In what ways are Christians open to dialogue with members of the Gay community?

Question

If no bridge can be built between Christians and Gay people, or if the bridge is open only if gay people meet Christians' conditions either to deny their feelings exist or to pledge celibacy, the the gap between the two groups will be permanent.

What can you imagine would be the beginning point for a conversation between Christians and members of the Gay community? Can you imagine a world in which both groups are transformed through conversation?

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JUDY R:
Because the largest denominations in the United States (Roman Catholic, Southern Baptists, United Methodists), when combined with the various fundamentalist sects, represent the majority of the country's Christians, and in their social theologies uniformly condemn homosexuality, then I don't think that asking Christians how they'd be willing to dialogue with members of the Gay community is an unreasonable question as asked.

Answer 1

I am an MCCer so there is no conflict in my denomination between Gay and Christian.

Many of my fundamentalist Christian brothers and sisters suffer from doctrinal and dogmatic elitism. This manifests itself in bigotous comments and behavior.

Bigotry is only overcome by exposure and education contrary to the sterotypes that the bigotry stems from.

The more people that come out of the closet and live openly as who God created them to be; gay, Bi, Trans etc., the more straight allies will evolve. The HIV/Aids epidemic is a fantastic example. Since the disease is now recognied as an "anybody" disease instead of the old concept of being a "gay" disease, most churches are embracing supporting HIV/Aids treatment and prevention programs as well as church based care teams for those affected.

The other side of the coin is our Christian Allies need to come out of the closet as allies. For them to do this they need to know that "we" (the gay community) has their back. Too often our allies get discouraged because we won't stand up for ourselves. Matthew Shepards mom is a great example. She was and is on the front lines of promoting Hate Crimes legislation. Too often she is in front of legislators lobying and the local gay community is too afraid or unwilling to stand there with her. We leave her an our other allies alone blowing in the wind while we sit at the local clubs and fundraisers whining and crying some one shoud do something.

Ultimately, much blame rest on us, the gay community. If I do not stand up proud of who I am as a beloved child of God, why should I expect anyone else to think that I am a beloved child of God.

Answer 2

The difficulty is that both sides tend to approach the other with a view to confirming their own positions. Neither is particularly interested in the possibility of their own transformation, merely the transformation of the opposing position.

Coming from the pro-gay perspective, I'm probably no different in this respect. If the Christian position is as you've outlined (and in reality there are many Christian positions) then I have little to discuss. I won't deny my feelings, and I've never seen or heard any convincing moral argument for compulsory celebacy that evolves from a premise I share. I simply can't accept Leviticus and Paul as unquestionably authoritative aout my life, but this seems to be about all the moral thinking available from some religious conservatives.

My own moral imperatives are humanist. I would like to see a world where gay kids grow up with a positive and affirming model of their sexuality. At present the most visible models for kids are the bullying and intellectual vacuousness of religion contrasting with the commoditization of sexuality of the commercial gay scene. Neither are terribly sustaining, but I believe the first is extremely toxic and an impossible base on which to build a mature sense of sexual self. Most people find a way to move on from the second, or to put it in perspective.

In some ways the gap you speak of is a sad thing. At its best, Christianity can have a great deal to say about human dignity and love. Unfortunately, at this stage the brand appears to have been hijacked by zealots who have little real interest in the wellbeing of gay people, and whose main interest is in confirming their own ego positions.

No doubt some Christians would say the same about me.

Answer 3

Beginning? I’m sorry but if you believe that all Christians think like this, then it’s you that’s choosing not to join in the dialogue, not the countless Christians who are already building the bridges and extending a hand.

Fact is, you are never going to get all Christians to agree with you. I’m a woman. Think I can get all men to believe that I’m their equal. I have a Southern (US) accent. Do you know how many people make judgments about me whenever they hear my voice?

My advice to any gay person who has an earnest desire to become better understood by Christians, find a local church where you will be accepted and get involved. The more Christians who get to know you as a person, the more you influence understanding. Sure you will likely encounter some unpleasant reactions, but most of us deal with unpleasant reactions for one reason or another.

(POV of a Christian whose dialogue with members of the gay community generally begin when somebody picks up the telephone or writes an e-mail.)

Answer 4

Aren't you the one with the gay pastor? And you *still* believe that homosexuality is a sin? People make the Bible say whatever they want it to. That article is an excellent example. I suggest you sit down and read it for yourself. Anyway, like I said the last time I answered this exact question, I know not all Christians hate gays. I do consider calling homosexuality a "sin" hatred since it tells a person that a fundamental element of their character is morally corrupt and depraved and requires correction. If that's not hate, I don't know what is. Fortunately, not all Christians believe like you. Some ignore or twist their Bible to fit 21st century moral standards, which in my opinion is better than being stuck in the 15th century- the lesser of two evils, if you will.

Answer 5

I am of the opinion that christianity is too broad of a term to use in defining religion. Why can't a gay person be a christian? Why can't a gay person accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior? I think it is crazy that this is even an issue. I grew up in a very homophobic home. Then I grew up and made some really great friends. Imagine my shock to find out a lot of my best friends are gay. All of the gay people I know are very loving, open-minded, humorous and intelligent. They are well spoken. This is what "christians" should be. I laugh at those who say that people choose to be gay. Maybe a small percent of people choose to be, but I ask you this. . .who are we to judge what challenges God would give someone in this life? I am not gay. I dearly love all my gay friends. Yes, some of them believe in Jesus Christ. They live their life the best they can. Shame on all thpse who cannot get past their own egos to realize that gay people are children of God too. He loves them and that should be good enough for you.

Answer 6

I think the dialogue can begin when Christians realize that one sin is not different from another sin. Should someone be kicked out of church because they gossip? hold grudges? lust in their heart? Church is for people to worship God. We can't cast stones and decide who God "approves" of and who he doesn't. We're all in the same boat in that we're lost without Christ. An alcoholic, a prostitute, the worst person alive that goes to church is seeking God. We cannot judge another person's place on that journey. Gay people should realize that a christian's opposition to him or her comes from a sincere desire to please God and also that they are not going to change some people's minds no matter what. Your journey to God may take a different path than theirs but take courage. Things do change, I've lived long enuf to see that. People are becoming more tolerant every day. Why it used to be considered a sin for a woman to wear pants to church, can you imagine that? I don't know if that addresses your question as to where to start dialogue, but the right attitude on both sides is important. Live by what you believe is right not by what others believe you should.

Answer 7

I have a homosexual brother-in-law whom I like and care for very much.

I can not and will not condone or accept his choice of sexual expression. Let me add that I feel the same way about a heterosexual's choice to live a hedonistic life style.

That said. A real Christian can and should have a dialog with anyone, but would never be able to the compromise and accept the life-style.

The same would apply to atheists, we could talk, but the belief system would be diametrically opposite. A bridge couldn't be built to span the gap.

Answer 8

The beginning would be for Christians to acknowledge the mountain of evidence attesting to the normalcy of homosexuality. They could try opening themselves up to avenues of thought that don't involve appealing to baseless "deific" condemnation. They could consider the fact that virtually every psychological authority on the face of the planet have been telling us for the better part of 4 decades, and in no uncertain terms, that homosexual orientation is normal, natural, healthy and not in the least bit a mental illness.

Then again, if scripture is the only thing they recognize as worthy of their attention, they should consider the fact that the Bible doesn't say nearly as much about loving, committed monogamous same sex relationships.

The passages in Leviticus (18:22 and 20:13), understood IN THE CONTEXT of the time and place, are not an admonishment against loving sexual relationships between people of the same sex but instead against sex as a form of domination and control. Besides, these passages are part of the Holiness Code which is not binding to modern day Christians (or anyone else for that matter).

The story of Sodom and Gomorrah was a warning against rape, inhospitality and xenophobia. The reason for Sodom's destruction is made clear in Ezekiel 16:48-50: pride, laziness, being inhospitable, neglecting the needs of the poor, greed, and idolatry (the worshiping of idols). Nothing about homosexuality is mentioned. If Jude 1:7 describes anything about the sexual immorality and perversion in Sodom and Gomorrah, it's describing RAPE.

1 Corinthians 6:9 was a mistranslation of the word "malakee". It's used elsewhere in the Bible to mean someone who lacks discipline or one who is morally weak, and never is it used in reference to sexuality or gender.

1 Timothy 1:9-10? Also a mistranslation. 1 Timothy was an admonishment against male prostitution, not committed, loving same sex relationships.

The words "physin" and "paraphysin" in Romans 1:26-27 have also been mistranslated. Contrary to popular belief, the word "paraphysin" does not mean "to go against the laws of nature", but rather implies action which is uncharacteristic for that particular person. An example of the word "paraphysin" is used in Romans 11:24, where God acts in an uncharacteristic (paraphysin) way to accept the Gentiles. When the scripture is understood correctly, it implies that it would be unnatural for heterosexuals to live as homosexuals and for homosexuals to live as heterosexuals.

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Short of demonstrating the meaning of the scripture, I suppose we could assign each Christian a gay buddy for a month to show them that gay people are just people. I'm not saying we force Christians to hang around for gay sex or anything, but to see just how "unscary" gay people are (sorry for using a made-up word).

Answer 9

Many Christian denominations have already welcomed homosexuals, bisexuals, and transgendered Christians into their congregations. Others are still struggling internally over the issue. Eventually it will be impossible for all but the most hateful and unsympathetic people to deny that homosexuality harms no one, and as it harms none, it is immoral to persecute homosexuals.

Answer 10

I don't think that there is any gap in the dialogue between a gay person and a Christian. A Christian is someone who loves the Lord and knows that he died for their sins and wants to live as though they love him. Because they know that he loved them in their sin they know that he loves all sinners and they want to tell them that the message of repentance is for all.