I am having a terrible time coping about a guy I was with for a year and half. When we were together he told me he wanted to commit suicide. It was an ongoing issue so I recommended he talk to a professional but he wanted to talk to only me. I tried my hardest to help him. Come to find out he kept a secret that he had a child he never met w/ a one night stand before we met. I helped him come to terms with it and when he finally met the child he ended our relaionship to pursue one with the mother of his child. I found all this out when I was in the hospital this past summer. I was pretty ill and the response I got was never to call him again. And there after he manipulated me into thinking I aided him into going back to the mother because I told him he should be a part of his child's life. They are not together anymore. But I am having an awful time dealing with how he treated me after I helped him with his serious threats of suicide. Ironically, i'm seeking prof. help b/of this:(
2007-01-02 11:28:19 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Please don't let this "guy" manipulate you any further. It's only natural that you feel betrayed. And it hurts. You invested your emotional time in him & subsequently became emotionally involved, especially after the bull**** he fed you.
But the encouraging news is that when you get over him (and you will), you'll be alot stronger and more aware. Bear in mind; this may take time, but you can consider this: what kind of a person does this to another person?? I know this won't take away the pain, but consider the source. Instead of feeling blue, try to focus your energy in you, for example, go back to school & take a course, join a group, do something for YOU.
Been there; done that.
Best of luck to you
2007-01-02 11:43:42 · answer #1 · answered by mustangbethie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have become aware of his inborn weakness during that year and a half.. then expect it to involve you eventually. It did and now you are spending too much time thinking about it. It eventually must come down to you getting ready to live the rest of your life without encumbering it with experiences from the past. When you let it go (forgive him his weaknesses) you Will be better prepared to face life in the coming years. Continuing to discuss it with anyone only keeps it on the front burner of your life and prevents you from letting it go.
2007-01-02 11:47:46 · answer #2 · answered by mrcricket1932 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first, I am glad you are seeking professional help. Anyone who manipulates you, blames you, and otherwise makes it "your fault' for things he chooses to do is not the man for you. Someone wishing to commit suicide is NEVER your fault. What one chooses to do with their own bodies is between themselves and their higher power. I know that if you chose to commit suicide you would not call him first and tell him it was his fault, would you? So why are you allowing him to blame you for things that are his problems? He showed you who he is - he's a man who doesn't take his responsibilities (his child) seriously; he doesn't care that you were seriously ill and in the hospital, except, I am guessing, as to how that affected him; and now you are worrying about him still. He is a manipulative jerk. There are real men out there, ones who don't have to jerk you around to love you. Get over this one and love yourself first above all others - anyone who treats you like that doesn't deserve your loyalty. In Al-Anon they say "Once someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!" Believe him!
2007-01-02 11:36:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will help to talk, I suggest you also let yourself fully experience any feelings you get... because that way you are rid of them.
In other words, you shouldn't run from feeling bad, it's necessary and will go away, but only if you let it.
You let it go by accepting, and experiencing your feelings completely. Also... any desire for things to have happened other than what was the case, will cause constant thinking over of the past... so just accept it.
2007-01-02 11:51:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you meet the love of your life, you will thank god he left and became somebody else's problem...he freed you to find someone who is deserving of your love and loyalty!!! don't let him rob you of any more of your time or devotion....now is the time to focus on yourself and heal and be ready for a real relationship with a real man....pamper yourself and do things that interest you and bring you joy....embrace love, life and happiness...you can look yourself in the mirror and know you did the right thing by him......YOU GO GIRL!
2007-01-02 11:41:52 · answer #5 · answered by miatalise12560 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let go and let GOD help you, find a new hoppy to help take your mind off it. Make new friends and stay busy and try not to dwell on your relationship with him.
2007-01-02 11:32:39 · answer #6 · answered by Demetria S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL HE SURE MANIPULATED YOU, DIDN'T HE. AND YOU'RE AN ENABLER - BE CAREFUL OF THAT IF YOU GET INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP.
THE PROBLEM HERE IS YOU BEHAVED AS IF HE WERE YOUR CHILD AND YOU HIS MOMMY...... STAY AWAY FROM GUYS WITH BIG PROBLEMS...NOTHIN BUT HEARTACHE.
2007-01-02 11:40:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's his problem not yours. Just remember that. You are not the bad person here.
2007-01-02 11:31:00 · answer #8 · answered by tumbleweed1954 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i msorry, adn hes a jack ***. just keep doind what you are, and good luck :]
2007-01-02 11:33:27 · answer #9 · answered by L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋