Theres this girl, Bec, that i have known and liked for the last 3-4 yrs. To be honest i probably love her.
About 18 months ago i decided to try my luck. We went out a bit, sometimes alone, but mostly in a group. A few months down the line and in a big (and some would say foolish) attempt to win her over completely i took her to New York (I live in UK!). This wasn't the success i had hoped for and we lost touch for a few months whilst i got my head round things.
Eventually we got back in contact and started seeing one another as friends. And we're now probably closer than ever before.
Now recently I have been seeing quite a bit of another female friend of mine, just as friends, but we are also close. She's quite a new friend in comparison and there were a few rumours flying about that we were seeing each other.
Thats when I get a txt from bec saying I could do a lot better than her. Now friends of ours are suggesting she might be a bit jealous and that i should ask her out again...
2007-01-02 11:59:20 · 13 answers · asked by magic_eightball83 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We're both pretty shy at heart... but i am usually one to say regret what you do not what you don't. I just don't want to lose her as one of my best friends
2007-01-02 12:06:04 · update #1
You should finally put your cards on the table and speak to her. I would prefer to ask her out and be rejected than not ever knowing what if. Life is too short for regrets. So ask her out!!
2007-01-02 12:04:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Y'know, it's something like women give off 52 signals when flirting and men only give off 10. You probably don't do enough and she doesnt do enough... you both are guessing and i think you really need to make some sort of list...perhaps write it down. What do you like about each other them? who are you prepared to work for? who would you miss the most if either of them left for good? no doubt...probably Bec right? Well- if that is the case you needn't see less of your new friend but perhaps make it clear to her, without words, that you see her more often. A woman wont' turn you down if you're genuine and honest, a woman appreciates confidence and kindness, why don't you just sit her down and tell her how it is in an non pressurising and non patronising way? be gentle about it, and tell her EXACTLY how it is. even from the beginning. as you're both closer than ever, it may even be easier.
i know that if i asked you, what have you got to lose, you could list a whole bunch of stuff. But i think you'll have more to lose when she ups and decides shes waited long enough. and it also sounds like perhaps she IS jealous of this supposed new relationship of yours. which is why you need to make it clear to her. also find out if that new friend is starting to like you- because you got to make it clear to her too!
always go by this, seize the moment because you don't know what the next corner holds.
hope that gives you some sort of encouragement!
soukmun
2007-01-02 13:03:54 · answer #2 · answered by soukmun 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever told her how you feel? Do you think she is attracted to you? Does she tell you about other guys or any guy in particular? These are all the things to look out for.
If you strongly feel that she may be attracted to you and she hasn't been talking about other guy(s), then maybe you should brave it and tell her how you feel.
pls note: if it backfires, you may lose touch again for a while but i don't think you would lose your friendship entirely...u sound close
Good luck!!
2007-01-02 12:13:52 · answer #3 · answered by robert 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hand her a 3-pack of condoms after the meal and wine and say, "I would really like you to open one for me."
If she doesn't spew up, Laugh and say, "Hehehehe. Sorry about that - but I really like you and want to sleep with you. Pleeeaaaase."
If she does spew up - 'phone a taxi and drop her off before heading for the bar. Then 'phone her three days later and ask if she wants to go for a meal (if yes, take a 3-pack ....).
Persistence with humour and genuine sincerity is a valuable attribute required for "getting on with one another".
Happy New Year.
2007-01-02 12:18:41 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Robin♥ (Scot,UK) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your friend one last try, if nothing happens this time, then its not meant to be, sometimes women can be jealous of other girls even though they dont actually want the man in question, so all you can do is ask!
2007-01-02 19:28:52 · answer #5 · answered by Unhinged.... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would date this other girl if you like her, or maybe look to date other people. Seeing as you declared your feeling for Bec last time, it's up to her to approach you if she's changed her mind but it sounds like she doesn't know what she wants.
2007-01-02 12:11:14 · answer #6 · answered by noisymilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not ruin your friendship with Bec since you lost touch if down the road it turns into more then so be it !
2007-01-02 12:07:34 · answer #7 · answered by jenja 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her mess you around. I have been in a very similar situation and it bloody hurt in the end. If that girl wants to be with you she would should have told you by now. Let her get jealous. Go out and have fun mate. Don't let her dictate your life.
2007-01-02 12:03:47 · answer #8 · answered by del 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should ask her out again but don't take such drastic measures by taking her to NY. and i bet she is jealous, if she likes you. well let me rethink this. maybe you should ask her about getting together and if that doesn't appeal to her than don't. or maybe you should ask her if she likes you more than a friend. how does that sound?
2007-01-02 12:05:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sort of thinking that if you've known each other all that time and you're not together yet, then it isn't meant to be.
2007-01-02 12:02:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋