I will be 21 in Feb and my husband is 23 and we have a 2 year old son and a 4 month old daughter and I am debating on having anymore children! I would probably wait until my daughter was 1 1/2 - 2 before I would want another child, I'm stuck, my husband doesn't want anymore but I think I want one more and I really don't know what to do! With me wanting one more I don't want this to cause fusion with our marriage, what should I do?
2007-01-02 12:19:43 · 7 answers · asked by Nikki N 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
You just brought your baby home and I'm sure Dad is tired and kind of worn out emotionally. Now is not the time to be discussing any further additions to the family. My suggestion is to get on a dependable birth control program (the pill worked best for me...you get in the habit, backup with condoms if you're prescribed oral antibiotics, and you're good to go) and enjoy your two beautiful children. In 2-3 years, your oldest will be starting preschool and becoming very independant. That's the time to discuss any other children. Things change drastically when kids start school. If you work second shift, you won't see them hardly at all once they're in first grade. If you work first shift or are a stay at home mom you will get a break from the kids during the day. You will either enjoy the break and say I'm Done!! or you'll start missing the infant stage and want another one. That is the time to talk to your husband. Once you AGREE you are done, he can go to the doctor's office and get a vascectomy. They do it in the office so there's very little recovery time. I would suggest having him getting sterilized because if you want to have a child after a few years, the doc can still use his sperm to get you pregnant. Also, (I hate to even mention it, but it's possible) if something unforeseen should happen and you get with someone else that wants a baby, you will be able to. You are still very young and have many childbearing years ahead of you. Don't rush through them and then regret what you've decided.
Good luck to you and Blessings
2007-01-02 13:59:32 · answer #1 · answered by Silverwolf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one could ever possibly tell you if you should have more children or not. I personally think you should wait. You are both young and two children is a lot for anyone to handle. Perhaps wait until your youngest is two or three and then you can think about it. That way your children will be older and you can handle a newborn easier. Talk to you husband about it openly and honestly. Tell him that you would really like him to consider having another child. Something for you to discuss in the future together. But if it was me I would want more than two children. I think three or four is a good number. That's just me though. Good luck.
2007-01-02 20:41:37 · answer #2 · answered by panthergoddess_92499 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd just let it be right now and don't try to push anything into happening. A lot can change in a year's time - you could change your mind or he could.
When my husband and I were dating, he already had 2 sons and said he wanted no more kids. Later, he said he would want more kids, but not for a while. Then we were both thinking 6 kids (including the 2 he already had), and now he is trying to up the number more without consulting me!
So, things can change.
2007-01-02 20:37:06 · answer #3 · answered by f319 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All children should have the love and devotion of both parents. Having a child without this could create many regrettable situations. Give your husband some time and do not press the issue.
2007-01-02 20:25:36 · answer #4 · answered by Monita Marler 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait until closer to time to creating the third child and sit down and talk to your husband about it again. A lot can change in a year. Explain your side to him and have him explain his side to you. If he does not want more don't get pregnant it will cause rift and resentment. In the meantime, go see your doctor and get on a good birth control. I recommend the shot it's 99.98% accurate in the prevention of pregnancy.
2007-01-02 20:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by blueflash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how you are financially. Are you all good? Do you have your education? Do you have insurance to have these babies or are you on state aid? Personally that made a big part in my decision. I had 2 with my husband and he wanted another. We had no security financially and were always having to borrow money and kids were on state aid. I told him no. Just don't do it. Until we get more financially secure, just don't.
Sometimes you have to make a responsible decision.
2007-01-02 20:38:09 · answer #6 · answered by Karen 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Raise what you got and enjoy your later years as the kids leave. Believe you me, two in tow is pleanty and you already have one of each, what more could you want?
2007-01-02 20:23:47 · answer #7 · answered by Patches6 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋