of a sudden I felt like I was going to have to live with the consequences for the rest of my life. The hardest part was feeling I could never date men again. After all, who wants to go out with a girl that has sores around her private parts? But since a friend shared this movie https://tr.im/xXzaL everything got better.

Not only was I able to clear away all traces of the herpes simplex virus from my system in less than three weeks, but I was also able to begin dating again. I even met the guy of my dreams and I'm so blessed to write that just a week ago, in front of everybody in a crowded restaurant, he got down on one knee and proposed to me!! This program provided me the opportunity to be happy and experience true love again. Now I want to help others too by sharing this story.

Answer 6

I do know how you feel, believe me. I was married and had a child already when I found out that I have HPV. I don't know how much you know about HPV, but it is very similar to Herpes. HPV caused the pre cancerous cells in my cervix. I couldn't exactly blame my husband for giving it to me because I was very sexually active before we met. Yet, I had to tell my husband that I now have this STD that can affect him in more ways than one. I could potentially leave my child without a mother because of my slutty ways before she was born. I do understand the desire to not tell anyone, believe me. But as far as the guy who gave it to you, he does seem to be truely concerned about you. Maybe what you should do is ask him to come over to your place so you can talk to him. Here's the thing. If he gave it to you, he may not even know that he has it and he does need to know that. I'm not saying this to be a jerk, but if he gave it to you, he could be giving it to anyone and not even realizing it. I say that because if you just continue turning him away, he will leave eventually. That is a definate. But if you are honest with him and tell him the truth and explain that this is why you have been so depressed, it will make a lot more sense to him and maybe it is something that you can work through together. Either way, you need to start living again. There are millions of people out there with this infection and they are living happy healthy lives in spite of it. I'm not saying that it's easy, just nesecary. Also, talk to your doctor about how you have been feeling ever since you found out about this. I'm sure they can refer you to a therapist or a support group for other people afflicted with this. There is no need for you to suffer alone. I truely hope that you find the inner strength to get through this. Good Luck!

Answer 7

I am absolutely terrified and I feel so alone. I just found out last week that I tested positive for hsv1 and 2. I have been with the same man for the past 10 years and within the last year found out that he has cheated on me with numerous women. I am so scared that I can give it to my children by kissing them and them eating with me...I feel like my whole life has changed. And even though the nurses, my doctor, and websites say that a lot of people have it I still feel like I am by myself. My self esteem has dropped and I feel like I have been used up. But now, My life is very happy.

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Answer 8

Herpes has an incubation period of 10-28 days, with the very first breakout for women being so mild that many women do not know that they have herpes until subsequent breakouts. If your breakout was "instantly", one has to wonder if this current guy was the source of your infection. Also, if he was truly the one who gave you the herpes, he obviously must know that he has herpes and should be wise enough to know that he probably has passed it along to you -- and so I wouldn't be concerned about telling him and his reaction, but he should be more concerned about your reaction from contracting it from him.

Answer 9

if your better half has HSV1 (Oral Herpes Simplex Virus) there is a hundred% no thank you to maintain you from getting it in case you kiss. the comparable would be reported for genital herpes, as maximum folk boost into contaminated with it with out symptoms of a virus, or infect those with out ever understanding they're contaminated. No quantity of saran wrap or condoms will provide help to, herpes simplex would be surpassed comfortably with out penetration in many approaches. positioned money into some Valtrex, decrease out the goodies and sugars, and warding off herpes outbreaks is way less complicated. do no longer positioned any inventory into maximum of those comments, agencies of HSV are extra possibly to contaminate yet somebody else while seeing no symptoms of a virus, the two genital and oral.

Answer 10

Send the jerk a thank you card for doing that to you! You sound as though you are the person who was uncaring, unthinking and selfish. He took you to bed and gave you herpes and you feel sorry for him? Wake up girl, get to a clinic and get medical attention and get better AND stay away from him. God knows what else he might give you!!! Good Luck............