Grandma VS. Mom?

Question

There's a law about grandparents getting involved in a parents decsion. I'm a mother of a three year old boy. My mother is very close to my son. But every time I want something with my son. she's always getting involved. When I say something to my son. She gets between him and I. I want my son to go to Head Start, so he may play with other children, get some education, and be like a 3 year old. Mom and I are not getting along, because she does want him to go to head-satrt. I called to check if there were any openings two blocks away. Mom started yelling...WHY??..why does he have to go to head-start. I become feeling so bad, thinking I'm not a good mother..because I'm sending my son to school. What sould I tell mom? What could I do?.. Help needed..ASAP!

Answer 1

Hey, remember your mom raised you, and didnt do too bad a job. Never count mom out, you will one day need her, and she wont be there.
Are you living with mom? Mom is just that, Mom. Always will be, even to grandbabies. It is a natural instinct. The longer you live with mom, the longer it will last. (Been there.)
Sit down and talk to mom as an adult. We seem to always think of you as our baby, so you have to allow that. :)
Find out why mom is agains head start. Then tell mom why you want him to go. You might be able to reach a comprimise that is agreeable to you both.
Does mom work, if not, let her do the same activities with your son that head start will do. Set up a schedule of events, trips to the park for other children time included.

Answer 2

Hi-I went though this too-you are not alone. Send your child to Head start. I am the President of the Parents Association at my son's Head Start so I tell you from experience that Head Start will do much more than give your child some kids to play with during the day. They feed nutritious meals, often times have field trips, make sure medical, dental and pshycological needs are being met and also provide the child the classroom experience which they need come 1st grade. Their desires to learn, socialize and be independent are also met. Then for YOU-Head Start usually offers programs for parents such as financial planning, tax preparation help, job training resources, etc. Big plus too-FREE TIME! Send your child but most important-stay involved while he's in school. Volunteer at the center, attend meetings, talk to his teachers, etc. Good Luck!

Answer 3

You are the Mom-your Mom raised you and now it is your turn to raise your own child. You are in no way being a bad Mom at all so don't even think that way. Sounds like your Mom has some control issues that she should work out. Head Start is a great program and kids really enjoy being there, they make friends and learn so much that prepares them for kindergarden. Tell your Mom that you are sending your son to child to HeadStart because it will be good for your son and leave it at that, no need to explain because it is your little boy.

Answer 4

You need to have someone watch your son one afternoon so you can have a long talk with her. If you think you need a mediator so the things you say to each other don't get blown out of proportion, ask a mutual friend whom you both trust to sit with the two of you. Write down a few instances where you felt she humiliated you and bring them to her attention. Explain to her that you don't feel like you can be a mother to your son with her constantly interfering. If she doesn't understand then you need to limit the amount of time she spends with your son to allow YOU to be the mom. Trust me. I had the same problem with my mom. She made a lot of decisions concerning my daughter (without my concent) she felt like the "mother" and couldn't really enjoy being the grandmother. At one point my daughter was calling her Mom!!! My daughter is still really close to my mom but now I'm the mom. Here are few questions you should ask her to get her to understand your side:

1. Do you think I'm a bad Mom or incapable of making decisions for my son concerning his best interests?

2. There is nothing wrong with sharing your opinion about issues regarding my son, but why do you expect me to follow your advice all the time?

3. So you realize by sharing the "Mom" role with me, you don't enjoy being a grandmother?

Make sure she realizes that being a grandmother is a very fulfilling role and she will continue to be close to her grandson if you make the final decisions and not her. Above all remember that you are the mother and you are responsible for your son. If you let her convince you to keep your son from Head Start it's your son who misses out on all of the experiences he could learn from the program. And considering his age, it WILL make a difference. Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

Girllll I know how you feel. My mom is ALL over me and my daughter. I just tell her. MOM, you're done raising your kids, now let me raise mine. And to tell you the truth putting my daughter in school has been the BEST thing I have done for her.

Your son will learn A LOT and be prepared for school when he is ready. I would not hesitate to put my child in a daycare. It does benefit your child.

Answer 6

tell youre mom that head start is just that a head start for youre son. and dont let her make you feel like a bad person because you want whats best for youre son. tell her he is youre son and you will decide what is best.But dont just shut her out take what she says in to inconsideration and then make youre choose. good luck

Answer 7

Your the mother you make the decsions for your son not her make that clear to your mother! when she ask why he has to go to head start tell her because YOU said so and YOU are his mother not her

Answer 8

Well, if she doesn't want him to go to Head Start, then tell her to keep him all day and teach him his ABC's and 123's--seriously.

I taught pre-K, but there are many parents who do a great job of home-schooling--an even better job I think, because with 20 students in one Pre-K room, its hard to teach. If she wants to home school him--then tell her to go right ahead. (but dont say it with a smart alecy tone like I just did :) )