an elderly friend of mine that i live with is getting on my nerves as she's so pessimistic towards my relationships... i spent xmas and new year's with my date and it turned out well! yesterday, he called me twice to talk to me and the old lady said he's full of **** and blah blah! this is not the first time she's done this... she's always criticizing my friends and tries to tell me to eliminate them... a friend wants to buy me an expensive gift and she keeps telling me not to accept it! she tells me i shouldn't fall in love and all that crap.. she's in her 80s and i'm in my 20s! i live with her and pay her minimum rent! she's not a bad person, but why do you guys think she keeps playing my friends and this guy i'm dating down, whats her problem, help please
2007-01-02 10:52:31 · 25 answers · asked by chocy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe she is just afraid of losing you, like if you find a nice guy and marry him, you won't live with her anymore, she will be lonely.
Plus older people sometimes are just ornery.
2007-01-02 10:57:13 · answer #1 · answered by lil' angel 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like she is afraid that if you and your boyfriend do well then you might get married and leave her or if you get a chance to move in with a friend then again you might leave her many people her age are afraid of being alone and dying alone and so if she is your only friend then she doesn't need to worry about being by her self does she have any one other then you friends or family if not then you can see where her fear comes from just try to be patient and remind her that she means a lot to you as a friend and make sure you are still spending time with her especially if you where before your boyfriend or the holidays she just might be a little worried and because she does not want to seem needy or scared and she may want you to want to be with her not just because you feel sorry for her, she is not telling you the real reasons behind her feelings.
2007-01-02 19:01:50 · answer #2 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, maybe she has had more experience in the relationship department then you realize. She may not realize that it truly bothers you and that your taking some of it to heart. Ask her why she keeps interfearing but make sure you don't offend her when you do. For all you know is she's trying to prevent you from making the same mistakes she had. As for your friends and boyfriend just keep an eye out and make sure that she won't have the chance to say "I told you so." Good luck
2007-01-02 18:58:21 · answer #3 · answered by Mystic-scorpio 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know its really really annoying sometimes, but remember she is most likely doing this out of love.
I probably don't have to tell you that most guys are pigs/jerks/insert-your-own-insult. Your elderly friend is probably just very concerned and over protective, she doesn't want to see you get hurt.
Sit her down and explain to her that you appreciate very much that she cares and is trying to protect you, but that your not a little girl any more and she has to support you as you make your own decisions. Remember to be as nice as possible - as an overly protective person myself, I know how hard it is to let your friends go into the big scary world.
2007-01-02 18:57:18 · answer #4 · answered by Chip 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is probably lonely and knows that if you go out with people then you will around alot less often. She wants to keep you around to keep her company. Try to set up times just for her. Try a bingo night or something like that. Let her know that her friendship is important too without telling her. She will probably begin to calm down if she sees that she won't lose out on you as a friend if you show her that you will be there for her too.
2007-01-02 18:56:58 · answer #5 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you talk to her about all your business?Okay so either move out or at least take your personal life elsewhere.She probably doesn't mean any harm.She's just old and has probably not a whole lot going on in her own life.Maybe she thinks shes looking out for you but you are an adult your own person.GoodLuck!!
2007-01-02 18:58:56 · answer #6 · answered by lady2 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask her about her love life. Sounds like she's very into that subject area. It bet you discover a thing or two about what makes her tick -- and nag. Also don't let it touch you... don't listen. Focus on something else when she's at it again. Start talking about something not love related you care about that day. Refuse to be invaded by her negative attitude. Good luck!
2007-01-02 19:02:22 · answer #7 · answered by mu5himo 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the answer is obvious,...shes afraid if you fall in love you will leave her and she will be all alone.for an old person the fear of being alone,(and dieing alone) is crippling.she see all your friends and dates as a threat,therefore they become enimies to her that must be run off.just be understanding and re assure her that they are not a threat to her.you are probably all that she has and cant stand the thought of losing you.good luck and have a great day.
2007-01-02 19:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
probably she doesn't like your friends or getting old and more grumppy and doesn'ywant to not see teenagers turing older and getting in love and she has been through that and made a mistakeand trying to get you to not get you in the same situation so keep in mind that and may be pretend not to have your friends over or she will be like that again and I am telling you when i was young my grandma did that she hated my friends so I tried that and it worked.
2007-01-02 19:01:19 · answer #9 · answered by christie n 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She could of had expierence when she was growing up. Probaly why she is not married. She might of been and had some problems and broke up. Try to help her and talk to her. Even know she is doing that I would still be nice to her and meet your friend somewhere else than at your house.
2007-01-02 18:56:35 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel N 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋