my 20 month old daughter has started hitting any ideas to stop this?

Question

my daughter started at day care about 2 months ago from 9-1 on a monday and friday.
she never used yo hit or be agressive. infact if some one took something off her she would sit down and cry.
but omg she has changed she has been trying to bite me, she hits if you tell her of she squels and snatches off of other kids.
is this a normal stage or is it because shes reacting to her start at daycare need to stop this behaviour as new baby on the way.
please help me

Answer 1

I would talk with your day care provider. Even though this is a totally normal behavior, she may be learning this from another child in her room and you want to be sure she isnt mocking something that is being done to her by another child that you are not being told about. The only reason I say this is because you say she has had no prior aggression and would sit and cry rather then defend herself. As for your new baby buy her a doll and role play with her to prepare her for all the things you will have to do with the baby but make sure to include her in some to when the real baby does come. Show her how to love the baby and be gental because the baby is so small. And just keep giving her simple reminders that what she is doing hurts you/her friends and you/they dont like it. When she does try to hit stop her and take her hand and softly stroke your face with her hand while saying the word gental or nice. Which ever you use repeat it to her while she is doing things on a daily basis. "I see you are playing nice with Sally." or " I like it when your gental with Fluffy." Eventually things will smooth over but you need to be consistant in your approach and tell your day care provider about the technique you have chose so they can follow what you are doin. Dont hesitate to tell your childs teacher it is their job to care for your kids as if it were you caring for them.

Answer 2

hi! i am a preschool teacher and current home daycare provider i have a degree in early childhood education and to tell you the truth this is totally normal not fun but normal a lot of time this happens because of the frustration of not being able to talk they cant tell someone move i cant see or i want that back this can also be true for good talkers who are communicating with children who being young them selves are not listing to the child who is telling them something so they hit or bite and unfortunately it gets the attention and the immediate response that they wanted the other child moves gives them the toy etc once they see it works it becomes easier to do what works fast and gets them the best result. at two which she is very close to the world revolves around them other people and there feelings don't really matter or count that's why children this age really cant be expected to "share" it is a concept after 15 years of doing this i can tell you is beyond most 2 year old and usually does not kick in till 3 and then it is in little steps some ways to stop this behavior at home are to be consistent and firm this does not mean yelling it means getting on her level and in clear words and a firm voice where she can see your face and see it is not happy tell her that is not OK i do not like that when you hit you go....on time out in to the crib, in where ever you think is a safe place for her she will cry and yell but she must see that when her behavior is not OK she is removed from the group or table or where ever you are as she sits and crying after 2 minutes and please during this time you must pretend to ignore her no matter how loud she gets you then tell her when you are done you can come talk to me when she is done that's when you bring her over and tell her now in a nicer but not babying voice so she realizes she is not in trouble but that you are not playing with her that its not OK to hit she needs to have nice hands and if she is not nice then she will go and sit this works really well with my toddlers at my daycare and right now i have 4 two year olds and 1 three year old and 1 one year old now biting that's a big one i hate biting it hurts alot and can be dangerous to the biter and the child being bit. in my home daycare this is a major time out usually 5 min they get the same talking to as with the hitting but not with a happier tone i really want then to know that i mean no biting so i don't ever talk about it with a smile or soft tone because i want them to know that i mean it! what ever item they bite or hit for needs to go to the child who had it first and they need to see you comforting that child so they understand that they are the ones who did the wrong thing as hard as it is also don't let your child hear you say what was the other kid doing to her? this is hard for a parent i now but it starts sending a message that there is a justifiable reason to hit or bite so sometimes it might be OK and unless its in self defense we know its not and they will not understand that's not to say that at times the other child may have provoked them but you don't want your child to hear you ask so ask the teachers on the side so you get the whole story and remember most young children have a very short memory and so you can go home and talk about not hitting and biting but punishing her hours after it happened will not help and will only confuse her so its better to let the teachers handle it and then just talk about what happened or that you don't like hearing she was hitting.

Answer 3

My daughter would hit when she didn't get her own way, and still does sometimes, so what I suggest may not be perfect, but it is better then having her hit all the time.

When she would hit me I would say to her "They aren't your gentle hands, show my your gentle hands" and I would then get her hands and show her what I meant by gently. Then I would get her to do it and make such a fuss about it and about how clever she is to have gentle hands etc, then the next time she hit I would ask her to show me her gentle hands again. This may be a good time to start talking about sharing with her. Maybe do some role plays at home with her. I watched this show on Discovery Health were they brought in a doll (to represent the baby) and started to get the child used to interacting with a baby.

We also have a bit of a lighthearted joke going when if someone does something by mistake or that they shouldn't (including myself and her father) we laugh and say "Silly mummy, I forgot to strap you in the high chair!" (for example) and we have a laugh, we also do it with "Silly susie, those aren't your gentle hands, or that isn't the way that we share, show mummy how you share" It isn't done in a derogitory way, just lighthearted and we also include ourselves in it too. That way it takes the emphasis off the bad behaviour and encourages the good behaviour.

Answer 4

It's ok, every kid at this age tends to go through this, however there are ways to teach them to STOP..
Ask her daycare instructor if she tends to this offten and if so with who? I have a 2 year old and there was a time where she was acting this same exact way, however i allowed the teacher to give her time out and allow her to understand it's not ok to hit. Now she tends to want to help out and share all her toys, so just a matter of time your baby should be ok.

Answer 5

I know this sounds dumb, but it worked for me..

If your toddler tries to hurt you (bite you, hit you, etc.) pretend to cry. Put your hands over your face and make crying sounds. It teaches them that hurting others makes them feel bad and teaches them empathy.

Like I said, it totally worked for my 2 year old.

Answer 6

It's a type of communication expression so its important to acknowledge and discipline this behaviour.
It's also another way to get attention.